Into The Darkness
by littledove27
Summary: *SEQUEL TO: INTO THE MYSTIC* It's been 5 months since Damon flipped the switch on his humanity and disappeared from Mystic Falls without a trace, leaving a newly turned Elena to try and pick up the pieces without him. Will he find his way back to her and more importantly...will he find his way back to himself?
1. Chapter 1

**INTO THE DARKNESS-**

 **A sequel to** _ **Into The Mystic**_

 _ **by littledove**_

 **Chapter One- Two Degrees of Normal**

The sound of the alarm should have woken me up, but my weary eyes were already wide awake, and had been since I laid my head down on my pillow to rest a few hours earlier. As a vampire, I didn't get "tired" in the normal sense of the word. I didn't _need_ sleep like I had as a human, but it was certainly still an enjoyable activity…not that I would know that lately. I couldn't honest tell you the last time I had gotten more than three hours sleep, and although immortality certainly had its perks, the endless array of time to waste was a blessing and a curse. On one hand the prospect of having unlimited time to achieve and see all the things I wanted to in life had an element of excitement about it, but it also had a morbidity to it that I couldn't quite understand. But I was too tired to think about that today. I had an executive coming into town from New York and Caroline and I were busy in preparation.

So much had changed in the past five months yet I constantly felt like I was stuck in the same position, which was insane considering the state my life was currently in. I was a vampire. Me, Elena Gilbert was a _vampire_ , but that wasn't even the strangest part. I was a vampire who was also the current CEO of the multi-million dollar company _Salvatore & Sons_. Yep…don't quite know how that one happened. Well, I do. During my post transition house arrest, Stefan had asked me, and when I say asked I mean coerced, to help him manage the work load while he looked to replace the position left by…the previous boss. Because of my involvement and job as assistant to the CEO, I knew the ins and outs of the role, and my intel was greatly cherished at a time when the head of the company had up and vanished into thin air. Days led to weeks, weeks led to months, and eventually, Stefan stopped looking for a replacement and instead made me interim CEO of the company. It wasn't exactly my ideal position, and it wasn't what I wanted to do for the rest of my eternity on earth, but it kept me overwhelmingly busy….which was a god sent at the moment….and I was good at it, and I needed to feel good at something at the moment. So here I was, facing another early morning at the helm of the Salvatore machine and with absolutely no idea how long I would be doing it for. Caroline had of course stepped up to the plate to help out and had taken over my previous role as PA. Although she was technically my assistant, I liked to think of her more of a godsend, and with each new day she seemed to be the anchor that was weighing me back down to earth. She kept me grounded and kept me holding onto my humanity, which was important because this job was so easy to turn off and get lost in. I could see exactly why _he_ had revelled in it for so long. It was a total power trip but everything was so black and white in the business world…and that was comforting. It gave me a sense of control at a time when my willpower was a struggle for me, and in hindsight it had actually been the perfect distraction.

I think Caroline had enjoyed our new roles more than anyone, and I could completely understand why. Although it was tarrying being the head of such a large corporation, the fact that we would still have two degrees of normal in the workplace while still being inside the vampire bubble of the CEO floor was calming. We would have a business meeting but the second we got back to the office it was blood bags out in the open, and I think for two new vampires that took the pressure off. My transition hadn't been easy, and in comparison Caroline had made it look like a walk in the park. 5 months on and I still struggled day to day with my blood lust, but I had enough compassion and respect for humans not to let it consume me to the point of attacking someone. Sure, my basic urge was to hunt and kill, but it didn't mean that I had to be a monster. After everything that had happened I could never forgive myself if I were to hurt someone, and as hard as it was I had to fight with every fibre of my being to hold onto the parts of me that remained empathetic and compassionate to others.

I had a huge day ahead of me and not even my morning combo of two blood bags and a few too many glasses of scotch could ease my nerves. In my human days I had never been big on drinking…I was a lightweight on a good day and never could have imagined knocking back entire bottles by mid-morning without evening blinking an eye. I had discovered early on in my transition however that alcohol…particularly malt liquor….was a life saver when it came to cravings and just really took the edge off in general. I was in a perpetual state of drunkenness lately, or 'business drunk' as Caroline so eloquently liked to call it in order to enable my uneasiness on the topic. I think it just frightened me how much I had begun to emulate _him_. A reclusive drunk corporate type. And also sad because it made me think of him….not that I needed much encouragement, he was consistently on my brain. With two more glasses of scotch and a vague attempt at my makeup, I was in the town car and on my way to the _Salvatore & Son's _offices. Stefan usually rode to work with me. He had taken on a lot more responsibility since the unexpected departure of his business partner and he was usually at the office from dawn till dusk like I was, but he was on a trip at the moment. He left quite abruptly and said something about a merger in Dallas- but I knew what that meant. He had been using every resource at his fingertips the last few months to try and locate his brother, and after the first two times of him flying out to some random location in the middle of the night only to return with not so much as a sighting, he had stopped telling me about them. I don't know whether he thought it upset me or if he didn't want to get my hopes up….but every time he came through the door of Salvatore Manor with only his suitcase in toe, I became more and more disillusioned that we would ever see _him_ again….at least not this decade. My thoughts were drifting to him again as the doors of the lift opened and I walked out across the marble floor of the CEO level, and I had to pull myself into line if I was going to make it through the day. We had the biggest merger in the history of the company in the works, and Enzo, the account coordinator who I had met on my trip to New York, was going to be joining us in Mystic Falls for a few months in order to oversee it, and he was arriving today. I didn't quite know how he was going to handle living in our quaint little town but I'm sure he would get used to it, and besides, it was only temporary.

I enjoyed a few hours of peaceful work time before Caroline Forbes greeted me with her presence at around 9am. As much as I loved Caroline and as greater help as she was to me at the moment, she seemed to constantly blur the lines between work time and social time. I had taken on a lot when I had accepted this role, and the duties and responsibilities that came with it were far greater than I had ever imagined. Caroline on the other hand seemed to think us working together was a 8 hour sleepover, and she had unofficially moved into my office where she just loved to jabber and chatter throughout the day, unaware of the thousands of emails and documents I needed to get through. She was a great assistant and she had taken over my job well….but some days I wished she would just leave me be.

"Well, don't you look refreshed and revitalised" She smirked sarcastically as she waltzed into my office with two large lattes in hand "Did you get ANY sleep last night?" I exhaled in minor frustration at the pending lecture I was about to receive from my best friend

"A few hours. I was up doing emails a lot of the night"

"Elena…" She started

"Caroline" I said mirroring her tone "Need I remind you that we don't actually _need_ sleep. We just do it to waste the time"

"You still need to recharge your batteries"

"I'll take it under consideration" I smiled weakly but it didn't seem to appease her. Some days I felt like she took this job to keep an 'eye' on me. I shouldn't complain though, I was lucky to have such a wonderful and caring friend in my life. A lot of people didn't have that luxury. "How are we looking for Enzo's arrival?"

"Good" She replied, thankfully distracted from her 'you aren't looking after yourself' critique. "I got a text from the driver in New York to say he's been picked up from the office and is on route to the airfield, he should arrive by midday"

"And were we able to get him upgraded into the suite at the Holiday Inn?"

"We sure were" She smiled sweetly. I returned to my emails mindlessly and began typing away.

"Great. I still think we should look into getting him a serviced apartment in the Nexus place downtown….make him feel a little bit more at home since he's going to be here for a while"

"Yes I think that's a good idea. You're so thoughtful Elena" She grinned. I didn't like that smile. Whenever it eloped her gentle features I knew something devilish was about to come out of her mouth. She continued eyeing me with the troublesome smile until I finally gave up

"What?"

"I just think its great how attentive you are to him" _Oh here we go_. Ever since Caroline had accompanied me on a trip to the New York office last month she had been harping at me about the prospect of a romantic relationship between me and Enzo

"It's not _attentive_ Caroline. He's an employee from the company who is uprooting his life to assist us with a merger. The least we can do is make sure he is as comfortable and happy as possible"

"Oh I think he's going to be _very_ comfortable being in Mystic Falls"

"Caroline!"

"What!

"He is a colleague of ours. You need to treat him with some respect"

"I do. And I _respectfully_ think that he is absolutely gorgeous" She smirked "And completely into you"

"He's not into me….we just happen to have a pleasant working relationship"

"Oh come on Elena the guy is smitten as hell with you! And you could do a lot worse. He's sexy, smart, funny and BRITISH. Like come on the guy ticks all the boxes"

"Well why don't you date him then if he's such a catch?" She really was getting on my last nerve with this. Of all the things in the world I could comprehend doing in my current state, dating was not one of them.

"Because I'm not the one who is single" She smiled. _Ouch_. That one stung.

"I'm not single I'm…" I began to say before pinching the bridge of my nose in frustration. Well, technically I guess I was, but…oh god it was just such a nightmare. "I'm just not interested okay"

"Why not?" With one sentence my resolve shattered and I swiped the glass vase full of the most stunning sunflowers off my desk, shattering it on the floor. Unnerved but concerned, Caroline's eyes never left me as my head fell into my hands

"I'm sorry" I whispered "Its…..it's only been a few months" With the chink in my armour completely visible to her now, she made her way around the desk and sat on the edge, resting a comforting hand on my shoulder.

"I know it has sweetie and I didn't mean to upset you. I'm just, worried about you"

"You shouldn't be. I'm fine. I'm not perfect but I'm functioning"

"Are you though? I haven't seen a genuine smile on your face since you transitioned. And you know, if you went out with Enzo and had a nice meal and a couple of laughs, where is the harm in that?" I finally found the courage to look up at her and the unease I saw on her face made me feel beyond guilty for snapping at her "You sit at that desk working yourself to the bone for 15+ hours a day and then when you do come home you lock yourself away in the den or your room and work some more. I understand how much pressure you put on yourself to take care of the company and live up to the unrealistic expectations you think Stefan has of you, but I worry…..I worry that you're using this as a shield. I worry that you're hiding behind it, and that can be okay for a little while but eventually it's going to consume you. You need to cut loose every once and a while…you need to have some fun…and you need to start living your life again" I thought about what she was saying, and although it was completely true, I couldn't see anything wrong with using this job as a shield. If it was getting me through the day and it wasn't hurting anyone…what was wrong with it?

"Maybe next decade" I joked with a light hearted smile. It was not received very well. "What do you want me to say Caroline that I'm a workaholic? I know I am, but if it keeps me distracted then I'm sorry but it's what I'm going to do." She took a deep breath and mustered up some courage for her next sentence.

"I need to say something to you, and it might not be what you want to hear but it's what you _need_ to hear. You need to stop sitting around and waiting for him to come back because Elena….he might never come back. And if he does, it's not going to be the man you're in love with….it's going to be someone else….and you need to prepare yourself for that. You've got to let go honey. You've got to let go and move on with your life" I knew it was true, it was something that I thought about every second of every day. If I were to see _him_ again, if by some chance he did come back to Mystic Falls, the likelihood of it being _him_ , the man I was so desperately and hopelessly in love with, was slim to none. From what Stefan had told me, once a vampire turns off their humanity the road back to themselves can be nearly impossible….especially for an older vampire….and deep down, I knew that I may never see the true him again. But it still stung to hear it come out of her mouth.

"I can't" I admitted honestly... "I won't give up on him Caroline. I _can't_ give up on him"

It was the first time I had said it out loud. But I knew it was true. As lost and as scared as I was, if I knew one thing for certain, it was that as long as I lived….I wouldn't give up until I had him back. Until I had _my_ Damon Salvatore back.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two: Home

I stared guiltily at my watch as I breezed through the doors of the function room at the Grill running fashionably late which seemed to be a habit of mine lately. I had every intention of getting to the welcome party being held for Enzo on time but I swore it had only been 5.30pm when I decided to answer just a few more emails and when I looked at the small clock on my Macbook it was 7.20pm. I found lateness to be one of the highest forms of disrespect and even though my new position with _Salvatore & Son's_ came with power and prestige, I didn't want to have a reputation of being constantly late to meetings and events: it didn't set a good image for the company and it didn't represent who I was. Who was I kidding….I didn't even know who I was anymore. But right now, I had to put my most used mask on and that was: _Elena Gilbert, charming CEO of Salvatore & Sons. _It seemed to fit me quite well and I had become quite skilled at the little façade.

It was a work night so I shouldn't have been shocked to see that not many employees had stayed past the early formalities of the cocktail party, there were only a handful of people left, including, not surprisingly, Caroline Forbes, who was sitting next to Enzo and Kate from marketing in one of the booths sipping a champagne ever so elegantly. I smiled politely at a few people as I moved through the room and towards the table they were sitting at.

"Ah, speak of the devil" Caroline greeted in an overly bubbly voice. She was clearly a few too many chardonnays deep in the event "Glad you could grace us with your presence oh powerful leader" Enzo looked only slightly amused at the comment but I could tell he was a little uncomfortable at the backhanded remark.

"I apologise for being late, it really is inexcusable. I was answering a few emails and time simply got away from me…." I explained smoothly. Enzo smiled at me in understanding while Kate's eyes darted erratically from me to the booth, not knowing quite where to look. Since my promotion people around the office had certainly treated me differently, I guess that came with the territory.

"It's totally fine Elena. Please….join us" Enzo said, gesturing to the empty seat across from him. I followed his request and slid into the booth clumsily.

"Enzo was just telling us about growing up in England. It sounds…just amazing!" Caroline gushed with vigour in my direction. I made a mental note to myself to kick her in the shins as soon as we were back at home.

"Oh yeah? I've always wanted to go. The English countryside has been high on my bucket list for many years" Caroline seemed to take a little too much pleasure in my engagement in the conversation than she should have. This ridiculous pipe dream of hers was beginning to get on my last nerve. What made her think hooking up with Enzo would 'help' me absolutely baffled me. It wasn't like I was a widow or someone whose boyfriend had broken up with her. Mine had turned off his humanity and become a runaway soulless vampire- it was a little different and there wasn't exactly a 'right' way to cope in this type of situation. It may not be the approach that she would take in my shoes but it was working for me, and I shouldn't have to continue justifying it. And a one night fuck with my subordinate wasn't going to bring anything but trouble…..and I had had just about enough trouble for one year.

"You're kidding? Well we should plan a trip in the summer. I've got a house in Kent which is just stunning that time of year" _No, she'll have a field day with this_

"Do you hear that Elena? A trip to _Kent_. Sounds….gorgeous" Kill me. Right now.

"That's a very kind offer Enzo but I doubt I'll have the opportunity for many vacations this year…increased work load and all" I smiled as politely as possible. _Please lord let this end_.

"Oh don't say that Elena. As your assistant I can guarantee you that I can make the time on your schedule" She grinned devilishly "Kate, come to the bar with me will you? It looks like you need another drink"

"I'm fine actually I have to drive home shortly" Kate responded quietly. She was obviously intimidated by all of us and felt a little uncomfortable now that the CEO was here.

"I'll pay for your cab Kate. _Bar. Now_ " Although she had a smile and her tone was sickly sweet, her eyes told a different story, and poor Kate was at the mercy of the classic Caroline arm twist. She followed after her extremely sheepishly "I'll leave the two of you to _talk details_ " she added before dragging poor Kate over to the bar. I exhaled deeply in frustration, growing very tired of this insane game she was playing. She had to know it was bothering me right? Especially after the talk we had had today in my office. Unfortunately it only seemed to fuel her fire, and I prayed it was just because had had a few too many drinks.

" _O-kay_ why did that feel super awkward?" Enzo asked with a nervous chuckle. He was perceptive, I'd give him that

"Because it was" I chuckled back lightly. I did feel unusually at ease in his presence, I had noticed it the first time I had met him in New York and it had not wavered. I reached my hand across the table and took Caroline's still full glass of champagne from where she had been sitting and began sipping it eagerly

"Something I'm missing?" He questioned, eyeing me curiously. Ordinarily I would have been embarrassed beyond belief at sharing her insane plot with someone, but something about Enzo made me comfortable enough to be frank with him. Over the past few months of working closely together I had come to regard him as a close ally and confidant within the company- and they were few and far between in the corporate world. Hell they were few and far between in any world.

"Caroline is operating under the insane notion that something is going to happen between the two of us" I told, causing his eyes to widen in surprise. I doubt he was expecting that response "Romantically I mean"

"Ahh…well that explains it then. She's about as subtle as a hole in the head" I laughed at his humorous retort

"Oh tell me about it"

"Why is it _insane_?" He pressed. _Please no_.

"Because…it just…is"

"I'll have you know I am an extremely eligible bachelor Miss Gilbert" He was toying with me, and a lot of people may have seen it as flirting, but I knew it was harmless banter. I think perhaps he liked pushing my buttons to get me out of my comfort zone, but more in a sibling type fashion than anything of malice.

"Oh I don't doubt it. You're an amazing person and under normal circumstances I would be lucky to score a date with such an _eligible bachelor_ like yourself"

"But" He grinned

" _But_. Firstly, I'm not dating right now. And secondly, we work together"

"Lots of people who work together date"

"Yeah well lots of people are idiots" I told, sipping the champagne to cool the nerves Caroline had awoken "If you work in different departments and you don't have contact with each other professionally I guess it's fine, but for me I just….I don't get involved with the people I work with.."

"Unless they're Damon Salvatore…." I stopped dead in my tracks at the mere mention of his name which was completely and utterly pathetic. Enzo shifted in his seat, surprised at the words that had come out of his own mouth "I'm sorry that wasn't meant to sound so…abrupt"

"No….it's…fine" I choked as the fingers I had curled lazily around the bottom of the champagne glass tightened. I lifted the crystal to my lips and swallowed the remainder of the wine before returning my gaze to a sympathetic looking Enzo. He had mentioned the elephant that followed me into every room I entered, and he knew it. "Am I that obvious?"

"Not at all. Damon on the other hand…" He trailed off with a slight appreciative chuckle. My brow burrowed as I observed him peculiarly "In New York, the first time I met you a few months back, I noticed it the second you both entered the building. No matter where he was in a room or which important executive he was deep in conversation with, his eyes would always scour the room until he found you. He had this…hawk like watch over you….and not in a boss making sure his assistant was doing her job properly kind of way…..it was more a man terribly in love with a woman kind of way. If you moved, he moved…..like, magnets or something. That, and the daggers he was throwing me throughout at dinner when I was seated next to you. I honestly feared for my life that night" I remembered that night well. It was the last ordinary night I'd had before I found out what he truly was, and before Caroline had been turned. A small smile reached the corners of my lips as I reminisced on such a bittersweet and simpler time. Oh if I had only known then…

"Yeah well…things change" I offered lightly. This was hardly the ideal conversation for me to be having. For someone to be talking about _him_ when he was still mine, when the person was still around. I didn't know where he was these days, or even who or what he was.

"Is that why he left?" Enzo asked softly. I scolded myself for my momentary lapse of façade and re-fastened my mask on tight.

"Oh of course not. It was a minor affair….nothing important. Mr Salvatore is on extended personal leave, perhaps even indefinite. He was very good at the job but it was never truly his passion…he and Stefan stepped in after their father died and it was only supposed to be temporary….it just lasted a lot longer than initially planned" At least that was the official story Stefan had cooked up for the company and the minor press about the sudden and unexpected departure of our CEO.

"Kind of like you huh?" Enzo smiled warmly

"Yes…curiously enough" I smiled back. I often did find it ironic how much I had become like Damon since his absence. I don't know if it was modelling of the job or if perhaps I was trying to fill the hole he had left inside me by replicating his behaviours whether passively or not, but either way it was almost humorous. My thoughts were broken by the buzz of my cell phone and I motioned apologetically as I reached down into my hand bag and took it out. Although it was nice having work be a distraction, the incessant buzzing of my business phone was enough to drive anybody crazy. " _Shit_ "

"What?"

"Oh nothing, I just, sent my driver home under the assumption that I would catch a ride with Caroline and she's just text to say she's left"

"Without you?"

"Stefan arrived home early so she's gone to see him. Plus I suspect it's another vain attempt at giving the two of us some _alone_ time" The frustration in my voice caused a humoured giggle to erupt from his chest and I smiled in thankfulness that he hadn't made the entire ordeal awkward. After she had finished 'welcoming Stefan home' she would be getting an absolute earful from me.

"She's persistent….I'll give her that much" He chuckled "Come on…I've got the rental…I'll give you a ride"

"No that's okay, I don't want to drag you away from your welcome wagon early"

"Elena please….there's seven people and a questionable cheese platter left"

"You sure?"

"Yeah it's fine. I'm beat anyways. And besides, as lovely as it was to meet everyone if I have to listen to one more person talk about the upcoming _Miss Mystic Falls_ pageant tonight I'm going to neck myself" I laughed heartedly at him

"Welcome to town" I grinned

"The odds are favouring Penny Lockwood FYI" He added standing up, eliciting another chuckle from my chest. It had been a while since I had genuinely laughed at something and I felt thankful to him in that moment.

It was quite an odd experience driving from the Grill to Salvatore Manor in Enzo's Firebird rental, and it dawned on me that this had been the first time I had been alone with a human….and a man….since my transition. I still struggled with my cravings. It was a constant hot coal that sat in the bottom of my throat but I had certainly learned to live with it at this point. I always tried to be honest with myself about it, particularly when the temptations were extreme. When an overwhelming urge would strike I would acknowledge that I would love nothing more than to bite down and suck the absolute life out of Petra the copy room clerk, but I would also acknowledge that she was a college intern with a family and her entire life ahead of her, and as much pleasure as I would get in drinking her dry….it wouldn't be worth the life lost. It often felt akin to having a drug or alcohol addiction…and I could see how easy and enticing it would be for vampires going through emotional distress to flip the switch and lose themselves in the blood lust. Enzo and I made polite and comfortable chatter on the 10 or so minute drive out to the house, and I couldn't help but be amused when I saw the look on his face as the car pulled down into the driveway and towards the front of the property.

" _Jesus_ " He remarked in wonder. I had had the exact same reaction the first time I had visited it. It had an almost, majestic feel to it. " _You_ live here!"

"Well not just me. Caroline and Stefan as well…"

" _Just a simple home for three"_ He laughed sarcastically, putting the gearstick in park and continuing his roam of the house with his eyes. "This is just insane. It's really just the three of you?"

"Yep" I sniggered

"So how does that work exactly? I mean, I've never heard of a CEO, CFO and PA being flatmates before. Seems a little…"

"Strange?" I finished for him with amusement. "Well yeah if that was our only connection it would be a little strange but, Caroline isn't just my P.A, she's been my best friend since childhood and we've been living together since I moved back to Mystic Falls. She and Stefan have been together for a while and a few months back my parent's place was having a lot of issues and we needed to stay somewhere for a few weeks so Stefan graciously opened up the Manor for us. I don't know, we just all….loved living together so much that Caroline and I never went back. My brother intends on going to college interstate soon and there's really not much use for the house so we sublet it"

"Why do I get the feeling there is so much more to the story than that?" He asked. The tone of his voice portrayed it as a joke but his eyes told me something different. _Oh if you only knew_

"Because you English types always tend to be overdramatic" I teased. We both exited his vehicle and he accompanied me the seven or so steps to the front door "Thank you again for the ride Enzo I appreciate it"

"You're welcome boss" He grinned eagerly "And, I wanted you to know that I don't take any of that Caroline stuff seriously….but that being said….I am new in town, I don't know many people and contrary to popular belief I can be _fun_ ….so if you ever just want to hang out, drink some beers and have some good conversation in a 100% platonic non-romantic type way than feel free to give me a call" I smiled tightly at his sentiment. Caroline may have been certifiably insane with her match making hopes but she was right about me needing to get out a little bit more, and letting my friendship with Enzo develop didn't seem like such a bad way to make that happen.

"Thank you. I just might do that"

"And you know, if you change your mind about the whole date thing and want a 100% non-platonic romantic type hang then feel free to give me a call as well" I slapped him lightly with my handbag and his cheeky grin told me he was kidding "Goodnight Elena. I'll see you at work!"

"Night" I repeated as I watched him swagger back to his rental and disappear up the driveway. I couldn't exactly confide in him about my problems with transitioning or everything that had happened to me since becoming a vampire, but perhaps with enough allegories I could convey it in a different way. Caroline, the Salvatore brothers and I had cultivated such a little protective bubble for ourselves that I couldn't honestly remember the last time I had confided anything in someone outside of that, and considering Bonnie still wasn't too keen on being a permanent fixture in my life at the moment I hadn't really had the opportunity to talk to anyone….so perhaps a nice friendly hangout with Enzo could be a good thing. I'd have to think about it a little more, which I'm sure I would with the sleepless night I knew I was in store for. I began digging around in my handbag looking for my keys when my brain suddenly alerted me to the sound of a breeze and light footsteps.

"Well don't you two make an adorable couple" It was unmistakable, but lately the sound only came to me in my dreams. I had heard it so many times before but only ever with my dull human ears. Now, with my new ones, it sounded like a gruff velvet cupcake. Sexy, smooth and decadent. My eyes flew up to where it was coming from and my stagnant heart felt as if it were fluttering. Black muscle tee, dark blue Levis, leather boots, dominant yet seductive stance, broad shoulders, five o'clock shadow, a messy mop of raven black hair and the most glorious ice blue eyes ever formed. If I thought he was handsome before it was nothing compared to the sight that my newly acquired eyes were drinking in. If it wasn't for the overwhelming scent of musk and spices that intruded my nostrils I would have thought that I was dreaming, but the smell I had come to adore told me I was awake. I had wished so many times to smell it again, and now Damon Salvatore standing in front of me, but there was also something so disturbingly different about him.

" _Damon_ " I breathed. It wasn't a query, it was a declaration procured by pure shock and frankly, awe.

"Elena" He mimicked, lacking _something_ in his voice that I couldn't quite pick up on. I had fantasised about this moment so many times. I had played it over seven thousand different ways in my head and every single time I had run into his arms and made him promise to never let me go. I had kissed his supple lips that formed so perfectly against mine and I had told him just how much I loved him. But now that it was here, now that the impossible had happened and he had finally come home, I stood completely stuck to the pavement, petrified on how to proceed.

"Whaaa….whaat are you…."

"Doing here?" He smirked roguishly, putting weight on the foot that was closest to me and pushing a strange form of dominance in my direction that was beginning to make me feel extremely unnerved. "One of my brother's henchmen burst into my villa this afternoon and ruined a perfectly good party. It seems _fun_ is not the modus operandi of Stefan fucking Salvatore. Anyhow, before I turned his boy in black into an after lunch drink he informed me that the _lovely_ Elena Gilbert was in fact…..alive" He had only spoken one sentence and already my hopes of him coming home to me intact were shattered. He was different, the polar opposite of the man I loved, and just the tone of his voice was all I needed to hear to know that his switch was most certainly still flipped. "I had to see it for myself"

" _Okay_ " Was all I could manage to squeeze out. I was spiralling, I was spinning out of control, and the one person I knew who could help ground me was long gone, and all that remained was the glib vampire in front of me.

"I have to be honest Elena, immortality does _not_ become you. I think I preferred you as a blood bag." He leered turning his head sideways and looking me up and down before sighing "Alrighty, good chat Gilbert, reunion is out of the way, I'm assuming my brother is inside" He gave me an unimpressed look before his legs carried him past me and towards the door, leaving me frozen in place and completely overflowing at the seams. He was back, he was finally back, but for the first time since he had left it was finally clear to me that _Damon Salvatore_ was never coming home.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter Three- Nothing Was The Same**

I couldn't even judge how long I stood there staring after him like an absolute idiot….but it was far longer than my pride would have liked to have admitted. I could hear heated chatter in the distance and began fighting an internal battle between wanting desperately to eavesdrop and also wanting to give Damo and Stefan their privacy. Whatever was going on between Damon and I was completely separate from their relationship and regardless of everyone in the house possessing extra human hearing…we all deserved to have our own discretion in each different relationship. In laymen's terms it was none of my damn business. My morals yet again beat out my desperate curiously and I begrudgingly carried my tired feet up the staircase and towards my room. It had been a very long and tiresome day, and now with the sudden homecoming of soulless Damon, I had a feeling it was about to get even more so. I walked into the room I had been occupying at Salvatore Manor since my transition and kicked my painfully high shoes off into the corner. I didn't much have the energy to check any more emails tonight and decided that a nice glass of scotch and a steaming hot bubble bath was the only thing that would keep my sanity intact.

I impatiently tapped the side of the tub as the water slowly filled it and wished, as I often did, that most things in life could operate at the same speed as I could. You have no idea how monotonous it was having to wait for things to happen on regular human time when you yourself were not a regular human. But that was just yet _another_ adjustment that I needed to get used to since transitioning, another item in the bag of reasons why immortality _sucked_. Literally. The oversized ivory tub was finally steaming hot and after slipping out of the corporate uniform I had become ever so accustomed to I glided inside it, moaning delightfully to myself at how lovely the hot water felt against my cool skin. I curled my fingers around the rim of the scotch glass I had filled and placed on the tub insert a few moments before and brought the amber liquid to my mouth, enjoying the abrupt burn it had on my throat on its way down. I didn't even know where to begin to gather my thoughts. Should I start with the stress of the biggest merger in the company's history that I had somehow become responsible for? The New York executive who I had managed to coerce into leaving his home to move to Mystic Falls to help? The same New York executive who my best friend and PA was ruthlessly attempting to manufacture a romantic relationship with? The end of my human life and the beginning of an immortal eternity as a monster? The fact that my brother had been compelled not to return to Mystic Falls unless Damon himself command him to which meant I hadn't seen him in over 6 months or the big daddy: The return of the vampire previously known as Damon Salvatore. That one was weighing on my mind the most but it was the topic I was most afraid of facing. He was under the same _roof_ as me right now, and I don't think I could quite comprehend that yet. I had spent so many occasions daydreaming of his return…..daydreaming of the incredibly romantic reunion that we would have….and tonight, well, tonight was something that I hadn't imagined would happen in my dizziest daydreams. I had decided earlier today that I would never give up until I had him back….never give up until the man I knew and loved had come back to me, but seeing who he was tonight, seeing that empty shell of a person standing on the front porch, I wondered if maybe it was naiave of me to think that my love would magically lift the spell. Stefan and I had had many discussions about what the ramifications of flipping the switch on your humanity were. I don't necessarily think he was trying to scare me, although the darkness he talked about was frightening, but I think he more wanted to make sure I was prepared for anything, and that my hopes didn't get destroyed when eventually, like tonight, he blew back into town like a bat out of hell as a completely detached guy. Perhaps it was foolish of me to think simply seeing me again would reawaken the humanity he had discarded. Perhaps Stefan was 100% correct, and the depths someone needed to reach into and go through in order to gain even a slither of it back was near impossible. I couldn't comprehend that kind of hedonistic being. I was a giving and compassionate person and my humanity was something that I thrived on. Someone so attached and feeling could never comprehend the state he was in right now. But that still didn't mean I was going to give up, it was just going to be a rockier and longer road than I ever could have imagined.

"Why do you consistently look so glum Elena? You're a contender in knocking the selfish martyr crown off Stefan's head" I jumped in surprise as if I had been hit with an electric shock. It wasn't very often that someone could sneak up on me since my transition, but Damon had managed it twice this evening. I guess my mind certainly was a thousand miles away. I placed the scotch glass back on the tub insert and made a vain attempt to ensure all of my body parts were covered in bubbles

"Do you _mind_? I'm kind of naked here!" I shrieked at him.

"Oh come on Gilbert it's not like I haven't seen it before" He chortled, sitting on the edge of the bathtub and scooping a hand full of bubbles into his hand "I've definitely seen better but I've seen it" he blew the bubbles from his hand in my direction and gave me a strange little smile at his comment. Is this who he was now? A sarcastic, cruel _asshole_? Because if that was the case this was not a narrative I wanted to be a part of.

"Can I help you with something?" I asked through gritted teeth

"Yes actually, I wanted to know what the fuck happened to my bedroom?" Stefan had cleared out the room a few months ago when it was clear that Damon wasn't coming home. He didn't do it because we necessarily needed the space: the manor was huge, I think he did it more to stop me from going in there and cuddling up on his bed when I was feeling particularly down. It was beyond pathetic, I knew that, but sometimes I enjoyed being able to smell him again. If I closed my eyes tight enough I could pretend that he was still here and I had a feeling my pathetic attempt to feel close to him again bothered Stefan a little. Not in a bad way, more, him being troubled that I was revelling in the heartache. He had assumed an almost unofficial big brother role over me lately, and if I were honest with myself it was comforting to have a male around that I knew I could rely on. Damon's stuff had been put in storage and the room had been converted into yet _another_ guest room that wouldn't be used. Vampires didn't exactly entertain much at home. Guests often turned into dinner when that happened.

"Stefan didn't think you were coming back so he cleaned it out" I told vaguely with a shrug "I'm not sure where your stuff is you'll have to go and ask him"

"Uh well I attempted to do that but according to Barbie he is asleep and I am _not_ to disturb him. I'm not certain who died and made her Queen Bitch but she certainly wears the second title quite well"

"You'll just have to wait until morning then" I commented lightly.

"I can always crash in here with you though right Gilbert? Just like old times" There was nothing sincere or inviting about his sentence and I had never in my entire life felt less attracted to him than I did in this moment. He had an aura of emptiness about him, like an abandoned house on a cold winter's night, and it sent shivers down my spine to hear him talk so off the cuff about our past relationship

"Yeah I think I'll pass on that one Damon" I responded coolly. How was this happening right now? Half an hour ago I didn't have the faintest idea where in the world he was, and now here he was making casual, if not patronising, chatter with me while I was taking a bath. It was surreal.

"Oh come on Elena I see the way you look at me. You still _want_ me" I wanted nothing more than to wipe that smug smirk off his prick of a face, and thanks to my newfound vampirism I liked my chances of kicking his ass in a fight. "Not that I can blame you"

"Things are different now" I warned with venom in my voice

"Yeah they are. Like if we fucked now you would be doing it because you're _in love with me_ and I would be doing it because your tits look good with those bubbles on them" My hands automatically flew up to my chest to cover the area of my body that he was referring to so casually. I had seen him be cruel before but it was almost always a defence mechanism. Underneath it all he had a good heart. But now? This? He was purposely toying with my emotions and _enjoying_ it. It was truly frightening.

"What the hell is _wrong_ with you?" I questioned, not particularly wanting the answer. I knew what was wrong with him yet I was completely and utterly powerless to stop it.

"Oh too many things for your tiny brain to comprehend Elena" He leant down into the tub, cupping some water in his hand and splashing me roughly with it before standing up "I'm going to hit the hay before I fly out tomorrow. As _delightful_ as it's been I really must return to my life of leisure…which is located as far away from this _dump_ of a town and you tedious vampires as I can possibly get" I felt a sharp pain stab into my heart at the thought of him leaving again. Even though he was different, even though nothing was the same, I wasn't sure I was quite ready for him to be gone again. He held my gaze for a little longer than necessary, and for the smallest of moments I thought I saw a glimpse of him, the old him, but I had a feeling I was projecting my desires into it. He broke out of the gaze and lifted himself off the edge of the bath, walking out of the bathroom and quite possibly my life. I couldn't be here. I didn't want to deal with this. So I decided to do the one thing that had been keeping my sanity lately: retreat to my office and hide behind my work.

X

I had been at the office since Damon had gone to bed last night. Being under the same roof as him, even if it was just for the night, was just too much for me to deal with. I think the glass of my delusion had finally shattered. I'd seen the full ramifications that came with flipping the switch and it was far worse than I ever could have imagined. I don't know what I was expecting, but it certainly wasn't the guy who I had encountered last night. The guy who toyed with my emotions as a form of sadistic sport. It reminded me of Katherine. Not that it mattered anyway, he would probably be halfway back to Guam or Belize or wherever the hell it was he had been. I wanted to fight for him, I wanted to put every single fibre of my being into bringing him back, but I didn't know if I was strong enough yet. I was still struggling with my own transition. Still picking up the pieces of the implications of my own immortality, and I needed time to think and to deconstruct _everything_. It scared me though. I knew I wasn't ready, wasn't prepared to help him find his way back to himself, but I worried that the longer I left it, the longer he lived his life with no emotion, the harder it would be to get him back.

I reached over and grabbed my coffee and noticed it was around 7am. I'd got a tonne of work done last night, but my mind had been continuously drifting to the pressing Damon situation at hand. Where would I even begin with him? I guess it was pointless now. The coffee soothed my throat and I hoped that the caffeine would give me the jolt that I needed to get through the day ahead. Regardless of what was going on in my personal life, we still had the biggest merger in the company's history going through, and my attention needed to be 100% focused on that. Deflection certainly was a beautiful thing. I saw my phone buzz and I glanced over to see Caroline's name on the screen. It was quite literally the 50th call she and Stefan had made to me throughout the night, but I couldn't bring myself to answer. They were obviously wanting to tell me the news, unaware that I'd already had not one but two encounters with the new and definitely not improved Damon. I knew they were watching out for me and cared about me, but I didn't have the energy to be coddled right now. I just wanted to hide out in my foxhole and wallow in my misery for a little bit. I think I had earnt that. I heard the doors of the elevator ding and I looked at the clock again, double checking that I hadn't misread it. It was a little too early for Caroline to be in and I had assumed Stefan would be dragging his feet this morning like he usually did after one of his little 'trips'. My curiosity was soon answered when I saw Damon come tearing out of the elevator like a bat out of hell with a furious looking Stefan hot on his heels. I had never been physically frightened of him, even back in the early days when his violent mood swings used to intimidate me, but in this moment, seeing the ferocity on his lifeless features, I was terrified. He stopped short at the edge of the desk but threw his body across it so his face was a mere inches from mine.

"What the fuck do you call this then?" He roared at me.

"DAMON!" Stefan warned from behind him, grabbing him by the arm and pulling him out of my space. I felt my own anger start to rise in my stomach and I had to use every bit of energy inside my exhausted body to prevent my fangs from popping out in defence. Anger certainly was your go to emotion of immorality, and Damon Salvatore was quickly becoming the number one instigator of mine.

"No this is not _right_!" Damon roared at his brother, shaking out of his grip with clenched fists

"What the hell is your problem?" My tone was irater than I had anticipated and I needed to be careful here. I had cautiously cloaked my emotions in the past few hours, and the last thing I needed was a straw to break the camel's back.

"My problem? My problem is _you_!" He grimaced at me "Pretty great plan of yours Elena. Get me out of the way so you can snavel my job. Congratulations are in order. You really are a cunning bitch"

"How many times do I have to tell you that this was not her decision. _I_ am the one who appointed her, and I had to beg her to do it"

"I'm sure you did"

"Wait I'm sorry. You're pissed off that someone else is taking care of the job that you abandoned?" Was he freaking kidding with this?

"I did not _abandon_ it. I was simply taking some personal leave. That's what the press release said right? Well it's your lucky day because my personal leave has officially ended. You can go ahead and get your bony ass out of my chair now thanks" _Breathe Elena. Just breathe._

"She's not going anywhere Damon"

"Like hell she isn't. This is _my_ job at _my father's_ company. You might be living in the Manor and moonlighting as the CEO honey but you are _not_ a Salvatore"

"And thank fucking god for that!" I roared at him causing the black veins under his eyes to pop out. We stared at each other, blind hatred pulsing through our veins, and I wanted nothing more in this world than to hurl myself across the desk and tear him apart

"That's _enough_! Everyone just needs to calm down!" Stefan screamed in a firm but pleading tone. I knew he hated conflict, especially when it was between the people closest to him "Now Damon, if you want to come back to work you're more than welcome to, but it will be in another, lower tiered position"

" _What_ " Damon growled in response

"Are you honestly delusional enough to think that I would reinstate you as CEO after you've flipped your switch?"

"Actually yes. Unlike some _other_ people, my thought process is purely logical, I don't let emotions interfere with my judgement"

"That may be so but you haven't proven to me that you're capable nor committed enough to be reinstated."

"This is just as much my company as it is yours"

"That's correct. But we also have a board of directors to answer to, none of whom are very happy with your abrupt departure. So, let's make a deal. I'll make room for you as Operations and Quality Control Manager. You will work directly below both Elena and myself and assist us in the preparation of the buyout and merger of Ace Inc. ETA is roughly 3 months and considering it's the biggest our company has ever handled we've had to fly a senior account manager in from New York to assist us so another _experienced_ person working on this as well will make it go a lot smoother. You know the account, you know the GMs and you know the buyout process so it should be a walk in the park for you. If, after that time, you have proven that you are committed to the company, and you don't just want back in because you're feeling _burnt_ that Elena has stepped up to fill your shoes, I will reinstate you as Chief Executive Officer. Lollygag about, pull any stunts or so much as even _think_ about compelling anybody in this office to get your way then I will dissolve your shares in the company quicker than you can say _Salvatore and SON_ …..and you _know_ with my pull with the board I have that ability" They both entered a staring competition, waiting for the other to back down but neither wavering. They had always had this almost telepathic ability to communicate without words, and this was certainly one of those times. They were having a conversation with their eyes and I was completely oblivious to what was going on

" _Fine_. We have a deal" He growled "But _when_ you reinstate me, you're paying to redecorate this office. Something just feels _off_ about it now"

"And just so we are clear. Elena is the interim CEO of this company, and the moment you sign your employment contract that means she is your _boss_ , so you will treat her with the respect that title commands or our deal is off. Are we clear?"

" _Crystal_ " Damon grumbled through gritted teeth. He threw me a heated gaze that almost cut right through me before turning on his heels and high tailing it out of the office in a flash. Once the elevator doors had closed and he was on his way down to the lobby, I let go of the breath I hadn't realised I had been holding, and I finally felt my anger dissipating. I composed myself for a few seconds before noticing that Stefan's worried eyes were on me

"I'm guessing you knew he was back then?" He asked lightly

"Bumped into him last night" I replied shortly with a faux smile on my face "We had a _lovely_ chat"

"I'm sorry"

"Why are you apologising, you don't even know what happened…"

"I don't need to. I know this version of him a little too well" Stefan's face fell a little and I noticed just how much seeing his brother like this hurt him. He was always rooting for him, always believing the best in him, and I saw the frustration it caused him to know just how close Damon was to finding true happiness….before everything fell to absolute shit. He dragged the chair from the side of my desk that had been pushed aside when Damon came flying into my office and sat directly across from me with a penchant look on his face "I didn't want you to see him like this but, I knew once he found out you were alive he would come back. Even the darkest version of him would come back"

"He certainly is different" I responded coolly. I knew what this was. This was big brother Stefan making sure I wasn't falling apart. Truthfully, how could I not be, but I had the ability to lock it away now. I had the ability to push it down to the deepest parts of me and not _feel_ it as much. That was one vampire ability I was grateful for at the moment. "How did you find him?"

"I got a call from one of my private eye guys. He located him about an hour south of Dangriga…"

"Yeah Belize, I caught that much"

"He asked me if I wanted him to go in and I told him to stand down until I got down there. By the time I got to the villa I walked in on a massacre of my guys, they'd got wind that he was getting ready to move so they went in. _Idiots_. They didn't quite know who or _what_ they were dealing with. Anyway, I thought he'd be halfway down the South American coast by then so I decided to head home and put it down to another loss. Imagine my surprise when Caroline tells me this morning that my big brother arrived late last night…" I was trying to comprehend what Stefan just said but I couldn't wrap my head around it. The thought of Damon _murdering_ those men, in complete and utter cold blood was just…inexplicably sickening. "It's not him Elena" Stefan whispered, creepily reading my mind like he often did. I gave him an appreciative smile

"I know. I understand it, what you've been telling me, better now it's just. It's hard to believe. Even seeing it with my own eyes I don't think I one hundred percent believe it. It's just a completely different guy. I feel a little embarrassed that I was so naïve about the whole thing until last night"

"He was awful?"

"Oh you know. Emotionless, cruel, sadistic. Almost, Katherine-esque, without the constant attempted murder" I chortled in mock laughter "I wonder if we'll see her return now that Damon is back"

"Who knows? She's been quiet ever since he left, it wouldn't hurt us to take some extra precautions now he's back in town" Stefan commented lightly. The _only_ good thing that had come from my death was that for some reason, Katherine had completely disappeared. Bigger fish to fry we had figured. Stefan had a theory that she was on the run from someone, it's why she never stayed in one place for too long, but I couldn't imagine the kind of person that would scare Katherine Pierce. It was too much evil for me to comprehend. And now we had another unpredictably dangerous vampire in town, except this one used to be our greatest ally "I need you to prepare yourself for what's about to come Elena. It's going to be, well, hell, especially for you"

"What?" I asked confused

"For some reason, you having this job has really gotten under his skin. He didn't give a goddamn when I wanted to talk business with him this morning, until he found out that you are interim CEO. He flew into this maniac rage. Literally 0 to 100 in a second flat. It was scary, even for him"

"Why? I mean, it's just a job?"

"I don't think it has to do with the job Elena. I think it has everything to do with you"

"But _why_?"

"Right now, you're the only thing that's got a shot at making him flip the switch….and deep down, this dark horrible version of him knows it. I know how he thinks when he's like this, and he sees you as a threat. He's going to come after you in anyway he can, and I guess he sees this as a perfect opportunity"

"To do _what! Kill me!_ " I shrieked in a panic

"No, no, of course not. Just, break you. Physically, mentally, anyway he can really. That's why I need you to prepare yourself, because things are about to get really, really, rough"

"You've got to be kidding me" I sighed in defeat. Was he serious right now? We had just come off high alert in regards to Katherine and now what, I had to be on constant alert for Damon? This was insanity

"I know I ask too much of you Elena. I have from the very beginning when I begged you to help me with him. And the past few months, putting the pressure of this job on your shoulders when you've been struggling with your transition and struggling with him being gone. I know I don't have a right to ask this of you, after everything that you have suffered because of my family, but I'm going to, I'm going to ask you the same thing I asked that morning at the waterfall. For you to _help_ him see the light, to help him find his way back to himself"

"Stefan…"

"Please Elena. You have to see that you're the only shot I have with this"

"I can see it but I just. I don't know if I have it in me anymore" I spoke honestly "I'm not the same girl I was then. I was so hopeful and optimistic, even when everything around me told me otherwise. But now? I'm tired. I'm mentally exhausted every second of every day and I have this, this _anger_ inside of me that scares the life out of me. Most days I struggle to see the light within myself, how can you expect me to help someone else see their own?"

"Because I know you. I know the compassion and love that drives you. And even though you're burying it as far down as it can go at the moment, it's still there. You just need to let it out, even if it hurts"

"Stefan, I can't…"

"How about you start giving yourself a little patience and kindness. And then we can focus on Damon" I smiled brightly as the memory of that morning by the waterfall came into my mind and those words he had spoken to me. _Patience and kindness_. I hadn't known him as well back then, and I'd only seen a glimpse at what a wonderful person he was. He had a way about him that soothed people, like the eye of a storm, and no matter what I was feeling, he could always calm me down, and make me see reason.

"Okay. I'll give it a shot"

 **A/N Thank you so much for all of you who have followed this sequel. It truly warms my heart to see more and more of you each day following me as an author and this story.**

 **Side note- I've been getting a lot of feedback from people who are worried there will be an Elena/Enzo cannon. I will be firm in saying this is strictly a DELENA only cannon, so please do not fret. Under no circumstances will Elena and Enzo's relationship evolve into anything romantic- he is simply a friend outside the vampire foursome for Elena to start enjoying herself with. Because Bonnie is** **NOT** **featured in this Fan Fiction (Nothing against the character for those who like her I just personally don't enjoy writing her) I think it's important for Elena to have an outlet outside Stefan, Caroline and Damon, especially a human one.**

 **Thanks again for your loyal readership and I hope you enjoy this and the coming chapters.**

 **P.S I will be on vacation for the next three weeks so I may no update until late August.**

 **Littledove xx**


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter Four- Let The Games Begin

It had been over a week since Damon had blown back into town, and I often found myself wishing that he had stayed lost. True to Stefan's warning, Damon had been making it his mission in life to make mine as miserable as possible, but in very concise and sneaky ways as to not violate his pact with Stefan. He was true to his word and showed me 'respect' in the workplace, but to be honest everything that came out of his mouth had a degrading undertone. Most days I fantasised about stapling things to his head but I knew that wouldn't get us anywhere. No, his cruel and teasing behaviour was generally reserved for the Manor which of course he denied any involvement in. First there was the mysterious disappearance of all of my clothes, then the spiking of vervain in my bottle of scotch. Next came replacing my blood bags with watered down animal blood, the complete removal of my toilet from my en suite, the destruction of my blackberry while I slept, a deer head in my bed and last and certainly worst: a college aged student who knocked on the door late at night while I was home alone with a severely bleeding neck. He had obviously done it in the hopes of tempting me into feeding from them and I think that one had shaken me to the core the most. The fact that he would put an innocent person's life in jeopardy and risk the chance of me losing control showed me just how far gone he truly was. Not only would a young person completely be stripped of their future but I would have an innocent's life on my hands. It was inconceivable, but unfortunately, that's the kind of person I was dealing with. Someone who used others as pawns for their twisted games, and it made me sick to my stomach to see the levels of depravity he was capable of. Katherine had certainly been a horrid mentor to him, and he was using every play in the vicious handbook to break me.

I had taken Stefan's advice to heart, and I had been trying to make more time for myself in the past week, _real time_ , to start healing myself and dealing with my transition in a healthy way, whatever the hell that meant. The more I started thinking about it, the more I realised how much I had been locking away, and if I continued down that path, if I continued masking and hiding my emotions behind work and other commitments, I was in danger of losing my humanity too, and regardless of how much pain I had to work through, that was an outcome I couldn't bear. Although Jeremy was hidden far away from the clutches of the mad wench Katherine, he would be starting college and beginning a new chapter of his life soon, and I knew I only had a handful of years with him before he began to realise that I wasn't aging. I didn't want to miss out on that. I despised the alternative of him being clued in on the supernatural. It seemed the moment this world was opened up to you, the likelihood of your untimely death or eventual transition was inevitable; that wasn't a life I wanted for him. If I couldn't go on and live a normal life, have kids, grow old; then the Gilbert legacy was left with him, and I wanted that life for him. I couldn't see Jeremy like this, I was barely passing as a vampire at the moment let alone a human, so I needed to figure out a way to move forward and spend the remaining passable years I had left with him. Stefan and I had talked at lengths the past few nights, and he truly was becoming a lifesaver for me. I loved Caroline dearly and she really was trying to help but Stefan had a way of explaining things to me so I could understand them. I had found that I was becoming increasingly defensive around Caroline, and I think her insistence of me 'moving on' had something to do with it. Stefan on the other hand knew that I needed to start working through things and rebuilding myself so that I could figure out what type of life I wanted to lead. Right now I barely knew what kind of scotch I wanted to drink, so the thought of determining what I 'might like to do with my eternity on earth' seemed like a bit of a stretch. I chose to start small: begin a journal and start my morning with yoga instead of scotch, and so far, it had been okay. It seemed a little juvenile to be writing 'Dear Diary" at my age, but I figured that even if I began with 'Today I had a meeting with the Dallas buyers and made it through the entire day without staking Damon' eventually the bigger stuff would start to pour out.

On the bright side, I had found a strong and reliable business colleague in Enzo, and as the days went on he was quickly become a comforting friend. I had taken him up on the offer of a hangout session and we had watched a football game at the grill. We decided to make it a Wednesday ritual, which led to a permanent 'Beers and ball" event in my diary. I really enjoyed his company. He was the only person in my life who didn't treat me like a fragile vampire who might break at any second or a scary CEO who you had to watch your every word around. We talked, about anything and everything, and I felt like his move to Mystic Falls was something that was meant to happen. He made me feel normal, and I was thankful to have an outsider who knew nothing of the inner workings at _Salvatore & Sons_ or the Manor. To him, I was just like any other person, and I think that's what I needed at the moment. Honestly, I had been so overcome with all the events of the last year that I think I had forgotten what it meant to simply be human and have _fun_. Even if it was just for one night a week, it was nice to just be a regular 24 year old girl- despite being anything but. Thanks to him, we were making excellent progress on the merger, and it even looked like we may achieve a deal ahead of schedule. That's if Damon chose to change his role from hindrance to helper, however I didn't see that as a likely outcome. We had a meeting with the sellers and the buyers at noon on Thursday and I was filled with excited anxiety for it. We hadn't all been in the same room together as of yet, and the smooth result of the meeting was vital in this deal going through on schedule if at all.

I hadn't slept a wink the night before in anticipation and I was on my eight coffee by 11am. Caroline entered my office with an arm full of paperwork to go through another important deal, and the grave look she shot me told me I was wearing my weariness a little too obviously.

"Here's the Milwaukee stuff you asked for. New York needs it signed and returned as soon as you can"

"Alright, I'm just going over notes for the meeting then I'll give it a quick look before I go down to twelve"

"You seem nervous" She commented lightly

"How could I not be?"

"It's just business Elena, it's not life or death"

"I know. It's just….important to me that I do a good job with this you know. I want to make sure Stefan knows he made the right decision by giving me this responsibility"

"I think you have proven that you are more than capable Elena" She smiled gently "How was last night? You got home late"

"Yeah I had a good time" I had purposely been giving her as little Intel as possible on mine and Enzo's friendship. I knew she would read too much into it and start putting emphasis on a blossoming romantic relationship. That was _not_ on the cards for either of us.

"He seems good for you" and for once, it surprised me to see there wasn't any innuendo behind her comment "He's a cool guy, it baffles me as to why he's single"

"He's extremely ambitious, I guess relationships tend to take the back seat with people like that" And I could totally understand why. Business was black and white, and relationships were a world of complicated grey.

"Yeah well, don't let that lifestyle brew in your head for too long. You're too much of a catch to be married to a job" My phone interrupted our conversation and I gave her a frustrated eye roll. I quite literally never stopped "Uh uh, you notes and signatures, me, phone!" She lifted the handle to my office phone and greeted the caller ever so sweetly. Her face was soon overcome with concern at the information she was hearing, "Wait Wait Wait, slow down…say that again" Concern turned to anger and I feared for the life of whoever was on the receiving end of that fury. She slammed the received down with brute force causing the contents of my desk to rattle. "You need to get your ass down to twelve….. _now_ "

"What?" I asked confused

"That was Enzo…he decided to get to the meeting early to set up for you and saw all eight of the GMs _leaving_ the conference room"

"What do you mean leaving? The meeting isn't until 12?" Her eyes bulged out at me and suddenly it all made sense.

"Oh you've got to be fucking _kidding_ me!" I roared, flying out of my desk and using vamp speed to high tail it to the elevator as quickly as I could. _He wouldn't_! As hard as I tried to calm myself on the twenty odd second drop from the CEO floor down to the twelfth floor, the hot burning fire of fury that was igniting in my stomach was moments away from devouring me completely. I had to be collected, I couldn't lose my temper, or I would have my first murder as a vampire on my hands. The doors finally opened, and due to the office workers I had to use my regular human pace to make it the fifty odd steps from the lift into our most extravagant meeting room in the building. I rounded the corner and saw Enzo standing with a grave look on his face leaning against the door, and that one look alone told me my fears had materialised. He could obviously see how irate I was because the unspoken pleading in his eyes told me I needed to calm down before I entered the room. Unfortunately for him, I was going in with guns blazing. I burst through the mahogany doors and saw a smug looking Damon in his favourite blue suit casually typing away on his laptop. _I was going to throttle him_.

"Elena. I was wondering where you were. Slept in did we?" He asked without looking up from his screen.

"I've been in my office Damon, preparing my notes for the meeting.."

"You mean the meeting you failed to show up to?" He shot back, still typing away "Tisk, tisk, not very appropriate behaviour for our Chief Executive"

"It was scheduled for 12 noon"

"Yes it _was_ , but yesterday it was moved up to 10.30am. Surely you got my email?" A low growl escaped my throat which was enough to draw his eyes from his computer up to me, still wearing his arrogant ass little smile. "I'm guessing you didn't then"

" _You son of a bitch_ "

"You know what, come to think of it, I think I may have accidently sent it to your _old_ PA address. My mistake boss, won't happen again"

"You purposely changed this meeting so I would miss it"

"I did nothing of the sort and I am grossly offended at the accusation Miss Gilbert" He blinked innocently "But you know, come to think of it, it was probably a good thing you weren't here. You see, they're old-school traditional kind of players; they tend to prefer dealing with business _men_ , not…well….little girls dressing up and playing pretend" He was so satisfied with himself in this moment, and I had to remind myself that he was using every opportunity that arose to try and bring me down. But I wouldn't let him, not like this.

"I want you to enjoy this moment Damon" I spat at him, causing a look of confusion to creep over his face "You got me. Congratulations. But mark my words, it _will not_ happen again" He looked more amused then fearful of my threat and I knew I could count on his cockiness. Cockiness led to complacency and complacency lead to mistakes. If you constantly underestimated people then eventually they will get the better of you, and that's exactly what I planned to do. He lifted his feet up to place them on the desk and crossed his arms behind his head to show that he wasn't scared and was in fact, quite happy with himself.

"That's adorable" He grinned. My hands curled into a fist and I knew if I didn't turn my back and get out of that room as quick as possible I was likely to rip a chunk of wood from the door and drive it straight through his heart. I exhaled in frustration and made my way out of the room as quickly as possible. Enzo was waiting for me outside the room and followed as I made my way back to the lift

"What an absolute fucking asshole!" He huffed as we both entered and the doors closed

"I just….cant…..even…" My mind was still lost in anger and the idea of attempting to have a civilised conversation with him was too much for me right now

"Call me after lunch when you're done with the important stuff. I'm taking you out to the Grill and we are going to do the only thing that will make you feel better: eat a fuck tonne of chicken wings and get good and drunk" That did sound pretty great, and I smiled in appreciation at him before waving goodbye as he exited the lift onto his floor. I knew Damon was hell bent on destroying me but this, _this_ , was such a blatant and obvious attack that I was surprised he'd undertake such an endeavour that would threaten his deal with Stefan. He was playing dirty now though, and I, well…I would have to start doing the same.

Caroline was waiting for me when I got back up to her floor and I had managed to calm myself down a little by that point. She looked relieved that I wasn't covered in blood, being just as surprised as I was that I managed to leave the meeting room without Damon's decapitated head in my hands. She followed me into my office, eagerly waiting for me to tell her what had happened.

"The meeting time was changed" I told her as I sat back down in my chair and woke up my computer " _He sent me an email_ "

"Like _hell_ he did!" Caroline screeched as she began pacing back and forth on the spot "The _nerve_ of him. GOD! I could just kill him!"

"I honestly don't know how I didn't" I admitted to her, rubbing my face with my hands in frustration

"And I thought he was bad before. God, he was like a moody little puppy dog compared to this…this…. _ASSHOLE_!" I laughed deeply at my best friend. She truly was one scary woman when she was angry, and I had half the mind to set her loose on him. "That's it….I mean….the stuff at the house is one thing but this is just crossing the line"

"Stefan warned me that this was going to happen Caroline. I just need to step up my game and try to be a few steps ahead of him"

"The only steps that are going to satisfy me are ones over his grave" I laughed again at her murderous rage towards the man formally known as Damon Salvatore before letting my eyes dart to the email notification ding from my computer. _Son of a bitch_ , what did he want now.

 _Sender: Damon Salvatore_

 _Subject: I'm sorry…_

What was he playing at now. I rolled my eyes in anticipation of the content of the email and clicked my mouse on it furiously.

 _I'm sorry…_

 _To tell you, but_ _I always win._

He emailed me just to…..before my brain could finish the sentence a smiling face bomb type image appeared on my screen before exploding. I jumped slightly at the unexpected image before noticing that my screen had gone completely blank. I clicked the mouse repeatedly and tried turning the monitor on and off but there was…..nothing. _Great,_ it was going to be one of those days….

Caroline and I were completely stumped how Damon had managed to send the type of virus that would completely blow up my computer, but somehow, he had done it. She got Keith from the IT department to set me up with a new computer within the hour but whatever virus he had sent had somehow hacked into the server and completely erased every email and every document I had stored on my account. As angry as I was, a part of me was a little impressed at the little stunt. I never would have thought to do something like that, nor had any idea how to pull it off. Regardless, I simply had to take it in my stride and move forward. There was nothing I could do to retrieve it all, and I just had to put it down to another loss. He had a few too many on the scoreboard now for my liking, and I vowed that today would be the last time he would make a fool of me.

I had given up on the day at around 4.30 and called Enzo to let him know I was ready to take him up on his offer of chicken wings and beer. Caroline had surprisingly decided to tag along and I had a feeling the events of today had frustrated her just as much as they had me. The three of us walked into the Mystic Grill a little before 5 o'clock and decided to sit at the bar because all the booths were full. Ordinarily I liked to keep my alcohol consumption to a minimum when I was in a public place considering my recent promotion to the head of such a large company, but after today, I was ready to break that rule and get as many stiff beverages into my system in a short amount of time as I possibly could. Enzo ordered a beer while Caroline and I both ordered two tequila shots each with a side of champagne for her and a malt whiskey on the rocks for me. Enzo laughed loudly as Caroline and I both threw our shots back and sighed in unison as the burn of the liquor hit our throats.

"Please remind me never to get into a drinking contest with either of you" Enzo chuckled to himself, and these days at the rate I was drinking he'd die before I'd even got half a buzz on

"I think we've earnt it after today" Caroline responded, ordering another shot from the bartender and throwing it back the same as the others. I couldn't quite comprehend how someone could make taking a shot look elegant, but somehow, Caroline Forbes pulled it off. "I am honestly still debating murdering him"

"Who…Salvatore?"

"Hmm hmm"

"I don't really think killing the former CEO and part owner of the company you work for is such a great idea Caroline. But I like the energy you're throwing off" Enzo laughed. "He did pull an absolute doozy with that meeting though"

"And the virus" Caroline chimed in

"What virus?"

"Elena didn't tell you?" Caroline asked while Enzo shook his head. Caroline rolled up the sleeve of her blazer and had her 'girl let me tell you some gossip' look plastered all over her face. "He sent a goddamn _virus_ to her email that not only broke her computer but completely wiped everything from her server!"

"You're kidding me!?" Enzo squawked

"Like seriously what is he going to do next? Unleash a pack of wild dogs in your office to maul you?"

"I think he has a little more tact than that" I chuckled in response

"Really? Because honestly after today I'd call his warfare pretty freaking blatant!" Caroline huffed and took a moment to catch her breath. She really was amazing when she was defending me "Honestly, you wait until Stef hears about this. Damon signed on the dotted line and his employment contract stipulates that he is to treat his superiors with the integrity and respect that their job titles command.."

"I don't know why you're surprised Caroline, it's not like he was ever going to abide by that, especially considering his old assistant is now his boss. His ego is massively bruised. For men like that, power is the most important tool in their arsenal, and when that is taken away, they get vindictive" Enzo told

"Sounds like you're speaking from experience" She teased

"Unfortunately I have come across many like him in my years in the corporate world. It's a particularly nasty type of beast that is quite common the higher you get to the top"

"Alright well, how do we beat him?" Caroline asked

"Beats me" Enzo laughed "I say we revisit your murder idea. Seems like a more viable option now that this beer is hitting my system" We all chortled in unison and for the first time that day, I began to feel the stress lifting from my shoulders. It was comforting knowing that I wasn't in this battle alone, I was slowly building my army up, and by the sounds of it they were more than willing to help me fight. "You seem a little too calm about the entire thing boss lady. What's bouncing around that brilliant head of yours?"

I took a quick swig of my drink before answering "He may have won the battle. But I promise you….I will win the war" Bright smiles crept over both Enzo and Caroline's face at my choice of words and we all cheersed before finishing our drinks. Enzo ordered another round for the three of us and Caroline excused herself to call Stefan, no doubt begging him to fire his brother and give her permission to beat him up. Angry Caroline was a hurricane and I thanked the lord she was on my side.

"So have you at least found out how the meeting went?"

"No. Between my computer dying and losing every document, email and contact on there I haven't been able to. I texted Stefan to see if he could contact the GMs but I hadn't heard back from him"

"Considering it's been us who have been killing ourselves to get this thing pushed through its pretty piss weak of Damon to pull a stunt like this. I bet he's basking in his glory right now. _Twat_ " He commented

"Oh don't take it personally. It's nothing to do with anyone but me"

"He's got balls, that much is for sure. I mean, there is no way in hell I would ever go up against you in a fight"

"What? Come on, I'm nothing special"

"Elena come on. You have one of the sharpest business minds I have ever come across, I knew it the instant I met you at the New York office. Not only are you crazy intelligent but you have killer instincts when it comes to this stuff. You make the job of a CEO look like child's play. I have no idea why you were wasting your talents as a Personal Assistant. You're destined for so much more…you just need to stop doubting yourself"

"Well if it isn't our esteemed CEO Elena Gilbert and her errand boy…..what was your name again…Enya?" I had felt him standing behind me before he opened his mouth. It was almost like a sixth sense I had developed now, and I felt so irate that he seemed to have a sixth sense of his own when it came to me: Find out when Elena was relaxed and enjoying herself, swoop in and ruin her day. Well he'd done enough of that for a 24 hour period and I didn't quite care for him to do anymore

"Damon, we've known each other for about 3 years mate, you know what my name is" Enzo replied calmly.

"Yeah…Enya" Damon repeated slyly. He really was an _ass_. "Going a bit heavy on the scotch there boss, hard day at the office?"

"An unruly subordinate. Nothing I can't handle" I smiled darkly avoiding his gaze. I would not engage in this. It only fuelled him.

"I'm sure you can't" He hailed down the bartended and ordered himself the exact same drink that I was now clutching a little too tightly in my hands "So you guys are talking shop huh, mind if I join?"

"Actually this is a private conversation Damon…" I shot back at him as calmly as I could manage. There was no way in hell or high water that he was taking a seat at this bar, and if he knew what was good for him he would get out of here before Caroline returned from her phone call. If she caught one look at him this afternoon she was likely to rip his balls off.

"Oh I bet it is" He smirked at me before directing his attention to Enzo "Play your cards right buddy and she'll be sucking your cock by 6. Elena here has a history of fucking colleagues. She might be mediocre in the sack but at least she tries hard…"

"That's enough" Enzo warned immediately. His tone was firm but non-aggressive "I think it's time you left"

"Or what?"

"Or I'm going to be forced to escort you out myself"

"Why? We're just having a friendly chat…"

"No, Elena and I were having a friendly chat….you interrupted us with your overtly patronising and repulsively rude bullshit. I don't care if we're outside work hours and you have a bee in your bonnet about your past relationship, she's still your boss mate and it's about time you show her some bloody respect" I saw the side of Damon's mouth twitch and I didn't like where this was going.

"Who the fuck do you think you are speaking to me like that….do you have any idea who I am?"

"Yeah I do. You're a spoilt little prat who up until a few months ago had a pretty cushy job at his daddy's company until you up and left to go gallivanting around doing god knows what with god knows who. Meanwhile, Elena here stepped up to the plate and took over the responsibility that you ran away from. And now what? Your poor little ego is hurt that your former assistant is capable enough to not only take over your job but actually do it better than you? Get over it mate. You're like a pathetic little kid who didn't want to play with a toy until you threw it away and someone else started having fun with it. And while we're at it, if you _ever_ talk about Elena like she's nothing more than a conniving whore in my presence again; I'll punch your head in" Damon's eyes started projecting the darkness that I knew came before either a bite or a swing, and I immediately knew I needed to defuse the situation before it got out of hand. Enzo was standing up for me, and god love him for it, but he truly didn't know _what_ he was dealing with. Damon could rip his beating heart from his chest in under a second flat and not even break a sweat, and I couldn't bear someone getting hurt because of the vendetta that Damon had against me.

"Alright that's enough. _Damon_ , you're leaving.." It wasn't a question, and as I stood up and grabbed his arm tightly he knew I was serious. I was still quite new and it meant that at the moment I was stronger than him, and now was the perfect time to use it to my advantage. I dragged him by his forearm out to the parking lot and took pleasure in the fact that he couldn't break out of my grip. Once we were outside in the cool air and I felt confident enough that he wouldn't lunge back in at Enzo I let him out of my hold….and boy did he look unimpressed. It was immensely satisfying.

"Don't you _ever_ do that to me again" He growled at me

"It's not nice is it? Call it karma for all the times you've done it to me asshole" I shot back at him "Now get out of here Damon." 

"Why? Am I ruining your date with Prince Dickwad of England?"

"Oh grow the hell up Damon" I scoffed turning my back on him but he followed my footsteps, hell bent on stepping on my last nerve

"No I get it. You've already screwed your way to the throne and now you need to secure the crown. Are you noticing a pattern here Elena because I sure am. What next, are you gonna move in on Stefan and start cutting Caroline's grass?"

"So what if I'm screwing Enzo?" He looked at me strangely for a few seconds, almost like I caught him off guard

"You admit it then?"

"What do you care? You left. Was I supposed to wait around patiently for you to flip the switch back on your humanity?" I was a terrible liar, and even insinuating that I was sleeping with Enzo made me feel sick to my stomach. But screw him. He continued to stare blankly at me for a few seconds before regaining his composure.

"Smart girl, cos that's _never_ going to happen" He smirked darkly but oddly avoiding eye contact with me. We stood in uncomfortable silence for a few moments before he finally turned and disappeared into the night.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter Five- Thaw

I was overly apologetic to Enzo about Damon's behaviour, and even though I knew I was no way responsible for it, I somehow still felt accountable for him and I didn't understand why. The old him maybe, but this new asshole? No way in hell. Regardless, there was going to be no resolution tonight, plus I had honestly had just about enough of this dreadful Thursday as I could handle. Caroline had opted to stay for a few more drinks with a now calm Enzo and I had a sneaking suspicion she wanted to thank him with booze for standing up for me the way that he had. I felt like I should have been a little bit more thankful toward him myself but I just didn't have the energy tonight. It was strange that such cutting words coming from the man who used to adore more didn't cut me as deeply as they should, but somehow in the past week I had become almost immune to his cruelty.

I was relieved pulling into the driveway of the Manor that Stefan's car was the only one at the house. I knew Damon would eventually be home but right now, his presence would threaten to push me over the edge. It had been a big day, and I prayed to whatever god there was that I would be able to find some slumber tonight, even just for a few hours. Everything was tired: my mind, my body and especially my soul, and I craved some decent sleep. As I stepped inside the large entrance, I immediately saw Stefan's eyes on me from the lounge. I waved mindlessly, not having the energy for a conversation with him, but the motioning of his hands told me I wasn't going to slip into my bedroom so easily. He would know about the events at the office today and he would want to deconstruct it piece by piece, which I did not have the energy for. But I was trapped between a rock and a hard place, it would be rude to ignore him and go straight to bed, so instead, I followed his gesture and sat opposite him on the plush couch.

"You look like hell" He greeted, handing me a glass of scotch from the lavish Salvatore collection and waving for me to drink up

"I feel even worse" I offered following his command and tipping the entire contents down my dry throat. He gently took the glass from my grasp and re-filled it before I had the opportunity to ask for another "So you're all clued in on today?"

"Yeah, Caroline gave me the run down of what happened after the meeting. It's completely unacceptable…"

"I could have killed him Stefan. I honestly could have killed him with my bare hands. And then after work at the grill, he showed up and started spurting his usual nonsense and I just…." I had to stop myself before I got too fired up again. The last thing I needed was adrenaline running through my veins… I would have no hope of sleep. "I rue the day you ever convinced me to take this job" It was meant as a joke to lighten the mood, but the ripple effect of concern that erupted across his face told me he took it a little too seriously.

"I think, you need a break"

"Yeah you're right. I might look into getting out of town for a weekend…."

"No Elena. Like, right now. Two, maybe three weeks. I'll give you the jet, fly somewhere, clear your head…"

"What?"

"I think it would be good for you"

"I can't go anywhere right now, work is…"

"Still going to be there when you get back. I'll fill in with Caroline's help or get Damon…."

"Over my dead body is Damon going to cover me while I take a forced vacation" I said with a deep growl. The grasp I had around my scotch glass suddenly caused it to shatter all over the floor and the deep cut it left on the inside of my palm began aching. Stefan's eyes pleaded with me empathetically as he took a handkerchief from his top pocket, knelt down and applied pressure to my gushing wound

"This is _exactly_ why you need a break Elena" He told in an overly soothing tone "This anger that I'm seeing in you, it's beginning to frighten me."

"I have spent the last week being tormented by a sadistic asshole, I think a little anger is normal"

"Sure, but not this. This isn't reactive anger, it's a deep seeded quiet type that just brews and brews over time." Stefan took a large breath through his nose and closed his eyes for a moment before reopening them to look at me. He had such a sadness on his face that perplexed me "I've seen what happens to vampires with this kind of anger Elena. If you keep going down this path…if you keep rejecting every emotion you feel and cling to anger instead, you're at risk of flipping your switch"

"Wait a minute. _I_ get harassed and tormented by _Damon_ yet I am the one that is in the wrong.."

" _This_ is exactly what I'm talking about Elena! You're fixating….fixating on your anger towards him…and if you're not careful it's going to consume you"

"You're insane. There's nothing wrong with me…"

"I've been a little better at keeping my mouth shut than Caroline has, but we have both noticed a significant decline in your wellbeing in the past few months"

"Well I'm sorry that I'm not living up to your standards of immortality" I growled

"Elena just breathe, okay. Take a deep breath, realise that I am not criticising you, I am trying to help you"

"Well stop trying!" I screamed at him as I lifted myself to my feet. "I'm _fine!"_ How dare he? I was the one on the receiving end of this, and somehow Damon came out smelling like roses in his eyes and I was the unstable one? Oh yeah let's just give the viciously cruel humanity-less vampire his job back and force the person who has been slaving her ass for the past few months covering for him to take time off. I couldn't believe what I was hearing. He was so ungrateful. I had been killing myself for him, worrying my self sick the last few months that I wasn't doing a good enough job for him and how he was forcing me to take time off. He was just as bad as his brother. Stefan and I hadn't even noticed that our conversation had not been private for the last few moments until Damon's laughter could be hear echoing through the house. My blood began boiling at the sound and the repulsion coursing through my body at the mere sight of his glib face nearly caused me to vomit. I hated him, I hated everything about him especially that laugh. I was so concerned with the red aura of fury that overcame my senses that I hadn't observed the slight woman standing at his side, but to my credit she was so petite that the arm Damon had around her was nearly completely concealing her.

"Sorry….are we interrupting something?" He smirked, tightening the grip around the girl. My eyes roamed her figure, and I felt a huge stab in my heart when I saw just how striking she was. After everything he had done to me; tormenting me, insulting me, degrading me, discrediting me…now, he was bringing a girl home to flaunt in front of me. This was the straw that _would_ break the camel's back. I felt like I was spinning out of control. All of my senses were distorted, and all I could see was how much I hated himS and how much worse my life had become since he had come into it. My body was moving before I could comprehend what I was doing, and by the time I reached him, I barely realised that my hand had curled into a fist and struck him hard in the face until a sharp ache spread across my knuckles and he went flying off his feet. I hadn't used my vampire strength before in a fight, hell, I'd never used my human strength before in a fight, and I was shocked to see just how far across the room Damon flung back. The waif who had been standing beside him started screaming, and her high pitched shriek caused my eyes to widen and well with sudden realisation of what I had done. I could feel tears starting to form, the hot wet sting of the waterworks that were pushing at the threshold and threatening to burst, but I couldn't do it here, I wouldn't do it here, I had to get away, as far away from this house and this situation and this life as I could…so I ran. I ran out the door and across the cobblestone driveway leading to the Manor and through the parted entrance to the woods that surrounded the majestic home. The sharp branches of the white pine trees bristled hard against my face as I dashed between them and although I knew from the heavy cover of trees and complete darkness that I was deep into the woods now, it still didn't feel far enough away. Something inside me had cracked, the wall I had been erecting with such diligence over the past few months was falling apart, and I didn't want to handle it, I didn't know how to handle it. The ground beneath me started to dip and my foot caught on a solid object of some sort which sent my body hurdling out of control down the steep decline of the hill ahead. I tumbled and turned and flew through the air like a pinball, hitting rock after rock and tree after tree. After what felt like an hour in freefall I finally rolled to a stop at the bottom on the hill and slammed hard into an elk tree. My body felt completely broken; the pain and bruising from the fall, the cuts on my cheek from rushing past the sharp pine tree branches and the cut and bruising on my hand from the glass I had broken and the punch I delivered, physically, I was in a bad way. But that was nothing compared to the wave I felt pushing against the wall. Physical pain I could handle, it let you know that you were alive, but _this_ , the tsunami of emotion I had kept concealed for so long, five months' worth of heartache that had been buried…that would kill you. I pushed back as hard as I could, I used every fibre in my being to prevent it from breaking, but as I lay there on the cold wet ground in the middle of nowhere, I suddenly felt it. I felt _everything_. The tears I had forced myself to hold in at the Manor were now flowing free and I began hyperventilating in agony as the force of my emotion began crushing me, and for the first time since my transition, I knew what I had been running from: Guilt. The death of my aunt who I never properly grieved; the horror I felt for resenting her for dying and forcing me to have to give up my academic career to take care of my brother; the devastating depression that consumed Jeremy after her death and the death of my parents that I couldn't help him through; having him compelled to leave town because I fell in love with the wrong person; losing one of my best friends because I wanted to protect her; the end of Caroline's human life, the end of my own human life; all the hopes and dreams I had had for the future, to finish college, to marry to love of my life, to have three beautiful children together, live in a house similar to my parents, watch them grow up and start lives of their own, none of which could happen now that I was a vampire; forever being frozen and never moving forward; and last but not least, Damon. Hating myself in the beginning for falling for such an egotistical asshole; falling in love even more when I saw the soft and loving man he hid underneath it; how much of myself I sacrificed to help him; how much I loved him and how wonderful it felt for him to love me in return; waking up and finding out that my death had been the trigger that made him flip the switch: it was all tied together. I wept and I screamed at how answerable and guilt-ridden my soul was for everything that had happened, and now I finally understood what Stefan had warned me about. All of this, the extremely exquisite pain, I had been running from it, but I couldn't run anymore. Deep down I blamed myself for all of it: Jeremy, Caroline and especially Damon, and I had done the exact same thing after my transition as he had. I honed in on my perceived hatred for him, but really, it was killing me that I couldn't help him. And now, now that it was coming back, now that I was allowing myself to experience every tiny little thing, I felt even guiltier than I had turned my back on him when he had returned. I loved him, I loved him more than anything, and instead of confronting myself, I had acted out against him. He wasn't the same man I knew right now, I knew that. He was the darkest possible version of himself. And instead of giving him the patience and kindness that I promised Stefan I would, the same patience and kindness that Damon would give me, instead of following him into the depths of hell and dragging him back, I had given up. I had given up on everything. But most of all, I had given up on myself. My screams quietened down and the ghostly quiet of the woods was almost soothing to my loud and chaotic brain. I couldn't move, I didn't know how to. All I could do was lay there and bask in the grandeur of the pain.

I couldn't tell you how many hours I had laid at the foot of that elk tree weeping, but as the orange sparks of daylight cracked through the thick hooded branches, I knew it was a new day, and I knew I had the ability to face it all now. There is a safety in protecting your heart and your mind from the cruelness of the world, but the words I had whispered to Damon so long ago kept creeping back into my mind. Turning off your emotions protects you from feeling the bad emotions, but it also stops you from experiencing the good, and as of today, I was ready to feel them all again. I couldn't do it all at once, it was too much to take in, but step by step I was ready to take the horrible with the wonderful, and although it would be hard, it would be worth it. The idea of going back to the Manor terrified me to my core. The thought of bumping into Damon and his delicate little waif the morning after their rendezvous, but I needed to get myself cleaned up and showered, and unfortunately, the Manor was my only option. I was too injured to vamp speed back home and the long trudge through the woods let me know just how far I had travelled last night. It took me another hour and a half to finally reach the clearing in the trees that separated the woods and the house, and as it came into view I thought that it was much wilder inside there than it was in the wilderness. All four cars were in the driveway so it was a full house, and I hoped to god that they were all still asleep.

I crept through the door as quiet as a mouse and tiptoed my way upstairs to the safety of my bedroom. I was ordinarily in the office by now, but I needed a long hot shower and maybe even an hours nap before I had enough gumption to go in. I felt so drained mentally, but strangely awoken as well, and for the first time since my transition: I felt like somewhat like the person I was before my death. I had just kicked off my shoes when there was a knock at my door before it opened. My back was still turned, and I didn't need to look to know it was him

"Nice of you to grace us with your presence. Stefan and Queen B have been out looking for you all night" It surprised me that the sound of his voice no longer irritated me, I found it almost, soothing in a way, like I used to. I turned around to face him and observed the shock on his face when I did "Jesus Christ Elena what happened to you? Are you alright?" His feet moved a few steps towards me before he caught himself and stopped.

"I'm okay, I fell, that's all" I smiled weakly. He almost sounded, _concerned_ that I was injured, but perhaps he was just surprised. I could only imagine how horrible I looked. "I didn't mean to worry anyone"

"Yeah well…just call them. They're calling me every ten seconds to ask if you've come home and it's starting to really piss me off" The alarm in his voice had disappeared and it was back to being monotone. He turned to exit the room but I had something I needed to do before he left. I knew in his current state it wouldn't mean anything to him, but it was important for me to get it out.

"Damon?" I called after him, startled when he actually stopped and turned back to face me "I owe you an apology….for last night. I never should have hit you, it was wrong and completely out of line. I'm really sorry and I hope you will be able to forgive me" He stared at me, stared right down into my soul and for the first time since he came back into town, I felt a tinge of electricity prickle over my skin.

"No, I shouldn't have brought….."He stopped himself before he finished his sentence, and the hitch in his breathing told me that he was frustrated with himself for some reason "What I mean is….it's fine…..just….don't do it again or I'll rip your head off" _And_ he was back. Although it was a semi threat there was a tinge of humour in his voice and I found myself smiling a little too widely at him "I mean it…I'll rip it right off"

"It won't" We nodded at each other and I felt some kind of unspoken understanding between us. He once again turned his back to walk out of my bedroom before stopping a step before the door

"Go downstairs and drink a few blood bags…..it will heal you right up" He told from over his shoulder before disappearing out the door.

And just like that, Damon and I had experienced our first civil conversation since his return.

 **A/N Thank you again for all your wonderful reviews and feedback. With each day I'm seeing more and more of you following the sequel and it makes me super happy**

 **I've had a lot of reviews complaining that this 'version' of Damon is more horrible than you expected. His humanity is off- of course he is horrible- but isn't it going to make it so much more enjoyable when we he turns it back on? Think about how glorious a beautiful sunny day is after two weeks of thunderstorms.**

 **I've also had some feedback that Elena doesn't seem to love Damon anymore, and I hope after this Chapter that has been cleared up. I have been building up to her thawing her emotions back out. I can promise you that she always has loved him, it's just been buried.**

 **Littledove**


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter Six- Bridges

"ELENA!" Caroline snapped at me, shaking me out of my thoughts and scaring me half to death "Can you _please_ get off your phone for one second and at least act a _little_ bit excited" It was the first Sunday off I had had in over four months, and instead of relaxing at home in a bubble bath or reading a book at the downtown café, Caroline had somehow roped me into shopping with her. It was no secret that my fashionista abilities were borderline pathetic and the idea of spending an entire day in search of the 'perfect' dress for the upcoming _Miss Mystic Falls_ pageant made me want to run for the hills. But Caroline Forbes was my best friend, and somehow, I always ended up doing the things that she wanted to do. It was all part of her arm twisting charm. Wearing an uncomfortable dress and heels while reliving our glory days at the town beauty pageant wasn't exactly my ideal Saturday afternoon, but this year I was given the honour of presenting the new queen with her crown. I still often felt a tinge of animosity from Caroline at this time of year, I had beaten her for the title in our sophomore year and she had never really gotten over it. It had been the only real fight we had ever had in our friendship. One that I still to this day liked to tease her about every so often. "I'm thinking I might go for a nice and subtle colour like electric blue or burnt orange"

"Care, there is nothing subtle about either of those colours" I chuckled, watching her flip her fingers over the formal rack in _Darlas's Boutique_ "What's wrong with one of the thousand dresses you already own?"

"I've already worn them. And besides, this is mine and Stefan's first official event as a _couple_ and I want to look like a knockout"

"You could wear your pyjamas and achieve that sweetie" I told her, causing a soft blush to spread across her cheek. "You're lucky you are attending as guests and not in an _official work capacity_ "

"Oh come on it's going to be fun! You have to spend a few minutes announcing the girls and their escorts and then a little while later announce the winners. You'll be done and free to drink champagne and enjoy the frivolities with the rest of us"

"I guess you're right. It might be nice to get out of the house for an evening"

"You are _way_ overdue to have a little fun missy, although I must admit, you've been pretty cheerful lately"

"Cheerful?" I laughed at her choice of words

"Well….just….less, miserable I guess" She smirked brightly. I had noticed the difference within myself lately, and it seemed she had as well. And although I knew I still had a long road to travel on my way to self-fulfilment and moving forward with my future, I was taking the right steps to get there. My progress with myself was encouraging and steady; my progress with Damon however was a different story. I had been doing a lot of thinking about it lately, and Stefan's advice on healing myself before I could begin healing him was completely spot on. I realised that however much I loved him, I had become consumed by our relationship when I was a human which is why I completely rejected my transition when he was gone. In the last days of my humanity so much of my identity was wrapped up in him that it was no wonder I didn't know who I was as a vampire. It was important for me now to work on my career (in a healthy way), maybe even start studying again on the side and rediscover my own passions separate from him. But that didn't mean that I couldn't try at every opportunity to thaw the ice sculpture that he had become, it just meant that my wellbeing was my priority, and that didn't mean I loved him any less, it just meant that I needed to start loving myself more. "Hello? Earth to Elena" I had completely zoned out from Caroline and had not even realised she was talking to me. She stood holding up a black lace dress with her impatient hand on her tiny waist "What do you think?"

"It's absolutely gorgeous….it just seems a little too, plain for you" I commented. Caroline could pull off almost any dress on the planet, but she tended to gravitate towards more show stopping numbers. And this, well, this dress was absolutely stunning, but it lacked the vava voom she was known for.

"Oh it is, but for _you_ it's absolutely perfect. Simple yet sophisticated" I usually hated her thrusting clothes into my face, but I had to hand it to her, this dress was perfect for me.

"I actually love it" I gushed

"Well try it on….we don't have all day!" She ordered. I often had to remind her that technically I was in fact her boss, not the other way around. It seemed to fall on deaf ears though. I took the hanger from her hands and made my way into the change rooms, followed eagerly behind by an impatient looking Caroline. "So now that we potentially have a dress…..I think it's important we get you a date"

"Huh?" I asked, not quite hearing her from the other side of the curtain

"A _date!_ As much as I love you I don't want you third wheeling with Stefan and I all night…."

"But you're my safety blanket!" I joked, eliciting a scoff from her

"You're too hot to go stag to an event like this"

"Well actually, I was thinking about asking Damon" I told as I began zipping up the back of the dress. The fitting room fell silent. I knew she would be completely opposed to the idea, but I thought it might be a good chance to dig around inside his head and see exactly what I was working with. Since the morning at the Manor when he had seemed concerned that I was injured, his mission to take me down had cooled down slightly, and I took that as a sign of hope. He was still very much an unemotional robot with nothing but his own self-interests in mind but I hoped that with some consistence effort we could become friends and go from there. How well my plan would work was unknown but I at least had to try.

"Please tell me that was just a terrible joke" I finished zipping the dress and walked out of the fitting room. Her face was unimpressed and slightly horrified.

"What do you think?" I asked, swirling around on the spot

"I think you better answer my goddamn question"

"I meant about the dress" I smirked

"Stunning, you're getting it. Now stop deflecting and _tell_ me that you are kidding about asking that horrible excuse of a man to the pageant"

"He's not a horrible excuse for a man…" I defended, causing her eyebrow to curve "Fine he's pretty horrible right now but that's not him"

"Elena…"

"Besides things have been well….okay…between us lately and I thought this might be a chance to work on our friendship"

" _FRIENDSHIP!"_ She shrieked "You want to be _friends_ with your ex-boyfriend who is currently operating without a soul?"

"Shh" I hushed, noticing that the increase in her pitch had garnered attention from the shop assistants

"No, No, I don't like this one bit."

"Well you don't have to like it Caroline but it's my decision"

"Okay let's just say that you do ask him and he even says yes…do you really think that he's going to spend an entire night being _nice_ to you? Especially considering the entire town is going to be there?"

"Maybe" I shrugged

"I just feel like you're setting yourself up for something horrible Lena. It's taken months for you to get back to a normal version of yourself and I'm worried that he's going to ruin that the second that you give him the opportunity to" I gave her an understanding smile, it was something that I had been considering a lot lately as well "He is cunning at the moment, which means he is capable of just about anything. And I worry that he is going to use the feelings you have for him to his own sick and twisted advantage"

"Oh I'm counting on it" I told "Care, I know you're worried. I am so lucky to have you in my life watching out for me and if I haven't said it enough lately I appreciate everything you do for me. But I have to do this. I'm the key to making him flip the switch, I know it, and I promise you I'm not going to go in there with my eyes closed and expect that if I tell him I love him he's going to come back because that's just not realistic. But I have to _try_. Because if the shoe were on the other foot…"

"He would do it for you….blah blah blah" It was my turn to furrow my brow at her now which elicited a deep frustrated breath my her chest "Well the shoe isn't on the other foot and the one in the firing line is my best friend so excuse me for trying to save you from the bullet"

"That was like two different metaphors all in one" I laughed at her

"Just….be careful Elena. I know you're suddenly on a mission to get him back but don't lose yourself in the process okay?"

"Okay" I smiled.

It was Wednesday, and Enzo and I had kept our agreement of weekly wing night. Work had been surprisingly drama free of late, and considering everything that I had been through in the last few years, and the last few months in particular, I found myself constantly waiting for the other shoe to drop. Katherine was nowhere in sight, Jeremy was doing amazing in school and had gotten quite a few scholarship offers for next fall, the merger was going extremely well and although he was still an emotionless rock Damon had actually been a pretty amazing help. I hated feeling like such a pessimist but I was conditioned to be prepared for the fall out that was due to happen at any minute. I was finishing up my last meeting of the day and I had come to feel a quiet confidence in my ability to lead the team. If you had told me a year ago that I would be the interim head of one of the largest companies in the continental US I would have told you that you were insane, but I felt a natural ability to succeed in this type of industry, and it was exhilarating. Damon was in the meeting today and he had been in a receptive enough mood that I decided it would be the perfect opportunity to ask if he wanted to attend the pageant with me. Caroline had been incessantly harping at me to reconsider since our shopping trip on Sunday, but I had a good feeling about it and hoped to prove her wrong. I concluded the meeting and was relieved to see Damon was still typing away on his laptop at the desk and hadn't moved to leave right away as some of the other execs had. I was nervous, and why shouldn't I be, I was basically voluntarily getting in bed with the devil; but I had come to terms with the fact that this endeavour wasn't going to be easy, and I would no doubt have both wins and loses along the way.

"Damon" I finally mustered up the courage to say "How are we looking on the taxable income for the last seven financial years?"

"No luck yet. I have a few more phone calls to make before I resort to flying down there and compelling the accountant" He could feel the shock I was projecting at his response and he finally looked up from his screen and gave me a sarcastic look "I'm kidding"

" _God_ , well, alright…just keep me updated"

"Will do _boss_ " He responded as he moved from his chair and began packing up his station. I knew it was now or never, but the coward inside of me was begging me to reconsider. The worst thing he could do was to say no, but I think a part of me was even more scared that he would say yes. A yes would give me hope, and hope was a dangerous thing. His head moved so his chin was now resting on his left shoulder and his eyes gave me a look that told him he was a little annoyed that I was watching him so anxiously. "Something else I can help you with?"

Everything inside me was screaming to turn and walk out the door; every fibre inside my being and every instinct I had was yelling that this was an incredibly stupid idear and for my own best interest I needed to abandon it. But I reluctantly ignored them as I took a deep breath and prepared the speech I had practiced so many times in my head over the past few days "Yeah actually um….I was….well…"

"Spit it out Elena I don't have all day" He groaned, tired of my inability to speak in this moment

"I was wondering if you were busy on Saturday…" I finally managed to say. My fingers curled into a nervous fist and I noticed how much sweat had built up in the centre of my palms. The impending No was lingering in the air, I could tell, and I just needed to remind myself that it wasn't the end of the world. Embarrassing and a little heart breaking yes; but I could handle it.

"Come on Elena…..please tell me you're not going to force me to work. I've been a good little boy lately and have been on my _best_ behaviour. I think that warrants me the weekend to myself"

"No…no…it's not _work_ , well, kind of, but not really…" I mumbled. Come on, I wasn't this person. This person who couldn't even ask a simple question in the fear of being turned down. I was the one in control of my life and my emotions, and regardless of the outcome he wasn't going to change that. I inhaled again, steading myself, and trying to conjure the confidence that I knew was buried somewhere inside. "I've been asked to present the crown at the Miss Mystic Falls pageant on Saturday. I was wondering if you would like to attend it….. with me." The darkness of his eyes widened and his head tilted on its side as the crack in his brow furrowed. He seemed completely perplexed by the question; it was obviously the last thing that he had expected to come out of my mouth.

" _With you_? Like….a date?"

"No not a date more like…a united front. I think it would look good in the society pages to have the current CEO and the previous CEO attend together. It may quieten the whispers of internal trouble within the company since your departure" The look on his face told me he believed the lie about as much as I did, but what had he expected me to say? That this was a desperate reconnaissance missions to get inside his brain in an attempt to reignite some humanity in him? That would go down about as well as a wooden bullet to the heart.

"I'm already going" He responded very matter of factly. His face had changed by now, it had hardened, and any trace of the surprise he had been wearing a few seconds earlier was now gone. "With someone" I had prepared for it. I had prepared for the no, but I hadn't considered just how much pain would course through my heart hearing that it was not just a rejection, but one involving him taking another woman. I couldn't let the ache show though, especially on my face, it would give him too much pleasure in his current sadistic state if he knew just how much it hurt me. I could feel the traitorous tears starting to form in my eyes, and I would be damned before he would see them fall.

"Right. Of course. I guess I'll uh…see you both there then" My feet moved and carried me out of the conference room a little too quickly, but I needed to get as far away from him as I could. _You are stronger than this Elena_ I told myself as I flew as fast at 'human' pace as I could, and finally, as the elevator doors closed behind me, I let them go.

X X X

It was busier than usual in the Grill for a Wednesday afternoon, but Miss Mystic Falls was the biggest event on the town's social calendar for the year, meaning relatives and the like usually flocked to town a few days before. The rest of the afternoon had been a blur and I had toyed with the thought of rescheduling with Enzo due to my unexpected outburst at Damon's rejection, but I figured some decent company and a few beers could only improve my mood. I had really wanted to go home and lock myself in my bedroom with a bottle of hard liquor and a blood bag; but $4 beers and bbq wings was a fairly decent compromise. I searched the crowded bar and managed to locate Enzo sitting in the booth closest to the bar. His eyes found mine and he gave me a friendly wave as I made my way over to him. He was definitely handsome; with dark eyes and attractive pointed features, but it was not his 'good looks' that was the most pleasing about him. It was the instant feeling of calm you felt when you looked into his kind eyes. Not to mention how perceptive he was. I could tell from the look on his face the moment I sat down that he sensed something was bothering me.

"I'm guessing a beer isn't quite going to cut it" He greeted. I didn't have the energy to hide my foul mood, all I could manage was a slow blink and a nod. He slid out from the booth and I resumed my usual task of becoming completely lost in my thoughts in his absence. I mindlessly toyed with the gold ring on my middle finger and pondered if there would ever come a time in my life where things were just _easy_. I didn't quite foresee that happening anytime in the future. I hadn't even noticed that Enzo had returned with my drink until his deep voice began calling my name, trying to break the hold my daze of thoughts had over me.

"Sorry….it's just been…one of those days"

"I feel like it's been one of those decades for you" He smirked at me in an almost successful attempt at cheering me up. I appreciated it, but I needed to try and get out of this mindset of feeling sorry for myself all the time. It was a useless waste of energy and it literally got me nowhere.

"Yeah it has but I need to stop letting it affect me" I told in defiance of my emotions "If there is one thing I had learnt in the past few months it's that I am a world champion hurdler. Life has thrown me some pretty awful curve balls but at the end of the day, I've survived everything that's come my way so….I just need to start being more thankful for that then revelling in the torment" Enzo's eyes widened at my words

"Well fuck Elena, I would have gotten a scotch as well if I knew we were gonna jump head first into deep shit like this" I laughed hard at him, and the smile that crossed my face was the exact reason that I had not cancelled on tonight. "All jokes aside though, I think that's a positive attitude to have. You're a fighter Elena, I've sensed that in you from the moment we met, but you also carry the weight of everyone else on your shoulders….and although being so kind is an admirable trait, it will also sink you. You've got to stop feeling so responsible for other people's actions….no matter how much you care about them"

"I don't…" I began to defend myself, but the look Enzo gave me was enough for me to stop

"The only actions that you are responsible for are your own. You need to learn to let the rest go...especially when it comes to a certain ex flame of yours"

"I do not hold myself accountable for the things that he does" I argued

"Oh really? How many times did you apologise to me after what happened here last week? A hundred? Maybe two hundred? Come on, you're more self-aware than that"

"I just know how much better he is than his current behaviour and…. I don't know ….I feel obligated somehow to make sure others do as well"

"It's not your place. You're not his keeper"

"I know, I know" I agreed "Old habits just die hard though you know?" He looked at me curiously for a moment as he ran his ring finger around the top of his beer bottle

"It was a lot more serious with him than you lead everyone to believe wasn't it" It wasn't a question, it was a statement and I didn't quite know how to answer the question because there were so many things that Enzo couldn't know. I settled on a shrug and a nod just to add to his confusion as I sought refuge in the bottom of my scotch glass. "So what has he done this time then?"

"What makes you think he has done anything?"

"That look you get on your face"

"I don't get a look"

"Yeah you do. It's completely different than the one you have for everything else that frustrates you"

"I do _not_ have a look. And even if I did, we haven't known each other long enough for you to know if I have a look"

"Denial is a beautiful place to live in Elena" He smirked, eliciting a joyful grin on my mouth

"So is Assholeville"

"Touche" He lifted his beer up and cheersed my witty comeback as we both laughed whole heartedly

"And he hasn't _done_ anything it was just….a misunderstanding"

"How so?"

"Oh I just….asked if he would like to attend the Miss Mystic Falls pageant with me on Saturday and he….already had a date"

"And why would you throw yourself in front of a bus like that?"

"Well it was more for work than anything else….I thought it would be a good opportunity to show our faces together and shut down any rumours about a power struggle…"

"Elena, you don't have to lie to me alright" He cooed softly. It was the second time today that the lie had fallen flat after delivery "You wanted to go with him and that's fine" I really did need to work on my poker face. His gaze was sympathetic enough to prompt me to open up a little

"I just thought it might be a good start in repairing our relationship you know. Have some fun together. Now instead I'm going to have to go stag and feel even more humiliated while he traipses some floozy around on his arm…" 

"Who said you're going stag?" He asked with a cheeky grin on his face "You'll go with me"

"Enzo that's really kind of you but I don't need a pity date.."

"It's not a pity date. I'm not going to let you skulk around a town event because Damon 'Dipshit' Salvatore is too stupid to realise what he's missing out on. We'll go together, get gloriously drunk and show him how stupid he is to turn down a night with you for some other woman"

"You're a pretty great friend, you know that?" I smirked

"It's just one of my many great qualities" He grinned "I'll guess I'll need to rent a tux"

"It's not that formal. A nice suit will do just fine"

"Is Caroline going?" Enzo asked

"Yeah she and Stef will both be there. It's actually a bit of a sore event for her. I beat her for the crown back in the day and she's never quite forgiven me for it"

"Oh well now I am definitely coming" He chuckled. I jumped slightly as a loud clunk from something being dropped on the table took me by surprise, I looked down to see my personal planner attached to a large hand.

"Lost something?" The deep voice asked and I followed the hand up to the chiselled body it was attached to.

"Oh thank god I've been looking everywhere for it!" I sighed in excitement. Excitement that my planner was not gone not excitement that Damon was throwing it on the table in front of me. I was still a little embarrassed from our encounter this afternoon and I didn't plan on being face to face with him again quite so quickly

"We can't have you missing that bikini wax tomorrow now can we?" He smirked. I could tell from the change in Enzo's posture that he wasn't pleased with Damon's sudden arrival, and I just prayed to god that Damon wasn't in the mood for another confrontation. We had barely escaped without the two of them coming to blows last time we were here, I didn't have the energy to prevent another bar brawl tonight; especially considering the damage Damon could inflict on a human. That being said, my own rage began overwhelming my senses at the fact that he had invaded my privacy.

"You _read_ it?" I asked through gritted teeth, half of me wanting to let it go and half of me wanting to rip his head off

"Oh relax Elena it's your calendar not your diary. I opened it to see who it belonged to"

"It's still personal. You should not have read it"

"I believe the term you are looking for is _thank you_ " He growled at me.

"Thank you. Now please go away" I heard Enzo's voice say from across the table, bracing myself for the outburst of testosterone that was sure to follow. Damon's head snapped to his direction, but thankfully, he didn't seem as angry as I had expected him to be

"Enyo. I didn't even see you there buddy. I shouldn't be surprised though. You're like Gilbert's shadow lately…..still sniffing around for that promotion I see"

"Alright Damon. You've returned my planner…you've insulted us both….time for you to go" I told, trying to defuse the situation before it blew up.

"What..I'm not part of the cool group? I'm not hip enough to be invited to drink with the popular kids after work?" The look that I sent his way was sharp enough to cut steel, but it seemed to fuel his fire more than ward him off "Or is it because this is a date? Because if it's a date and I'm interrupting I will totally leave"

"It's not a date but I'd still like you to leave" I told as politely as my anger in the moment would allow me. My eyes met his and we sized each other up for a few seconds before he folded. His head bowed as a sign of compliance and with one last shooting glare at Enzo, he turned and walked away from the booth.

"Well…..at least that wasn't awkward" Enzo commented.

X X X X

The rest of the week dragged on, and thankfully, other than one brief and crowded staff meeting, I didn't have any more one on one confrontations with Damon. I knew that I was going to be hurt if he turned down my invitation, the entire thing was a pipe dream to begin with, and I had to sort through my emotions and try to prevent my go to defence mechanism from being anger instead of dealing with the fact that I was upset. I had fully taken on board what Stefan had said to me before I had experienced my mini breakdown/breakthrough, whatever you want to call it, and by clinging onto anger as an emotion I was doing myself a serious disservice. Regardless, it was easier said than done as a vampire. Caroline had been both happy and angry when I had told her what had transpired between the two of us. Happy that I wasn't going to be subjected to 'his own personal form of sadistic cruelty' all night, as she had put it, but also angry that his rejected had upset me so much. Honestly, I don't know why she was so surprised, but it was probably because I had been a monotone zombie in the emotions department lately, and it had been quite some time since she had seen me react so _humanly_ to something. It was a blessing and a curse, but none the less, the state of things, so I was just going to have to deal with it. I was actually quite happy that Enzo had agreed to come with me to the pageant. He was right, no matter how humiliated I felt at Damon's rejection, me moping around while he enjoyed his night with one of the many women he seemed to have on his arm lately was even more pathetic. Instead, I would present the crown, shake some hands, and try, as hard as it may be, to have a fun filled evening with a friend and co-worker.

Ever the stylist, Care had begged me to let her do my hair and make-up for the event; knowing full well that if I were left to my own devices I would have brushed my straight as nails hair into a messy ponytail and threw on what minimal makeup I possessed in my arsenal. I was quite surprised at how beautiful I looked after her beauty blender and Sigma brushes had spent 45 minutes bashing my face. She had filled in my usually unkempt eyebrows so they were both even, applied a charcoal smoky effect to my large eyes and finished it off with a dark maroon matte lipstick causing me to make a mental note to pay more attention next time so I could attempt to duplicate it for future events. She of course looked stunning as always with not even a hair out of place. I had always been envious of how glamorous Caroline was, but tonight, I was actually feeling a little glamorous myself for a change, which was nice. A little before 2, after applying the finishing touching, we both headed down the staircase of the Salvatore Manor. Expecting to find Stefan waiting for us by the door, we were both shocked to see Damon standing by the large mahogany entrance looking perfect in his tuxedo.

"Ladies" He greeted with his trademark smirk. His acknowledgment was met with a scowl from Caroline as she turned on her heels at the bottom of the staircase and went back upstairs in search of Stefan. I shook my head in humour at her response before leaning against the guard rail, if not a little awkwardly. I didn't want to be alone with him, especially before I had to speak publically. The last thing I needed right now was for him to get inside my head and throw me of balance right before I presented the crown in front of the entire town (and visiting relatives). "Did I say something to offend her?"

"I think your general existence offends her these days Damon" I joked lightly.

"How will I sleep at night knowing that poor sweet Caroline Forbes thinks lowly of me" He gasped as he overdramatically placed his hand on his heart

"Perhaps if you stopped being such a dick people's opinions of you might rise" 

"Nah. I have too much fun being the bad guy. Besides, chicks dig it"

"I'll bet"

"Well, I must say, you look….well….who knew under all that hostility and pantyhose you were hiding someone who can wear the hell out of a cocktail dress?" He smirked as his eyes roamed me up and down. A part of me jumped for joy at his comment, but even when he was saying something positive there was still a veil of disparage cloaking it

"Thanks. Who knew under all that cruelty and rudeness you were hiding someone capable of _almost_ giving a compliment" I retorted sarcastically. I expected a scowl to cross his face but instead I was met with a smirk. Was he _enjoying_ this banter?

"You know Elena that smart mouth of yours is going to get you in trouble with me one of these days…"

"My mouth is fine…and if you don't like it…."

"Who said I didn't like it?" He questioned. He was giving me a strange look, one that I couldn't quite place, and I found myself becoming increasingly uncomfortable yet excited under his gaze. I felt something between us; a spark, a fire, one that I hadn't felt since before I was human, and I didn't know what to do with it. His eyes locked mine and the deep dark pools I had been lost in so many times stared right down into my soul. I was frozen; completely mesmerized, and I couldn't escape them. A loud knock from the door broke me out of my trance and without turning away from me, Damon reached over and opened the door. A nervous looking Enzo began peering at me in the doorway and I had to force a smile on my face to break the tension that was left lingering in the room.

"Am I late? You said 2 right?" He greeted with a smile, causing Damon's top lip to form into a scowl. His head moved from Enzo to me and back again before he turned on his heel and marched out the door past him in what could only be described as a huff. _What the hell had just happened?_ "Sorry, did I interrupt something?"

"No, No, of course not" I lied, still a little dazy from the strange moment that I had just been a part of. "Caroline and Stefan should be down in a minute"

X

The entire ride over to the benefit I couldn't get the encounter with Damon out of my head. It was the first time since he had been back that I had felt like I was looking at _him_ when I locked eyes with him. Even if it was just for a few seconds, I saw a glimpse of the man I used to love, and it both excited and terrified me. I knew I was being poor company for Enzo. I was zoning in and out of my own thoughts and barely taking in the conversation around me. Once we reached the benefit and my initial obligations were met, I decided to make more of a conscious effort to be present instead of lost inside my own mind. That was a dangerous place to be at the best of times.

We were having interim tapas while the judges were busy making their decisions and Enzo has disappeared inside to get us both a fresh glass of wine.

"What is up with you?" Caroline asked subtly, trying in vain to get out of Stefan's earshot, but considering he was half a foot away and a vampire that wasn't exactly going to happen

"Nothing…I'll….tell you later"

"Damon" She stated

"Yeah but, I don't really want to talk about it right now"

"No, I mean Damon is headed over here" She told, flicking her head in the direction of the incoming threat. He looked so goddamn good in a suit that it temporarily distracted me from the stunning woman on his arm. I had seen her face many times before, but only once in person, a few months ago at the grill in my first few weeks of working with the company. Andie Starr, the local news presenter and current date of Damon Salvatore. She was the epitome of everything I wasn't. Womanly curves, thick full lips and a come hither look about her that I could never in my wildest dreams pull off. She screamed sex, and I had to admit, they made quite the couple.

"Ahhh, the elusive threesome. Andie, let me introduce you" He greeted as they came to a stop in front of us. "This is my brother Stefan Salvatore and his neurotic and overbearing girlfriend Caroline Forbes" Caroline flinched sharply at his introduction but we were at a town event and she had enough decorum not to make a scene over a petty comment. "And this perpetually sullen young lady is Elena Gilbert…"

"Oh your assistant… I _remember_ " Andy responded looking me up and down "They really let anyone into these events don't they"

"Actually I'm his boss now" I returned with a sweet smile "I must say there are some fantastic benefits from being CEO of such a large corporation. It gives you a lot of pull with people should you need any favours. Mayors, TV Station Mangers….I'm actually on extremely good terms with Steven Quinzel _l_ ….he's… _.your_ boss right?" I shouldn't have stooped down to her bitchy level with such a thinly veiled threat, but something about her got under my skin; other than the fact that she has on the arm of my ex…whatever. Andie's face turned as white as a ghost as Caroline and Damon both held back sniggers….obviously humoured by the diva flare up I was having.

"Now now Elena play nice. Where's your errand boy? He hasn't grew tired of your company _already_?" Damon asked with a faux smile on his face

"Excuse me" I replied politely, tired of this little game he was playing and unable to face the two of them with any form of public decency any longer. I managed to locate Enzo inside waiting patiently at the bar, and sighed a loud exhale of relief from being away from the Damon drama.

"Didn't take long for him to get to you" Enzo laughed as I leant against the bar

"You are getting a little too perceptive for your own good Mr. St James" I responded "At least it's just petty insults these days. I should count my blessings that he's not still trying to get me fired"

"He really is an insufferable ass. It baffles me as to what you see in him"

"Someone else" I told lightly before wrapping my fingers around the stem of the champagne glass the bartender had just placed on the counter "But, I did make a promise to not only you and myself that I would not spend my night skulking so; I'm activating the 'Let's get gloriously drunk and have a fabulous time plan'"

"There's the spirit!" He cheered. Our conversation was broken by one of the event planners who informed me it was time to present the crown. I threw the rest of the bubbles down my throat for liquid courage and followed her to the staging area. It felt so strange to be announcing the winner and presenting the crown now, it seemed like yesterday that Caroline and I were standing exactly where the girls were tonight; decked out to the nines in our formal dresses and a bundle of nerves as to who the winner would be. Life was so much easier then, so pure, and never in my wildest dreams could I have imagined the existence of all the things that went bump in the night….nor the fact that I had now become one. The crown gathered as I began my announcements. Thanking the town sponsors again, reminding the audience and the contestants of the 'life changing prizes' awarded to the winner and reassuring the girls that no matter what happened here tonight they were all winners in my eyes. It was all a bit trivial to me, but I remembered back to being that age and thinking that this was the most important night of my life, and who was I to take that away from them?

Courtney Lockwood was announced runner up and Judy Fell took home the crown, which was a massive shock to everyone. The niece of the mayor had been the favourite for months…..or so Enzo had told me….and nobody had expected little mousy haired Judy Fell to take home the big honour. It reminded me of the night I had won, with everyone expecting Caroline to be crowned. After placing the decades old tiara on her head, Judy took the hand of her partner and was escorted onto the dance floor for the traditional dance. One by one couples followed the contestants onto the dance floor, and as the warm afternoon breeze brushed across my face, I couldn't help but smile as I saw the youthful hope radiating from them.

"Well done boss" Enzo greeted as he joined me "You're a hell of a public speaker"

"It was the champagne" I grinned "Liquid courage and all"

"Well looks like Donnie from Accounts owes me $50. I had money on Fell"

"You did not"

"No. I followed the crowds and bet on the Lockwood broad. Serves me right for listening to the sheep"

"Well aren't you just a little local now" I laughed

"Tell me about it" He grinned in response "Would you care to dance?"

"I really am terrible" I confessed.

"As am I. Maybe two negatives will balance each other out" Without waiting on my agreement Enzo took my hand and led me out onto the dance floor. It had been a long time since I had danced with someone like this, it was quite possibly with Damon in front of the fire place at the Manor the first night we had slept together, and I noticed how uncomfortable I felt being in such close contact with another man. Enzo's hand was placed appropriately on my upper waist and wasn't intentionally doing anything to make me feel this way, but it had been some time since I'd had hands on me like this. As soon as our bodies began moving to the soft melody of the orchestra, I knew he had been lying about being a terrible dancer. Of course an English private schooled man would know how to dance. I gave him a knowing look which elicited a chuckle from his throat "Alright, so maybe I'm not that terrible. Just let me lead and you'll be fine"

"You shit" I laughed in faux anger, but I could not stop the smile that crossed my face

"I like it when you're like this Elena. It's nice to see you smile" 

"I smile"

"Yeah but I have to work hard to make you do it" He laughed "I know it isn't my place, but I do consider you one of my only friends in this town…a good one at that…..and I can't hold my tongue any longer"

"Enzo.."

"You're wasting your life chasing after him Elena. I think he has made it perfectly clear that regardless of what he may feel for you, he enjoys torturing you and leading you on more than being you"

"I'm not a victim Enzo. I choose to hold onto what I feel and I choose to pursue a friendship with him"

"Well I think you're making the wrong choice. And I'm not the only one" He told softly as he swirled me around with his left hand "Caroline is worried about you to"

"Look Enzo, I appreciate the concern, I really do. But I'm a big girl, and this isn't yours or Caroline's business" I knew he was just looking out for me, but the last thing I needed in my life was someone else treating me like a victim who couldn't look out for herself. I knew that it was a high likelihood of getting hurt on my Damon mission, I knew that better than anyone, but I had made my decision, and I was the one who had to live with it, not them

"I just want you to know that you have other options"

"Options?"

"Yeah" He breathed deeply "You're a beautiful woman Elena…there's a hundred men who would line up to get a shot with you"

"I highly doubt that"

"Well it's true. You're dancing with one right now" _No_. His eyes were pleading with me to believe him but I couldn't go there with him. Why was he trying to ruin this? Our friendship was too important to me for him to be saying things like this to me. His grip on me tightened and he tipped me down, his face following closely to mine as he did. I was petrified, I knew he was about to kiss me, but my brain was paralysed as to how to stop it. I felt a sudden jolt as I was pushed back up to standing position by an unknown force and as my eyes readjusted, a large fist connected with Enzo's face, sending him flying a few feet back. I was shocked, unsure of what had just happened until I saw a furious looking Damon standing where Enzo had been hit.

"I've been wanting to do that for weeks"

 **A/N- Thank you for your patience my gorgeous followers. I have been on vacation for a few weeks and recently became engaged so that has been taking up a lot of my free time.**

 **More Chapters coming your way very shortly 3**

 **-Littledove.**


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter Seven- Green Eyed Monster

A crowd had started to gather around the scene of the punch as one of the nurses from the local hospital examined Enzo's injuries. Damon had disappeared to the back of the function with his bimbo and after bending down to check that Enzo was alright,  
my rage carried me to where they were standing.

"You and me…..outside" I growled at him as soon as I was face to face with the couple

"We are outside Elena"

" _Now Damon_ " I growled, grabbing him by the arm and leading him away from the function. I knew I was going to explode at him, my emotions were running too high, so I needed to make sure we were as far away from ear shot as possible. The car park  
seemed like the best option. Once I felt we were far enough I let him loose from my tight grip and allowed my anger to escape my chest.

"What is wrong with you!?" I screamed at him. I knew exactly what was wrong with him, but someone without the current ability to feel empathy or compassion obviously didn't see any fault in their behaviour.

"What? That guy has been pissing me off for weeks" He responded completely monotone. How on earth was I supposed to get through to him if he didn't see anything wrong with his actions? It was like bashing my head against a brick wall.

"So what you just go around punching people because they piss you off now? Is that the kind of person you are?"

"Pretty much" He responded robotically again.

"Well that is unacceptable. Not only is Enzo your work colleague but he is a very nice person; one who you just assaulted in the middle of a town function" There was already endless whispers around town about internal conflict within the company, and  
now, the ex CEO punching a new associate brought in from New York? This would be gossiped about for weeks.

"Nice person? The guy is a total sleaze" Damon said rolling his eyes

"He is not! He is actually the perfect gentlemen, unlike some other people I know" His scoff was jagged and filled with complete distain. I had no idea where all this animosity towards Enzo had come from. As far as I knew they had always been on pleasant  
terms with each other prior to him re-locating to Mystic Falls.

"You are either stupid or frighteningly naive Elena. He is playing you like a fiddle"

"He is my friend" I defended through gritted teeth.

"Yeah a friend who looks at you like a piece of meat. Surely you noticed the satisfied little grin on his dickwad face when he had his grimy hands all over you on the dance floor" It took me a few moments to comprehend his words before the realisation  
hit me like a freight train. How could I not have noticed it before? It was a total aha! moment.

"So that's what this is about" My pitch was high with an almost excitement which caused his beautiful brow creased at my statement "You're jealous"

"Pfft" He scoffed again, but I didn't quite believe it. He was finally showing a chink in his armour, and suddenly, the tiny seed of hope I had planted in my heart began to flower. "Of what?"

"Of Enzo...with me"

"Keep dreaming Elena" He rolled his eyes but he looked increasingly nervous.

"No. It makes complete sense now. You could have put my planner on my desk the other day but you saw I was having drinks with him at the Grill and that's why you came down there...to interrupt us. And tonight, you were nice to me at the Manor…..almost….flirtatious…until  
Enzo showed up and you realised he was coming as my date. Then you turned into a complete ass" He looked unsteady on his feet at my accusation but furiously defensive none the less. He had punched him while we were dancing, and right after Enzo had  
dipped me and leant in a little too far to my face for comfort. Damon saw it and thought the same thing I did: that he was about to kiss me "Then you saw us dancing and it made you jealous..."

"I am NOT jealous"He growled "I just can't stand the sight of someone with their hands..." And there it was. He stopped himself short of saying it, but the cat was out of the bag now. _He_ was just under the surface, I could almost hear it  
in his voice; the fiercely overprotective jealous man that I adored so much; it was him.

"You couldn't stand the sight of someone with their hands on me" I repeated. He looked like he had just been shot. His face turned white with an almost peach coloured blush of shame tinged on the upper apples of his cheek. He felt jealous. He _felt_ a  
human emotion. _He felt_.

"That's not..." But there was no denying it, he had showed his hand to me now, and there was no turning back. He continued to fumble with his words as the blush spread further and further across his face.

"I asked you to come here with me tonight Damon and you said no. So don't get pissed off at Enzo because he accepted my invitation"

"I did not say no" He roared "I said I was already coming with someone"

"And do you see me punching her because your hands were around her waist?" He rolled his eyes at the question and I could feel the heated frustration pulsating from his body

"And your little dummy spit about getting her fired wasn't because _you_ were jealous?"

"At least I hit with my words Damon, not my fist" He scoffed for the millionth time at my response "Well you know what the alternative is don't you?"

"What's that?" He snarled

"If you care about me that much that the mere sight of another man's hands on me makes you violent, then next time, make sure I come here with you"

"Do not flatter yourself enough to think that I _care_ about you that much. I don't care about you….or anyone for that matter"

"Yes you do Damon or we wouldn't be standing here"

"I'm done with this conversation" He growled deeply, turning away from me and taking a step towards the back of the parking lot. I should have let him go, I should have let him go home and cool off and be satisfied that he finally displayed some range  
of human emotion, even an ugly one. But I could see through the tiny crack into the other side now, and I needed to make the hole bigger. So I followed him…

"You care about me" I repeated over his shoulder as he continued to weave through the endless array of parked cars

"Get away from me..."

"You still love me. You still love me and it killing you " I called after him. I knew I was angering him, I knew I was pushing him beyond the point a vampire should be pushed. But I had seen it now. A glimpse of the man I loved, and I wasn't going to  
stop until he came back to me….piece by piece "It's killing you because even when you've got it turned off, even when you don't want to feel anything, you still feel it. You still feel your love for me"

"Stop fucking following me Elena I swear to god..."

"You love me. And even at your absolute worst you STILL can't bear to see another man's hands on me. Because I'm yours. Because I should be yours...isn't that right?"

"NO!" He roared, spinning around and revealing the dark veins around his eyes. "STOP SAYING THAT"

"It's the truth. You love me"

"STOP IT"

"You love me just as much as I love you"

"No"

"It's okay" He was growling. He was furious. If I wasn't just as strong as he was I would have been petrified of him in that moment. "You love me and that's okay…..because I love you too" It all happened so quickly, his eyes were still dark and veined  
and he lunged towards me. I braced myself for the attack, knowing that he couldn't break me now. Not physically at least. I knew he wouldn't hit me, but I expected him to push me hard enough as a warning to back off. What I didn't expect was for him  
to push me hard against the Volvo I was standing in front of and press his lips to mine. It took my breath away, literally, and it took my mind a few seconds to register the fact that his lips were on mine. His hands began roaming my eager body, and  
I moaned into his mouth in realisation of just how wonderful it felt to be touched by him. I pulled away sharply, overwhelmed by what was going on, and I felt a sharp tinge of joy in my heart when I saw the eyes that were looking back at me. They  
weren't empty or cruel or full of darkness. They were his. They were the eyes of the man that I loved.

" _Elena_ " He whispered softly, tucking a stray hair behind my ear before running his thumb down my jawline and over my chapped lips. My eyes closed in response to the contact and for a split second; all of the heartache and the misery from the  
past few months melted away and we were us again. "I…" He paused for a moment, the pupils of his eyes lost in mine, and in that moment I could feel it. I could feel everything he felt for me. Suddenly, the hand he had caressing my face dropped to  
his side and the stillness of his eyes faded. He was empty again. He launched himself off my body and the fingers that had been softly skimming over my skin but a few seconds earlier ball into a fist which pulled back and smashed the passenger windscreen  
of the car. Still growling, he gave me one final look of anger before turning and disappearing into the night.

X

I had been terrified to go home that night in fear of running into Damon. I had broken through the wall and for the first time since he got back, had seen cold hard evidence that his humanity was bubbling just beneath the surface. But now, I had no idea  
on how to move forward. I couldn't push him too much in fear that he might take off, but I couldn't let the lead die either, or we would be back to step one. I went for a long walk around the quiet streets of Mystic Falls and let all the events of  
the night sink into my brain. As horrified as I had been that Damon had hit Enzo in front of the entire town, a part of me was also happy that it had happened, for two reasons. The first being that it showed that he cared. And the second being that  
Enzo had been about to kiss me, which would have ended the friendship that had been cultivating between the two of us. It was a complete shock to me that he had tried to do that, he hadn't ever thrown off any indication that he felt that way about  
me, and I had been honest with him from the get go that I was not looking for a relationship with anyone due to being completely and utterly hung up on my ex. We would have to talk about it and figure out if it was just a spur of the moment decision,  
perhaps to try and get my mind off Damon; or if he had feelings for me beyond that of a platonic friend. I really hoped it wasn't the latter. I enjoyed spending time with him, but I just didn't feel that way about him.

I finally dragged myself home just before 3am and I was happy to see that Damon's car was nowhere in sight. As I climbed into bed and prayed for the sleep that I knew would evade me, I wondered what on earth my next step with him should be. I couldn't  
just ignore it, it was the most progress I had made with him since he flew back into town, and now that I had been reminded just how incredible it felt to have his lips against mine, I was even more determined than ever to get him back. Surprisingly,  
I drifted off to sleep fairly quickly and had a more restful sleep than I could remember having in quite some time. Around noon the cracks of daylight in the bedroom stirred me out of my slumber and I was surprised to see Caroline sitting on the edge  
of my bed holding a mug of coffee. She had the worried look on her face that she always wore before giving me a lecture, and I cursed myself internally for not locking the door before going to sleep.

"Morning" She greeted, thrusting the cup of coffee under my nose

"Morning" I croaked as I took the coffee and greedily began sipping it. I was going to need it

"So….are we going to jump right into it or do you need a few more minutes to wake up?"

"A blood bag and a shower would be a nice start" But the look on her face told me I was lucky to even get a coffee before she demanded to know what the hell had gone on last night "But I'm guessing that's out of the question"

"You guessed right. Now spill"

"Ears?" I asked motioning towards the door. Living in a house full of vampires meant a severe lack of privacy through thin walls and enhanced hearing

"He hasn't come home" She assured me "And Stefan had to pop into the office for a little while so we're good" Her eyes started bulging out of their sockets and I could tell she was becoming impatient

"Did Enzo get home alright? I meant to call him"

"Yeah Stefan and I dropped him off not long after Million Dollar Asshole sucker punched him. He was a bit sore and sorry for himself but otherwise he's okay"

"Fucking Damon" I commented as I shook my head and finished the last of my coffee "I feel pretty awful that he keeps getting caught in the middle of mine and Damon's drama"

"So you were obviously the trigger for him punching Enzo"

"Yeah. I'm not sure if he was eavesdropping on the entire conversation or if he just saw what happened but basically, Enzo insinuated he had more than just platonic feelings for me as we were dancing and he…sort of went in for the kiss"

"You're kidding!" Caroline exclaimed

"Yeah. Right before a kiss could happen Damon grabbed him and sent him flying across the dance floor"

"Wait a second, Damon saw Enzo about to kiss you and that's why he hit him?" She was just as shocked as I had been when the realisation hit me last night "He was…"

"Jealous. Yep"

"Well, that's an unexpected development. Looks like Stefan was right"

"Uh ha. I took him out to the car park after Enzo got punched and yelled at him of course. He started saying all this stuff to me about how Enzo was looking at me like a piece of meat and I was stupid enough to think that he was my friend when he's clearly  
trying to sleep with me. He then admitted that he couldn't handle seeing another man with his hands all over me" Caroline was absolutely floored at my retelling of the nights events "And then he kissed me"

"Wait… _what!_ "

"This stays between us okay. Not even Stefan is to find out about this"

"Why not? This is pretty huge Elena"

"I know but, it's the first time I've seen even a glimpse of his humanity and I just feel like I need to tread carefully at the moment. The part of him that is in control will do everything in his power to put a stop to the feelings he has for me, so  
for now, I need to let him think that he's still in control"

"But he kissed you. He was jealous of another guy with you, he hit him, then he _kissed_ you! This is just….wow"

"Tell me about it"

"How do you feel about the whole thing? I mean, he kissed you and then what?" She was talking at a million miles a minute "I'm sorry I'm rambling I'm just a little shocked"

"You are. Imagine how I felt last night?" I laughed "Well, basically, I called him out on it. I told him he's jealous because he still loves me and he totally flipped out. Vamp face and all. But after some prodding he just, attacked me. Pushed me against  
a car and started making out with me. I honestly thought he was going to hit me, I was not expecting a kiss. For a few seconds Caroline, it was him. Like I looked in his eyes and it wasn't some emotionless drone staring back at me, it was Damon….the  
real Damon. I think, it all got too much for him and he became overwhelmed because all of a sudden he just flipped it back and after punching the car window in he flew off down the street"

"Wow.."

"How do I feel? I mean. I feel a lot of things. Excited that I finally got through to him, frightened as to what he's capable of now that he's showed a bit of humanity, confused as to what I should do next. But most of all, I feel connected to him again.  
Even if it was just for a few seconds, when he kissed me, it just, we sparked you know. And it's made me more determined than ever to get him back"

"Just promise me you'll be careful Elena. He was unpredictable before, but now? Now that he's confused and desperately clinging to the switch…I feel like he's going to be more dangerous than ever"

"Well good. Let him cling to the switch. He can try. But mark my words….I'm going to get him back Caroline"

I tried to get in contact with Enzo several times that day but he was obviously ignoring my calls. I didn't know whether he was embarrassed or angry at what had happened. After all, he had been punched by my ex-boyfriend and I had basically gone chasing  
after him straight away and not returned. It was a pretty dick move, but in that moment all I was concerned about what scolding Damon. It hadn't even occurred to me how rude it had been to bail on our date halfway through. It would certainly be an  
interesting day at work tomorrow with the three of us having to sit through a meeting together, and I was hoping to talk to Enzo to clear it up before then. Damon on the other hand, who knew how I was going to tackle that one. I hadn't consciously  
been house bound, but I had a feeling that the reason I had chosen to spend my Sunday sitting on the couch with a book had been because I was waiting for him to come home. I was desperate to see what his reaction would be, and a part of me was impatiently  
wanting to talk to him about everything that happened. I had a feeling he would be completely unreceptive though.

Around half past four I finally got my answer when a sullen looking Damon, still wearing his suit from the night before, walked through the front door and gave me a disconcerting glance. He marched straight from the entry up the stairs and by the sounds  
of his footsteps, headed straight into his bedroom. I couldn't sit down here and analyse everything all over again. The only way for me to get a feel for what was going through his head was to go up there and talk to him about it- regardless of how  
angry it made him. I heard the pipes start and I patiently waited while he had a shower while re-reading the same sentence over and over again. A few minutes later after I was sure he was out of the bathroom and dressed, I tiptoed up the stairs and  
made my way to his bedroom door. I heard a groan from inside as I knocked lightly on it, and instead of waiting for the invitation to come in that I knew would never happen, I opened the door and walked inside myself.

"Listen Gilbert I know you think you own the place but you actually have to wait until I say COME IN before you enter my bedroom"

"Like you were ever going to tell me its okay to come in" I responded. I felt all the saliva in my mouth instantly dry as my eyes finally took him in. He had a white towel wrapped loosely around his wet torso and the beads of water dripping down his chiselled  
stomach was doing nothing to quench my arousal. "We need to talk about last night"

"No, we really don't" He argued with an extremely annoyed look on his face

"Well we are going to whether you like it or not" I informed him crossing my arms. His phone which was sitting on the edge of his bed started ringing and he peered at the caller ID before ignoring it

"Do you actively try to be the most annoying fucking person on the planet or does it just come naturally?"

"Insult me all you want Damon. It's not going to change the fact that you kissed me last night" The side of his lip curled up in anger and I braced myself for the shit storm that was about to explode

"So what….I kiss a lot of people"

"Not only did you kiss me but you punched out a co-worker simply because he had his hands on me"

"I punched out that guy because he's a pain in the ass. It had nothing to do with you so stop flattering yourself" His phone began ringing again but just like the first time he ignored it

"It must take up so much energy to live in such a strong state of denial Damon. If it wasn't so pathetic I'd be impressed"

"Oh for fucks sakes Elena, I haven't slept, I'm starving and I am not in the mood to have a fucking chick lit moment with you. I punched a dude for being an asshole and I kissed you because your ass looked good in that dress….stop reading too much into  
it"

"So that's the story you're going with?" I asked with a grin on my face. I had broken him and he knew it. He didn't have enough energy at the moment to pretend it didn't mean anything, which meant it was the perfect time for me to keep chipping at that  
wall. His phone started ringing again and I wondered who on earth was trying to contact him that was adding to his frustration.

"If by story you mean the truth than yeah, it's what I'm going with"

"So it wouldn't bother you if I started dating Enzo?" As soon as the name rolled off my tongue I saw his face turn into a snarl, but he quickly recovered it into his usual blank stare

"Elena I don't give a fuck if you plow the entire marketing department, as long as you get out of my room and let me get some fucking rest"

"You're a horrible liar"

"And you are a pain in my fucking ass" He growled. His phone started ringing again and as he and I entered a staring contest the piercing sound of the iPhone had a nails on the chalkboard effect on me

"Who the hell keeps calling you?" I asked

"None of your business!" He growled. So I did what I knew would get under his skin. With my vamp speed, I flew from the spot on the hardwood floor I had been standing on and grabbed his ringing cell phone

"Damon's phone" I greeted, dodging his hands that were now trying to grab the phone off me

"Elena?" The shocked and familiar voice from the other end of the phone asked "Whaa….how….how are you….I thought you were"

"Dead" I finished the sentence realising just who I was speaking with "Minor complication. I was thankfully cured with a dose of immortality. How are you Bree?" Damon had given up trying to grab the phone from me and was now sitting on the edge of his  
bed with his head in his hands.

"Well jesus girl….I'm sorry I'm just a little….shocked. Forgive me…"

"It's okay I understand" I encouraged. I would be shocked as well if someone I thought to be dead answered my phone call.

"I'm so glad to hear that you are alright. I was devastated when Damon told me…..wait a second, if you're, you're with him right now? Does that mean he's back?"

"I'm working on it" I told her, making sure I looked him dead in the eye as I said it. He bared his teeth at me in response

"Alright that's enough give me my phone"

"Mr Grumpy here is having a spazz on me, I'll put him on"

"No need. Just tell him that I've found what he's been looking for. He needs to get down here as soon as possible, and I think you should come with him, you'll want to hear this too"

"What is it?" I asked curiously

"Open phone line girl, it's not safe. Just get down to me today if you can"

"You've got it" I responded before hanging up the phone and throwing it towards Damon "Get dressed, we're going to Georgia"


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8- Heavyweight Title

"Elena this is insane"

"It's one night. We'll drive straight through and be back for work in the morning" I reassured Caroline. She had been pestering me for the last ten minutes about what a bad idea this read trip down to Bree's bar was, and I knew her concerns had merit. One wrong sentence and emotionless Damon was likely to kick me out on the side of the interstate with not even so much as the blink of an eye, but that was a risk I was willing to take.

"Do you really think I'm concerned about you missing your meetings in the morning? If you do you are more clueless than you realise" I rolled my eyes at her statement. I wasn't a fool, I knew he was capable of almost anything, but a few hours alone together in a car with nowhere to hide was the perfect opportunity to continue picking his brain. Surely she had to realise that.

"I know what I'm doing" I told her firmly, placing a pair of pyjamas in my overnight case and zipping it shut just in case whatever Bree had for us took more than a few hours. I wasn't going to be stuck with the same old smelly clothes like the last time we had gone down there. Although, I highly doubted Damon and I would be held up in a hotel room having passionate sex again.

"Yeah. Well so does he. And I don't give a damn what 'developments' there have been in the past 24 hours; I still don't trust the guy as far as I can kick him" I hissed lowly at her statement as soon as the words had left her tongue

" _Ears_ " I warned. Damon was still in the house, and he would fly off the handle if he knew I had divulged the kiss that we had shared last night to anyone. It was bad enough that I brought it up with him, if he knew Caroline was aware of his behaviour he was likely to retaliate in a unforgivable way just to prove the point of how 'unimportant' it was. That was the current state of things, but my optimistic nature had me hoping for an improvement after this trip.

"Oh I don't care. I'll yell it out the window if it means you'll listen to me" She grumbled as she flopped down on the side of the bed "Not that you have ever done that"

"I listen" I defended with a smile on my face, knowing full well that my sarcasm would fall on unwelcome ears

"Yeah right". Caroline watched me pack the rest of my small overnight case and accompanied me out of my room and down the stair case in a way that reminded me of a security guard. She had certainly noticed how much positive progress I had been making with myself lately and her caring nature seemed not to want anything to disturb or disrupt that. She was a fierce lioness when it came to the people she loved and it was just one of the qualities about her that I so highly valued.

"So what kind of uber romantic evening do you and Stef have planned for tonight?"

"None actually" She answered a little more non-chalently than usual

"Oh come on. You've got the entire manor to yourself until the wee hours of the morning…maybe even longer…and you're telling me that you're not going to use that to your advantage? Her right hand flew to behind her ear and she began rubbing the skin roughly. A sure sign of her being uncomfortable. "Caroline? What's going on?"

"Nothing…I am…I wasn't going to say anything because I know it makes you upset but…I'm having dinner with Bonnie"

"Oh." Bonnie hadn't spoken to me in months. Not since that day at the park where she outlined that she wouldn't want to extend her hand of friendship my way for the foreseeable future. And it had been an array of unanswered phone calls and text message ever since. It hadn't exactly been at the forefront of my mind and for that I did feel slightly guilty. I had been friends with Bonnie as long as I had been friends with Caroline, and I knew that I had blatantly showed more care for my relationship with Care, but she was in the loop with this entire supernatural thing, and I needed to keep my loved ones left; Bonnie and Jeremy; as far away from it as possible. I promised myself that once things had settled down and I felt 100% in control of myself that I would tend to my decayed relationship. That's if it was still able to be salvaged. "Well tell her I said hi and that I miss her" A sadness filled Caroline's light eyes at these words and I knew that if the shoe were on the other foot I would feel guilt for being able to see her when Caroline couldn't.

"Sure" She said with a hopeful smile as she wrapped her arms around my shoulders and pulled me into a reassuring hug. She clung to me firmly and I knew there was more behind the embrace than she was letting on.

"Oh for gods sakes girls; can you save your chick flick moments for when I'm _not_ at the house?" Damon's unimpressed voice bellowed as he came down the staircase

"Fine, as long as you save your pathetic 'I'm a soulless bad boy with no emotion and nothing to prove to anyone' bullshit for when _we_ are not home?" Caroline retorted at him with a scowl. I couldn't hold back the snort of laughter that erupted from my mouth at her comeback. His eyes squinted in distain as the air in the room became thick with tension. These two had been furiously dancing around each other for weeks; with Caroline not able to spend more than a few minutes in the same room as him since he got back. Her completele hatred for him in his current state was blatant and he seemed to take pleasure in stirring the pot and eliciting a reaction from her. He was a fool in that regard because Caroline Forbes could muster the sharpest words and now that she was a vampire she could back it up with even sharper strength. She may look like the A typical blonde sorority type; but she was not a force to be reckoned with. "It's as pitiful as it is thinly veiled."

" _Careful Caroline_ " He growled at her through gritted teeth

"No _you be careful_ driving my best friend down to Georgia. I would like her back in one piece please. And that _includes_ your behaviour toward her. If I hear that you were anything but nice and civil, I will rip your spine out through your nostrils Salvatore. Understood?"

"Take your threats somewhere else Blondie. You don't frighten me"

" _Damon_ " She warned in the lowest and most threatening growl I had ever heard come from her. It was scary, not in an in your face way, but a quiet fear. It seemed to hit him on some level because will an almost embarrassed bow of his head, he submitted to her.

"Whatever" Was the only response he could muster as he stormed past her in a huff towards his car. I let go of the uncontrollable laughter that had been boiling in my stomach and smiled in approval at her. Leave it to Caroline to scare the living hell into an emotionless vampire. She could frighten Satan with one look.

"Drive safe and be…."

"Careful" I finished for her and with one more hug, I followed Damon out the door toward his vehicle. I put my bag in his trunk and joined him in the front seat, noticing immediately that Caroline's show of dominance over him had put him in a bad mood. Surprise surprise. We sat in silence for a few moments and I knew he was waiting to say something to me; it's why he hadn't started the ignition yet.

"Spit it out" I finally said, turning to him. He didn't meet my gaze and instead continued looking forward, consumed in his tantrum.

"What?"

"You've obviously got a little speech prepared before we hit the road so get on with it" I responded forcefully. He growled at my words, obviously annoyed that I knew him so well.

"I've been waiting for that call from Bree for some time. And _the only_ reason I am letting you come with me tonight is because she won't give me the information I need if you aren't with me"

"Why would she do that?" I asked sceptically.

"A pathetic attempt at torturing me. But looks like I'm going to be stuck in the car with you for the next few hours so on second thought it's working"

"Oh get over yourself Damon and let's get on the road"

"We will. As long as you understand that you are here because _Bree_ wants you to be. Not me"

"But you're making me feel so comfortable and welcome" I retorted with an eye roll

"Why don't you do us both a favour and keep your little commentary and chatter to yourself. Things will go a hell of a lot smoother if you do"

"Whatever you say Damon"

My plan had originally been to use the few hour drive down to Bree's to my advantage by badgering Damon into obedience but he had been rendered into a dark vortex of grumpiness from Caroline's warning that I knew not to test his patience. I didn't want to send him off the deep end, and even though I was growing impatient to rectify the situation, I had to pick my battles, and this wasn't the time to push him. I used the first hour to catch up on my mountain of weekend emails so I didn't have a vast see of unreads when I got back into the office in the morning, but I had too much on my mind to give them the full attention they needed, so halfway between our gas stop in Winston-Salam and Charlotte, North Carolina, I had pulled out the Hemingway novel I shoved into my purse and allowed myself to be emerged in the beautifully written words of the final book of _A Farewell to Arms_. It had always been my favourite of all of Hemingway's' works, even though like most, the ending was terribly sad. I could feel Damon turning to look at me every now and again, and after a while he interrupted my thoughts with questions of his own. What went through his mind nowadays? What kind of thoughts did a vampire with no humanity have? Were they simple: I'm hungry. I'm tired. Or where they more complex than that? It was a curious thing but something I couldn't ask him without him getting the wrong idea. Besides, he had been quite vocal about not wanting to hear my 'chatter' on this road trip and for once, I was actually happy to oblige him.

About twenty minutes outside of town, the grumpy captain finally spoke.

"So what, I suppose you're angry with me now?" It took his words a few seconds to register in my brain. I had just reached the part in the novel where our couple had successfully fled to Switzerland and my attention was completely wrapped up in their love story. I turned to look at him perplexed once I comprehended what he had asked me after four hours of dead silence

"Pardon me?" I responded confused.

"You haven't said a word to me since we left.."

"You asked me not to?" Was he on drugs?

"Yeah, and when have you ever done anything you've been asked?"

"All the time, when it serves my own interests" I smiled sweetly before returning my eyes to my book. His never left me and I could feel his penetrating stare burning a hole through me. Frustrated, I finally turned back to face him " _What_?"

"Nothing"

"You're staring at me"

"Don't flatter yourself. I'm trying to see what you're reading" He shot back with a snarl. I contemplated dishing out a daggered yet witty response to him but didn't have the energy to bicker. I sighed in defeat and lifted the open book up to reveal the cover to him

" _A Farewell to Arms_ " I told lightly watching his inquisitive change of face "By.."

"Hemmingway I know"

"Have you read it?" I asked in the hopes of having a casual conversation. I really should have known better.

"No" He gripped the steering wheel a little tighter "What's is about?" I was slightly unnerved by the simple question, a little shocked that he was engaging

"A soldier during WW1. And his romance with a nurse. She is grieving and unknowingly craving a deep love while he has been left emotionally detached and cold from the war. They initially engage in a casual game of seduction but after he is wounded and she cares for him, their love becomes powerfully real"

"So what happens?" He asked, slightly hypnotised by my brief plot summary "They live their pathetic little happily ever after?

"No actually" I said with an almost laugh. The book didn't have a happy ending, and it sometimes made me wonder why I loved it so much "He gets arrested by the military police but escapes and they both flee to Switzerland. They live a happy existence for a short time but she dies during childbirth after giving birth to their stillborn son" I had not been prepared for his furious reaction to the end of the story and I didn't understand what had lit his short fuse

"Tell me something Elena. Do you just have a generally shitty taste in literature or do you have a particular fetish for drunken buffoons like Poe and Hemmingway?"

"My taste in literature is fantastic" I retorted "And obviously I have a particular fetish for drunken buffoons….I dated you didn't I?" Of things to say to him, that seemed to be one of the worst. It was like a scene in a cartoon where a character is furious and has those squiggly unreadable words and shapes above their head, and in one swift motion, he grasped the novel that was clutched between my relaxed fingers and flung it out the driver's side window. I sat there, slack yawed and mouth wide open for a few seconds as the sight that had just unfolded in front of me sunk into my brain. I had a sudden and powerful wave of rage inadvertently overcome every sense in my body, and for the second time since he had returned to town, my hand curled into a fist and I lunged forward to smack him straight in the face. It was a wretched response that could be likened to a toddler throwing a temper tantrum after having one of their toys taken away; logically I knew that, but the fact that he had taken my property out of my hands and tossed it out the window without so much as the flick of an eyelash had pushed me over the edge. I tried not to whimper as the ache of my knuckles began coursing all over my body and between the rage that was filling my body and the blood that was pouring out of his what looked to be broken nose, the car was swimming in red. He swerved his Chevy violently to the shoulder of the rural dirt road. We both leapt out of the car, panting with fury and preparing our arsenal for the war that was about to erupt.

"I let you get away with striking me once Elena. And I _told_ you not to let it fucking happen again" He roared

"Well maybe if you weren't the king asshole of planet earth 100% of the time I wouldn't feel the need to hit you!" I screamed back at him. The darkness in the pit of my stomach was swirling, and I was in danger of losing control of my emotions at this point. But I was too far gone to care. All I knew was in this moment, I hated him, and I wanted nothing more than to punch him as hard as I could in his pretty little face again. In a normal scenario, the physical strength of a woman could rarely overcome that of a man's. But this wasn't a normal scenario, and I really liked my odds.

"I'm not an asshole this is just my personality"

"It's pathetic that you are still trying to convince people of that"

"No. What's pathetic is your sad puppy dog routine you've got going on. Every time I say something that 'upset's you or don't fucking look at you the right way you either start crying or hit me. It was an easy manipulation tool at first, but you're sad school girl crush on me is really becoming an inconvenience now"

"You're delusional if you think I chase after you like a sad little puppy dog"

"No sweetheart. Thinking that your unrequited love for me is going to magically 'turn' my 'switch' back on is what's delusional. It was semi entertaining in the beginning but now, well, I'm embarrassed for you" So this is what we were going to do? We were going to stab each other and put salt in the wounds. We knew each other on a level that no one else did, and both of us knew exactly what to say to get underneath the others skin. "I have his memories you know. The pussy version of me. I can see inside him. I can see what he felt. And I hate to be the one to break it to you Elena, but he never loved you. You were just a piece of ass that he didn't have to travel too far to fuck"

"You're a big boy Damon, so how about you start acting like it and quit pretending that 'human Damon' is this whole other person. And even if he were, I'd wager he's pretty lose to resurfacing"

"What the hell would you base that on?"

"Well the fact that you're still in town for one. And secondly, you not only punching a guy in jealousy but kissing me last night" I thought my tone was fairly threatening, but the chuckle that escaped his throat told me he thought otherwise

"Honey, what did I tell you earlier? Don't mistake me thinking your ass looks good in a cocktail dress and wanting to get my cock wet for the night as any indication of feelings for you. I don't love you, hell I don't even like you: I endure you; that is until I can figure out a way to get you out of the picture permanently so I can have _my_ house and _my_ company back."

"And what makes you think I'm not trying to do the exact same thing? Get you out of the picture that is?" He chuckled again

"Elena. You're as shitty a liar as you are a lay" without hesitation, my right hand cocked back and just as I had moment before, I hit him hard in the centre of his face. The veins around his eyes darkened and he bent forward to spit out the blood that had formed in his mouth

"You hit like a girl" He growled

"Well you behave like a child!" I spat at him, reaching my arm back in fury to hit him again. My hand was stopped in mid-air by his own and I desperately attempted to pull it out of his grasp. We stood, dark eyed and fuming at each other for what felt like an eternity. In an unexpected move, my hand was suddenly jerked forward, pulling my body toward him. I didn't know what he was playing at, but after speaking those poisonous words to me, I was absolutely disgusted to feel his hateful lips against mine. I managed to free my arms, positioning them on his rock hard chest and launching myself backwards out of his grip. Once I was free, my hand forcefully slapped him across the face. I was not a violent person, nor had I ever been, but the level of anger that was coursing through my being at this moment was uncontrollable. Never had I experienced this type of anger towards another person, and the rational part of me that was cowering in a corner deep inside of my chest knew that hitting someone, even an asshole, was completely wrong. But the vengeful vampire side, the scorned woman side, the side that was currently in control of my emotions and my actions, didn't care. I had been concerned about me pushing him over the edge; when it had been him to shove me head first off the cliff. He had the same dangerous look on his face as he had a few moments ago, and yet again, his hands grabbed mine and pulled me forward to him; connecting our lips again. He tasted like poison to me; the same lips that once upon a time I had craved, the same lips that I had melted into not 24 hours earlier now seared a burning hole of betrayal into my own. I struggled out of the prison he had created with his arms and once again, slapped him across the face. His hand flew up to the cheek I had hit and he flinched in pain.

"Stop hitting me!"

"Stop kissing me!"

"Well stop looking so hot when you're angry!"

"Well stop making me angry!" In a scene reminiscing an old western, we stood, staring each other down, both completely unsure of what to do next. It was clear though that the fight was over, and neither of us was going to draw any more weapons. The cloud of rage was beginning to fade and all that was left was a looming migraine. My hands moved up to my temples and I closed my eyes for a moment, wishing myself into a better frame of mind that was more in control of myself. There was too much between us. There were too many things left unsaid and too much history that whenever I was around him it all seemed to morph into this irrational passion that manifested into anger, and I couldn't do it anymore. No, I wouldn't do it anymore. The shame of my morals being violated from physically attacking him was starting to flood my thoughts, and it was the last thing I could handle right now. "Let's go"

We drove the rest of the way into town in complete silence and I prayed to whatever deity was listening that our roadside heavyweight title was the worst part of the trip. Hopefully, Bree would give us whatever 'information' she had and we could be back on our way home as soon as possible. One thing was for sure, I was going to sleep the entire car ride home so I didn't have to so much as look in Damon's direction.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter Nine- The Ace and The Open Road

Nothing much had changed in the small yet charming bar since I had been here a few months ago; but Damon and I were certainly different people. The establishment was busier than I would have expected for late in the evening on a Sunday night, but it was clear that this place was home to a lot of the townsfolk. Bree had a quiet calm about her that was undeniably infectious; and people tended to be drawn to it. We all needed that in our lives. I was walking as almost a shadow to Damon but kept far enough away to keep myself comfortable. I didn't have the home field advantage like I did when I was in public in Mystic Falls, and considering the car wreck of an encounter that we had just been through, I wasn't exactly in the best control of myself. Better to be safe than sorry. We hadn't even made it to the bar yet before Bree spotted us from across the counter and made almost inhuman strides in order to welcome us. The joy on her face at seeing us was touching; and seeing her warm smile again reminded me of just how much I had liked her when we had met.

"You're a half hour late Salvatore. You're losing your touch" She greeted with a contagious grin on her beautiful chocolate face. Damon wasn't amused by her light and playful address and I sensed from his tense body language that my hopes of an easy and pleasant meeting with Bree were going to be unfound.

"And you're looking old. Seems we are both slowing down" He grumbled, brushing past her and making his way to the bar. He was pissed; and clearly in need of a stiff drink, but that was no reason to be unbearably rude to an old friend. Bree watched him disappear to the bar then immediately flicked her head in my direction; asking the question of what was wrong with him with her dark brown eyes.

"Don't ask" Was all I could manage with the shake of a head. "It's lovely to see you again"

"You too Elena. You have no idea how much it warmed my heart to hear your voice this afternoon. I owe Mr. Sullen over there a swift kick in the ass for conveniently leaving out the part of you being okay"

"Forgive him. He's not himself lately" I told with the raise of an eyebrow. The all-knowing look she gave me told me everything I needed to know: she was worried about him. Her head jerked to the left of her shoulder as she guided me from the crowded room to the side. It was strange, standing in the bar and looking around, I hadn't even noticed it, and even as we approached it I hadn't realised there was a brightly lit green booth there until we were sitting down in it. My eyes darted around the room, surveying my surroundings, and as my eyes found her, Bree was looking visibly frantic as she sat opposite me

"Quickly, we don't have much time. Tell me, is his humanity still off?"

" _Bree_ " I whispered in a hush. She was a witch who was well versed in the supernatural, surely she must know that even in a crowded bar Damon could hear us from across the room

"The booth has a spell on it. What is said in here cannot be heard, by _anyone_. And a perception filter spell shifts people's attention. Even when you're looking for it, the spell directs your eyes away. Now quickly…"

"Um…in short yes, but, he has been displaying some emotion"

"What kind?"

"Anger, vengeance, jealousy"

"The typical go to when the switch is acting faulty…" She paused for a moment, taking in the information I had given her "You know, the moment I heard your voice my heart instantly filled with relief and faith. I guess a part of me thought that once he knew you were alive, he'd come back"

"It hasn't been that simple unfortunately" I replied with a strained smile. "There has been some positive signs. He got jealous when he saw me with another man last night and attacked him. Then later on he kissed me. But, he's fighting it. The moment he shows even a shred of emotion or vulnerability, he lashes out. To _prove_ that he's unfeeling"

"Okay…Okay…so there's some light at the end of the tunnel" Her response wasn't so much a reply as it was almost a mantra of reassurance to herself. Her eyes drifted over me and into the crowded bar where she watched Damon sullenly sipping his drink and subtly searching for us. He had to know about the booth, so he had to know that's where the two of us were. "I'll be honest with you girl. I've been terrified. Before I knew that you were alive, I had lost all hope of him coming back. Now, at least he has a chance"

" _Why_ does everyone keep saying that? I don't have magic powers, I don't have the cure to 'fix' him"

"Of course you do" She chuckled "You have his heart. He loves you more than he loves himself. And that? That is more powerful than anything magic is capable of"

"I'm not so sure" I admitted. I didn't believe that, not completely, but I was emotionally exhausted after our fight.

"Love is the supreme emotion humans have the capacity to feel. It is the purest and strongest thing that exists; it's why it cannot be manufactured. Sure, spells can create infatuation and lust: the _illusion_ of it, but magic does not have the capability to craft true love. And _that_ my dear is why it is such a powerful tool. It's the key to bringing him back to us; you'll see"

"I'm trying" I told sternly. I didn't mean to be abrupt, but I'd heard this speech more than once, and the more times it fell on my ears, the more I felt like I was failing. If it was so powerful and strong, why hadn't it broken him yet? Almost like she had read my mind, Bree provided some insight.

"He scared me Elena. And I'm not talking just being a disapproving friend. I mean, he petrified me to my core. I've seen him with it flipped before. I've seen him back in his 'dark days'. But hell, that was a spring carnival compared to the blackness that I sensed in him when I saw him. I looked into his eyes; I looked deep into his eyes, right down into his soul….and there was nothing" Her hand moved from her lap where it had been resting to the bottle of whiskey that was sitting next to the green table lamp. She poured two glasses and after placing one in front of me and motioning for me to drink, then threw her own down her eager throat before pouring another. "He has wanted revenge on her before….after she killed their father. But that revenge was tangled in anger and hurt and _emotion_. This time, when he came to me a few months ago….there was just _nothing_. The lights were on but nobody was home. He wanted my help again but this time, he just very matter of factly wanted her dead. Not because she had hurt him or caused him pain _or_ killed not only his father and his girlfriend but simply because her existence….I don't know how to explain it…..was….an inconvenience to him or something." I opened my mouth to respond to her but her eyes drifted to Damon again, who was now walking dangerously close to where we were sitting " _Do not tell him a thing"_ was all she said before muttering a few inaudible words under her breath. Almost like a curtain had been lifted, Damon immediately looked in our direction with the predictable scowl on his face, and made his way over. Bree's demeanour instantly changed; her worried eyes were filled with faux joy and her shoulder relaxed out of the tense stumps they had been a mere second ago. A laugh that sounded so genuine escaped her lips and it occurred to me just how well she was at playing her part. By the time Damon reached the booth and began leering down at us, all traces of the conversation we had been having had dissipated.

"Damon! Do you know this girl has never been on a bull before? You gotta bring her down here during the rodeo festival and enter her in our bucking bull competition!" She smiled with the same laugh. God she was good.

"She's a big girl Bree. She doesn't need a chauffeur to come to town" He grumbled as he took a seat in the booth next to me. I could feel the sudden contact of his leg as he sat and his close proximity to me sent a mix of excited and angry shivers across my skin. _Traitorous hormones_ , now was not the time.

"You love that festival though. Do you remember last time when that big fat Indian girl got up toward the end of the night and ended up knocking out three of my bar staff when she got flung off" The upset that engulfed her beautiful features when Damon's face didn't soften at her anecdote was heart wrenching. He truly was a cruel bastard.

"Do I remember my life? Of course I do. I didn't drive all this way to take a trip down memory lane Bree. I came here to get the information I'm _paying_ you for. So if we could just get on with that it would be greatly appreciated

" _Damon_ " I hissed lowly. It wasn't my place, but I somehow still felt responsible for him.

"Is he always this rude and arrogant Elena or does he just save it for his visits with me?" Bree asked, glazing over his insolence without the blink of an eyelash.

"Why on earth would you be asking _her_. She's not my keeper" He growled.

"No, but she is a good girl who just happens to be the best thing that's ever happened to you, so watch how you talk about her. And while we're on the subject, I don't give a shit what is going on in that head of yours; Humanity or not; I'm your friend and you are in _my_ bar, so start treating me with the respect I deserve or I'll have Tito over there stick a wooden chair leg through your sternum" _Ouch_. Bree didn't hold back, and my respect for this commanding woman just surged. He bared his teeth at her in dissatisfaction and shifted in his spot

"I don't need this shit…"

"Quite frankly you do. Because like it or not, you _are_ paying me, and trust me when I say; I've got something you want. Something you've wanted for a very, very long time…"

"And what exactly is that" He barked, simultaneously livid and inquisitive.

"A way to take care of Katherine Pierce" Bree told in a sing song tone " _For good_ ". Silence fell in the booth bubble as the ramifications of the words Bree had just uttered sunk into both mine and Damon's conscious. Was it possible? Was there something Bree had for us that would allow us to live the rest of our lives not having to look over our shoulder for the next kamikaze attack? I was a positive person, but something like that seemed just too good to be true.

"Bullshit"

"When has my word ever been anything other than trustworthy" She stared him down and it was not a question, it was a statement. "You may have the king, queen, jack and ten Damon….But I've got your Ace" We all fell silent again for a few seconds and my brain couldn't help but drift to thoughts of being rid of her. I could see my brother again. Get a place of my own and stop living in the survival camp that was Salvatore Manor. I could have a life again…

"I'm listening" It was a valiant effort to seem cool and collected in this situation, but it was blatantly obvious that he was hanging onto every word Bree had said. Getting revenge on Katherine seemed to be the only thing that motivated him when he was sans humanity, so hearing this, well, that was a game changer, for the both of us. I'm not too sure what I wanted more: to have Damon back for good, or to see Katherine gone forever. To have both well…that would just be a dream come true.

"So obviously we have been looking at her patterns for a few years now. Which towns she has lived in, how long she will stay somewhere before she moves on. We have always attributed it to her getting bored and wanting a new group of people to torture and a new town to set on fire. But after you were here a few months ago I got to thinking. Every vampire has a maker right? The person who turned them. And nearly every single vampire I have ever come into contact with was turned by someone they had a very close relationship with; almost like they were _sired_. Think about it, Katherine turned you and Stefan because she wanted to be with you forever….Katie from Michigan, she fell in love with Phillip in the early 1800's and that's why he turned her. What about Katherine though? She has never uttered a word about who created her…and it's only in very rare cases; like for revenge or to create minions, that someone is turned for an alternate reason."

"Enough with the hypotheticals Bree, where is this going?" He asked impatiently

"What if Katherine wasn't moving from place to place because of restlessness. What if…she was running from someone?"

"Someone who?"

"Her maker" I answered. Bree's eyes lit up when she realised I was on the same track as her. It made complete sense; she had a relationship with the vampire who created her, she ultimately betrayed them and had been hiding ever since. She had to have learned her diabolical behaviour from someone, and it fit into her pattern of creating an army of minions to do her dirty work for her.

"Say you are right, say she's been on the run from her creator. From the information Stefan and I have collated she is old….like…a few centuries. How would we ever begin to try and find out who turned her all those years ago?"

"We wouldn't have to" Bree answered with a simple smile "Because I already know"

" _What_?"

"Katherine Pierce hasn't always been her name. That's why we have never pieced any of this together before now. In 17th century Europe, she was known as Katerina Petrova" I could feel Damon's energy next to me, and he was vibrating at an insanely high frequency. "And the name of the man who turned her was Klaus"

"Well is he still alive? What did she do to him?" I asked, about to jump out of my own skin with excited curiosity. All this time I had been envisioning Katherine as a modern day bullet proof demon; to find out that we may have a secret weapon against her now was almost too much for me to handle.

"He is very much alive; and as for what transpired, I'm unsure, it's crowded in secrecy. What I do know is that he is ancient. There isn't a period in the history of humanity that I haven't been able to place him or his family in. Which means he is very old and _very_ powerful- and that makes getting a hold of him almost impossible" The anticipation I had coursing around my heart sudden staggered at those words, and suddenly it seemed like we were back to square one. How could we utilise a weapon we couldn't reach?

"Great" Damon exhaled, as disappointed as I was that our hopes had suddenly been dashed

"Don't be like that kids" She cooed with a reassuring smile "I may not have been able to reach Klaus. But I _did_ manage to reach one of his closest confidents" My head lifted to look at her and I hadn't even realised it had dropped towards the table in disappointment. Her hand moved from her half empty glass to her bosom where she pulled out a folded white piece of paper and slid it across the table to Damon. "His name is Elijah. And he is expecting your call" Damon stood up to excuse himself almost immediately before Bree grabbed him by the arm "Hon, there is a silencing spell in here for a reason. You can never be too sure who is listening out there. Do it here, there is too much at risk" He nodded in agreement before sitting back down and taking out his cell phone. I couldn't be certain, but I was sure I was his fingers shaking in nervousness as he punched the numbers from the piece of paper into his phone. He seemed shaken, and I could understand why. This was unfound territory in his war against Katherine, and for once, he seemed to be one step ahead. I decided to excuse myself to the bathroom and reduce the size of the audience observing the phone call. I squeezed my way past an uneasy looking Damon and strode into the ladies restroom. Although I could still hear every noise from the bar, it seemed more zen in here which allowed me to gather my thoughts. So much had happened in the last 24 hours, and now this? A possible way to defeat Katherine? Well, that would just be the cherry on the sundae. I had to remain level headed and not let my anticipation get the better of me. Katherine was a piece of work, and I could only imagine just how diabolical the man who made her would be. I had to be ready for anything; and I had to make sure Damon was as well. After splashing some water on my face and drinking in the image of the exhausted looking vampire staring back from the mirror in front of me, I took out my phone to send Caroline a quick text.

" _Made it to Georgia relatively unharmed. Will let you know when we're back on the road. Hope you're having a good night with Bon. Love you xx"_ I should have texted her and let her know we arrived safe when we first pulled up to the bar but I was still fuming over our roadside boxing match that it hadn't even crossed my mind. After a few minutes had passed I walked out of the restroom and back to where I thought the booth should be. Luckily, Bree had seen me coming and lifted the perception filter to guide me. I was surprised to see Damon standing up and putting his jacket on as I reached them.

"What's going on?" I asked, noticing his car keys were in his hand

"You stay here with Bree. I've got a meeting with this _Elijah_ gentleman"

"Where?"

"A farmhouse, a few hundred miles away in Alabama"

"An associate of the most ancient vampire you've ever come across wants to have a meeting with you, in an isolated farmhouse in Alabama?"

"That's what I said"

"No way. I'm coming with you. It could be a trap.."

"All the more reason for you to stay here"

"This entire thing _reeks_ of a setup, there is no way in hell you're going in there alone. Safety in numbers right.."

"Even if it is a trap, you're a young vampire with no fighting experience…"

"I think we both know I can throw a decent punch Salvatore" I said, narrowing my eyes. He stood silent for a moment, thinking through his options, before finally submitting to my insistence of tagging along. Whether he agreed that I was right or thought it easier just to give in, he gave me the nod of approval and picked up his phone off the table.

"Should this meeting go well and your information prove reliable I will make good on my promise of a bonus payment" Was all he said to Bree, and I could tell she was a little wounded by his callousness.

"That's Damon for _thank you_ " I smiled, patting him roughly on the shoulder before pushing him out of the booth so I could give Bree a brief and private goodbye "I will get your cell number from his phone and let you know that we are safe"

'I appreciate that Elena"

"He's not exactly capable of expressing it at the moment but I know he is grateful for your help. And I want you to know that I am as well. You're a wonderful person and I am thankful of how good of a friend you have been to him. He is lucky to have you, and I truly am sorry you have to see him like this. I hope you don't take any of this to heart and know that the real version of him…well…he thinks he absolute world of you" Bree observed me strangely for a moment, looking me up and down and turning her head from side to side

"Strange" She whispered

"What?" I asked confused

"Other than your fangs and the lack of heartbeat in your chest- you possess no vampiric qualities. I didn't think it was possible but I think immortality has made you even _more_ empathetic" I gave her a thankful smile at the compliment "Thank you though Elena. I know who he truly is, and that's why I won't give up on him. But I want you to think about what you just said to me, think deep and hard, and I want you to say it to yourself. I'm not the one who needs to not only hear that but believe it honey….you are. And you need to, because every word of it is true" I was a little shocked at her instructions and quite frankly, a little uncomfortable discussing it with him standing in such close proximity. I knew he couldn't hear us, but his mere physical presence left me feeling unsteady on my feet at her words.

"I'll see you soon" Was all I could manage, before I stepped out of the enchanted booth and walked with Damon toward his car. I pulled out my phone and quickly opened up a new text message.

" _Change of plans Care. Cancel my morning meetings…we are going to Alabama.."_

xx

We had been on the road for around two hours and the darkness of the night seemed to cloak us with a welcome invisibility. I would be lying if I said I wasn't nervous about what was waiting for us at the end of the track; it could be an ambush designed by Katherine herself for all we knew. But I knew Damon felt exactly the same as I did: we had nothing more to lose, so we had to try. Looking out of the window at the blurred dark night, I had no concept of where we were, but I knew it was somewhere between hope and the unknown. Damon and I had been in complete silence since we left the bar, but strangely it wasn't uncomfortable. We were both just too consumed by our own thoughts and as the new Katherine mission came into view; our fight from hours earlier seemed like an eternity ago. I had a million questions swirling around in my mind, and as Damon took an exit off the interstate onto an even darker dusty dirt road, I knew he was the only one who would be able to give them to me.

"Damon….when you were _with_ Katherine. When you were a human…did she ever talk about her past? Where she was from?" It took him a moment to snap out of his mind and address the question I was directing at him. Thankfully, his tone seemed flat yet receiving.

"Not in the slightest. She has always been very secretive, especially about her life. She would constantly tell me that her life before me was insignificant and it wasn't until she met me that she started truly _living_ "

"Smooth" I said with a chuckle

"Oh you have no idea. She is _the_ master manipulator. I must admit though, her lines were like butter back then. I'm not even ashamed to say I've stolen a few of them over the years and used them on women" Ordinarily I didn't enjoy hearing about his past conquests, but the twisted beautiful irony of him using her moves on other women after she turned him was just too amusing.

"Did you ever use any on me?" I asked with a humoured smirk. He eyed me from the side suspiciously, attempting to figure out if I was trying to pick a fight, but the light grin on my face reassured him otherwise

"No. I doubt they'd work on someone like you"

"Someone like me?" If this ended with an insult after I had taken a chance of conversation with him I would not be pleased

"Those types of things only work on women who are trying to fix their inner issues with the approval of men. You'd see through it in a second flat" I nearly choked on my own saliva at the statement. He shifted uncomfortably in the driver's seat before returning his gaze back to the empty road. He was struggling with something and I'd wagered that the compliment wasn't sitting right with him. He had a tendency to fly off the rails anytime he said or did something nice to me lately, which caused me to mentally brace myself for a fall out.

"So when we get there, and it is a trap, what's the plan?" The desperation to change the subject was obvious but I didn't want to argue

"Wing it" He responded with a shrug, causing a small chuckle to escape from my mouth

"Wing it? That's the plan?"

"Yepp" He said with an overpronouciation of the letter p

"Alright well; no matter what happens we just need to stick together alright" No matter what had happened between us lately, and especially the last few hours, I had a strange comfort inside of me that he would have my back.

"Alright" He said softly. We sat in silence again for a few miles and I let my mind enter an almost meditative state as I watched dark blurry objects pass us by "Elena?" There was something about the way he had said my name. Something soothing and familiar.

"Yeah?"

"About….earlier…."

"Damon we don't have to…."

"I know we don't" He interrupted before exhaling the breath I didn't realise he had been holding "But I am…..apologetic…for throwing your….property…..out of the car like that. I wouldn't like it very much if you had done that with one of my books so…sorry I guess"

"Thank you" I said genuinely. It wasn't exactly heartfelt, but he meant it, and he was showing remorse for his actions. It was a step in the right direction.

"And what I said….out on the road….you can't take anything I say seriously….I was just trying to hurt your feelings…so"

"I know" He paused again for a moment, fighting an imaginary battle I couldn't see

"I..." He began lightly before coughing harshly " _He_ did love you. You should know that" I could sense a wave of emotion threatening to wash over me, but with one deep breath, I composed myself.

"I do" I smiled lightly. There were so many things I wanted to say to him, to get off my chest, but it wasn't the time. It never seemed like the time. Instead, I decided with the less risky road "I guess I…over reacted…and…I'm sorry too. I'm still working on this whole 'controlling my anger' as a vampire thing"

"It's going quite well for you" He laughed, causing a sharp pang in my chest. I hadn't heart that joyful noise from him in such a long time. "It gets easier"

"What?"

"Controlling your emotions. Anger was the one I fought with the most at first as well" His confession was startling, and he seemed to be showing a sliver of human vulnerability in this moment. I suddenly felt like I had to tread on eggs shells so I didn't disturb it.

"How did you reign it in?" I asked lightly

"I met you" And with three words, all the blood drained from my face. My mouth fell open as I continued to stare at him like a wide eyed zombie. "We're here"


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter Ten- Negotiations

Damon was wearing the same apprehensive look on his face that I was, and as we drove down the dusty driveway to the secluded farm house; an impending fear of doom overcame me. We had no idea what we were walking into, and I began to panic that we hadn't thought this plan all the way through. Wing it: that was what we were to do if something went wrong, and that did not sit very well in my stomach. I trusted Damon, I trusted him even though I possibly shouldn't. I just prayed that we weren't about to make a huge mistake. His car came to a stop a few steps away from an unnervingly decayed barn and as the moonlight seeped in through the windows, we both sat in preparatory silence. The air in the car was thick, and although I needed him to calm my nerves and reassure me that everything was going to be alright; I knew that was far beyond his emotional range at the moment. I took a deep breath and closed my eyes; mustering up every ounce of courage I had access to, and decided I was as ready as I was ever going to be.

"Elena" Damon said in an almost whisper, breaking me out of my meditation. I looked over to him and was a little surprised to see how vulnerable and nervous he looked. I knew him, and even in his current form, he didn't like to go into any situation blind…this must be killing him more than it was killing me. "If things….don't go our way in there. If things go bad…"

"Wing it. I know" I smiled

"Well yeah, but I was going to say. If it does, I want you to know….I'm not like…going to throw you under the bus or anything. I haven't exactly given you much reason to trust me lately…" I laughed lightly at the statement, but I knew what he was trying to convey to me.

"True. But I've got your back in there, and I know you have mine" He nodded in understanding and after a few more seconds, he gave me the look that told me he was ready. We exited the vehicle and made our way over to the dimly lit front door, and I noticed the quiet patter of footsteps inside. The corroded front door was whisked opened revealing a brawny looking vampire with an angry look on his face. This already smelt trouble. Although, if Klaus was as old and powerful as Bree had portrayed him to be, it would make sense that his associate would travel with a security detail.

"Who are you" I immediately despised the sound of his gruff and accusing voice, and the fact that it was a demand and not a question sent a shiver of distain across my skin.

"Damon. I'm looking for Elijah" With one simple sentence I could tell just by the sound of his voice how much this guy was annoying him. I hadn't been around many vampires other than the Salvatore brothers, but now that I was one, I could see how a competition for dominance could quickly get out of hand.

"Who is the girl? According to my information his meeting is with 1; there was no mention of a tag along"

"Why don't you run along to your boss and tell him that I'm here, The girl is none of your concern" Damon spat at him through gritted teeth. I could sense purely from their body language that this may just come to blows before we even got past the threshold

"Listen you little _prick_ , I don't follow your orders. Watch your tongue before I rip it out through you eye socket…" I began bracing myself to tear them apart, regardless of where we were or who we were meeting, Damon Salvatore was not spoken to like that by anybody. And he was likely to rip his heart out just to prove a point. Thankfully, before the need to interfere occurred, a deep sing long English voice bellowed out to us from behind the brawn.

"Now Connor…is that anyway to speak to our guests?" The man, Connor I guess his name was, instinctively bowed his head in embarrassment at the words and I wondered what sort of person could intimidate him that much. He turned his body slightly and revealed a very distinguished and dapper looking man approaching us from the hallway. He was in his early 30s when he was turned, but he wore it well. His dark smooth hair was matched by deeply brown and kind eyes and the three piece suit he wore cut around his attractive physique well. He greeted me with a warm smile, sensing my nerves, and I was instantly comforted by his presence. "My apologies for Connor, he sometimes forgets his manners. But he is correct in the assumption that we were only expecting one of you this evening"

"Please forgive the intrusion, I insisted on coming with Damon. It was a long drive and it is getting quite late" I responded with a genuine smile. He narrowed his eyes at me, drinking every inch of me in, before seemingly accepting my answer

"Of course my dear. Perfectly understandable. Besides, I'd hardly expect you'd allow your love to come to such a meeting alone. You are absolutely beautiful but you do not strike me as foolish" There was a tinge of patronising innuendo in his words but I didn't dare rebuff him. "I'd love to begin our introductions inside but first, if you wouldn't mind, allowing Connor to perform a brief security check"

"A what…" Damon growled

"You understand as trustworthy as you may seem, you are strangers to me, and a man in my position has not gotten to where he is by taking a chance on personal safety. If you will please…it will only take a moment" I smiled politely at Elijah to let him know that we would be obedience, and quickly gave Damon a ' _behave_ ´ look to ensure he complied. Connor patted me down first, under the watchful eye of Elijah, before moving onto Damon. The look on his face was filled with such anger that I thought for a split second he may just snap Connor's neck as he bent down to finish his search of Damon's legs. Once Elijah's guard dog was satisfied that we were not carrying any weapons, Elijah gave us a welcoming smile and asked us to follow him into the house. The house wasn't large, but the peeling wallpaper and dust filled interior gave it the appearance of being much vaster than it was. After passing a few rooms, I noticed a warmness and light coming from the one we entered and was greeted by a roaring fire and two sofa's facing one another in an otherwise empty room. Elijah motioned for me to sit down first, instilling the opinion that he held his old world manners at a high importance, and once Damon had sat closely next to be, he lowered himself onto the sofa opposite us.

"Well Damon, I thank you for making the trip out here on such short notice. I do not believe I heard your name mentioned young lady…" Elijah asked softly

"Elena. I'm..a friend" I responded. He furrowed his brow somewhat before apparently accepting my response

"Wonderful. Well, I'm sure you both will appreciate directness, the hour is late after all" He had taken a pocket watch out of his pocket to glare at the time before returning his attention to us "From what I understand, you possess information which may lead to the location of one _Katerina Petrova_ "

"Let's say for a moment that we do, what do we get in return?" My head immediately flew to look at Damon, shocked at such a rude question. Elijah looked a little insulted by it, but indulged him just the same

"You will get to walk out of this house with your head still attached to your body" He didn't flinch or blink as he delivered his statement and although he was polite and well mannered; it was clear he was not someone to be messed with.

"Before we go on Elijah, I would just like to ensure that we are discussing the same person. Our information is useless to you if the woman in our lives is not the one that you are seeking" I felt Damon tense from beside me, obviously frustrated that I was engaging in this conversation, but it was clear that Elijah was not the type of man who could be intimidated into submission. He was a mediator, and I was much better at dealing with that type of person than Damon had the ability to in his current situation. "You are looking for a woman named Katerina Petrova. Now this very well may be the same woman but the name we know her by is Katherine Pierce.."

"It has changed many times over the years, the sentimental side often outweighs her logic and keeps her choosing names with the same letters as her birth name. It makes her somewhat easier to track"

"Let's say for a moment that it is the same woman, and we help you find her. What will happen once you do? What will you do to her?" Elijah eyed me curiously for a moment, and I couldn't help but feel like he was trying to get inside my head.

"Why is that a concern of yours?"

"Because I want to make sure if we do this. If we help each other. That you're going to kill her" The room fell silent, and a part of me wondered if I should have kept my mouth shut. But it was true. The only reason I was here, the only reason either of us were here, was to find a way to make sure Katherine was gone…. _for good_.

"I can't imagine a pure soul like yours Elena would wish death upon another vampire unless that vampire has truly ill-treated her" He waited patiently for my answer and seemed thoroughly engaged in the conversation he was having with me. I don't think anyone had listened so intently to me in quite some time, and it was a little unnerving.

"She has single handily destroyed not only my life, but the lives of those who I hold the closest to my heart. And she has done so in the most callous and cruellest of manners. I am not a hateful person Elijah; but I only wish upon her the exact pain and suffering that she has inflicted on those around me" Elijah and Damon both stared openly at me with surprise and I didn't understand what had caused me to speak so frankly to him. For all I knew he was one of Katherine's operatives, and the words I had just spoken could have signed my death warrant.

"May I say you are so composed and, well, striking, for a vampire so young. You couldn't be more than a few months old"

"How can you tell?" I asked

"A mixture of old age and intuition" He smiled earnestly. He paused for a moment, letting his eyes flicker into the fire before speaking again "To answer your question Elena, I am unsure of what Katerina's fate will be should we be successful in locating her. I cannot promise you her death when her life is not mine to take. Those decisions are left to.."

"Klaus" I nodded. He turned his head sideways to observe me curiously again

"You speak his name without fear child; it is clear you have either not met him or are more foolish than I thought"

"Why should I be fearful of someone who has the same interest as I do. If Klaus's goal is to rid the world of Katherine then he is my ally, not my enemy" A small smile crept across his features and he seemed delighted by my answer

"It is quite a young woman you have found for yourself Damon. We should all be as lucky as you are to have found such an exquisite creature to spend our immortality with" The defensive rebuff I expected from Damon never came, and he seemed to be content with sitting back and letting Elijah and I share the conversation. It seemed to be working, there weren't any indications of impending danger. "How did Katerina…or….Katherine, come to be in your life?" The question appeared to be directed at Damon, and a sudden surge of nervousness crept into my stomach.

"She is my maker" Damon stated flatly. "She is also the person responsible for the death of my father and the immortality of my brother and his girlfriend"

"I am confused. Elaborate if you will"

"She desired both my brother and myself and turned us into vampires. After our transition, her affections were not returned and she has vowed to make our lives a living misery ever since. She began with the murder of my father, followed that up with turning Stefan's girlfriend into a vampire for no other reason than to enjoy her misery, and finished with the attempted murder of Elena. If she did not have vampire blood in her system she would have succeeded"

"I see. And what of her now? Your transition could only have been a few months ago Elena, was this the last you saw of her?"

"Yes. Damon left town the night I was turned and she disappeared at the same time. We haven't seen or heard of her since"

"Curious" Elijah muttered to himself "And proceeding the murder of your father Damon, she did not return to your lives until both your brother and yourself had found a new mate?"

"No"

"So it seems as if she has a particular attachment to you both. As unfortunate as that has been for your sake, I do believe we may be able to use it to our advantage" He promptly pulled his pocket watch out to glare at it again before standing to his feet "I have another engagement in which I must not be late for, but I do believe our meeting tonight will be beneficial for both parties involved. I will speak with Klaus, and discuss our partnership moving forward. In the meantime, if you do come into contact with Katerina before you hear from me, call the number given to you by your friend and update me immediately"

"I can do that" Damon said with a nod. He wasn't often intimidated by people, but I sensed he had a quiet respect for Elijah.

"Thank you again for making the trip" And with that, he swiftly exited the room. I listened to the sound of footsteps, and by my count there were more than just 2 people walking to the vehicle parked at the rear of the house. Elijah, not wanting to take any chances, had obviously had a much larger security detail with him then just Connor at the front door. Damon and I sat in silence for a few moments, absorbing the significance of the moment we had just encountered. We had been prepared for the worst; well at least I had been, and what had transpired instead what a civil discussion and possibly successful partnership that would ultimately result in the total and utter destruction of Katherine Pierce. It was both liberating and terrifying at the same time. We sat, inches apart for what felt like hours, basking in the ambiance of the possibility of freedom, and as I listened to the loud crackles of the fire a few feet away, I couldn't help but smile at the prospect of freedom.

"We should go" Damon finally said, snapping us both out of the moment.

"Yeah" I agreed, lifting myself to my feet and following him out of the room. As we reached the car, Damon looked over the top of his Chevy with a sombre look on his face that I couldn't quite read.

"Hey" He called, locking eyes with me "You did good in there" I smiled in response, partly because I didn't know what to say in return. I hadn't 'done' anything other than tell Elijah the truth, but it seemed that was something he highly valued. Damon and I continued staring at each other, and the flurry of words that rested on the precipice of my tongue begged to be unleashed, but something inside of me couldn't bring myself to say any of them. His eyes were begging me to say something, and just as they had softened enough to lure a response out of me, his pupils widened in shock and a painful gasp erupted from his chest

"Damon?" Something was wrong, his face has turned a ghostly white and he looked like he was about to be sick all over the top of the car. Suddenly, something smashed through the back driver's window, shattering the glass, and I instinctively knew we were under attack. I flew around to the driver's side where Damon was now slumped against the door clutching his chest and as I opened the back door and pushed him onto the back seat, I was hit in the shoulder by something small, sharp and incredibly painful. It slowed me down, but not enough to prevent me tearing the keys out of his hand and jumping into the driver's seat. With the flick of my wrist the engine began roaring and I slammed my foot on the pedal to get us out of here as quickly as possible. Another shot came through the window, missing my head by half an inch, and I manage to tear the steering wheel around to get me out of reverse and into drive. Headlights came into view behind me, our attacker giving chase, and even though I had my foot completely to the floor in Damon's Chevy, the lights were getting closer and closer. I turned my head to judge just how far away they were from us, and noticed the small wound on my shoulder. It felt like I had been shot with liquid hot lava, and the pain that was continuing to surge through my body told me whatever I had been shot with must be made of wood.

"Elena" I heard Damon croak, and as I turned my head to look at him I saw what he was warning me about. The car was gaining on us, but there was now a large SUV up ahead that was in the middle of the road, creating a sort of roadblock. Before I had time to react, the vehicle behind slammed hard into us, causing me to lose control of the car. It was like an out of control roller coaster, we were spinning around and around and around until the car flipped up on its side down the embankment. I hit my head hard on the side of the steering wheel, causing my conscious to flutter in and out of recognition. I couldn't tell where Damon was, and as the car finally came to a screeching halt, I fought with my brain to stay awake. I was hurt, pretty badly, that much I could tell, and my eyes suddenly squinted at the sight of a flickering flame at the hood of the car. I could hear footsteps from the road, the attacker coming down to see if they needed to finish off the job, and I knew we needed to get out of here. I attempted to open the driver's door but it was mangled into oblivion, instead, forcing me to crawl through the window which had been smashed to pieces only moment earlier. I used my limited strength to rip open the back passenger door and grabbed the bloody body resembling Damon that was now resting unconscious on the floor. The shadows from the road were getting closer, and we only had seconds before they reached us. I tried picking him up in my arms but the broken bones and open wound prevented it. Somehow, I managed to pull him onto my back, and used the strength in my spine as support for his mangled body. I could barely walk, and every step I took sent the pain of a thousand deaths over my body; but we had to move. It was stay here and die or work through the pain and get us out of here, and I didn't particularly feel like dying today. Although I was too weak to reach my peak speed, I was thankfully still moving much quicker than the average human, and the draining sounds of footsteps behind me told me our attackers were just that. Human. It was flat farm land I was trudging across, and although the terrain was easier on my broken body, it was also harder to conceal ourselves in. I kept going, shutting out the pain and knowing that I had to continue putting one foot in front of the other, but also growing very aware of the fact that I was close to passing out. I needed to find shelter, I needed to find somewhere to regain my strength, but I wasn't so lucky. I continued, mile after mile across the baron field, and it wasn't until I thought I was about to drop right there and then that structure came into view. It may have well been a house many years ago, but all that was left now were a few wooden panels and a collapsed tin roof. It wasn't the Hilton, but it would do for a few hours. I crawled under the lodging, flicking Damon off my back onto the ground and collapsing on the floor before the darkness took over my vision.

X X X

My eyes flickered open and as they adjusted to the early morning light, it took me a few moments to remember where I was. I could tell from the looming sunlight over the horizon that I had been unconscious for a few hours, and even though I didn't feel like I was going to pass out again, I was still extremely weak. I had various broken bones all over my body that still hadn't healed, and I didn't imagine they would completely until I replenished myself with blood, but that wasn't the main source of my concern. The still burning wound in my shoulder was as painful as when it had first happened, and I realised I needed to get the wood out of me as quickly as possible. I took my belt from around my waist and placed the leather firmly between my teeth, biting down in preparation for the unhygienic surgery I was about to perform on myself. This would hurt. Without hesitation, I pushed my index finger into the open wound, digging around desperately for the splinter that was sending death like pains through me. After a few seconds I managed to locate it, and after various muffled screams, dislodged it from right next to my collar bone. As soon as it was out I felt an instant relief, and upon inspection I saw that it was an intricate bullet carved out of oak. What kind of humans were armed with wooden bullets? The answer was screaming me in the face, but I didn't have time to deal with it right now, if that's what I had been shot with, Damon had been hit with the same, which means he would be in just as much pain as I was right now. I crept over to where I had dropped him hours before, shocked to see that he was still in the same position. He was bloodied up beyond belief, the shattering glass from his car severely wounding his face and exposed skin, with god knows what other injuries. I couldn't be concerned with bones and cuts that I couldn't fix now, I had to find the bullet that had hit him. The longer the wood continued to remain inside of the, the longer it would not only make him weak, but keep him weak. My fingers moved to the bottom of his black shirt, and after raising it up above his belly button I couldn't see an entry point. Foolishly remembering he had had his back turned to our attacker, I rolled him onto his side as gently as I could and managed to find the wound just below his shoulder blade. Although I didn't hold back while tending to my own injury, it made me squeamish to think of sticking my fingers inside his back in search of a wooden bullet. But I knew it needed to be done. I swallowed deeply as I held my thumb and forefinger together and pushed hard inside the opening, nearly vomiting at the sensation of his nerves and muscles around my finger. I hoped he wouldn't gain consciousness in this moment, he was likely to flip out and attack me. I pushed past several organs until I was just around the rim of his still heart and just on the edge, sat the small bullet. A wave of shock overcame me when I realised just how close to his heart it was, and in turn, just how close he had been to death. My fingers began shaking with emotion, and as they started overwhelming me, the bullet kept slipping out of reach. Finally, after coming dangerously close to pushing it through the outer skin of his heart, I managed to curl my fingers around it and extract it.

I threw the bullet on the floor of the shelter we were under and fell back onto my spine, shivering and quivering with uncontrollable emotion. All the adrenaline had gone from me and all that was left was the paralysing realisation of just how close I had come to losing him forever. He wasn't the man I had fallen in love with, and some of the things he had said and done to me in the last few weeks were almost unforgivable; but the thought of him being gone, the thought of him being wiped from the earth completely and us never getting the chance to have our bliss was too much. I continued to sit on the floor, openly weeping for longer than I could remember. I knew we weren't safe out in the open like this, especially with the both of us being so weak, and thanks to my phone being back in the car I couldn't call for help. But I couldn't leave him to find one. I _wouldn't_ leave him until he woke up and I could look into those icy blues again.

X X

The sun had begun rising when I fell back asleep, and although I knew that I shouldn't, I had curled up next to Damon to get some shut eye. I selfishly ran my thumb along his bloodied cheek bone a few times and pretended for just a minute that nothing was as it truly was. I yearned for the days when I could touch him freely. When I could talk to him freely. But they were gone. I knew we could get back there someday, but the longer I went without it, the further away it seemed.

I was awoken to the sounds of birds in the not too distant farm land and the sun in the sky told me it was late morning. The likelihood of stumbling upon a blood bank in rural Alabama was slim to none, and I knew the only shot I had of regaining enough energy to get to either a phone or a vehicle was to leave the unconscious Damon and get some animal blood. There had to be at least a cow or sheep around here, and although it was taste like warm dirt, it would give me the little energy boost I needed to get us out of here. I lifted my hand to my sternum and neck and noticed that I still had some glass from the accident lodged in the various cuts so I busied myself in removing them. I swiftly turned my head toward Damon when I heard a jagged cough coming from him and saw that his eyes were open. I unconsciously flew over to his side to assess the state he was in, but stopped myself from getting uncomfortably close considering our current lack of relationship.

"Damon?" I couldn't hide the worry in my voice "Are you alright?" A small nod was all he could manage in response as he attempted to lift himself up from the slump his body was in "Don't do that, you're too weak!"

"I'll be okay" He croaked, his hand beginning to roam his still bloodied and cut body

"Do you think you will be alright for about a half hour? I need to find us some blood and hopefully a way out of here" He nodded his head again but my stomach still felt unsettled. He was in bad shape, and to be honest, so was I, but I fared way better than him so it was up to me to step up to the plate and pull us through this. "I didn't want to go until you woke up….I….alright….I'll be as quick as I can" With one last look back at him, I crawled from underneath and decrepit house and set out across the field.


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter Eleven- Smash

It had taken me much longer than usual to walk the few miles to find a house, but slowly but surely I got there. I felt awful compelling the sweet old woman who had answered the door, but times were dire and I desperately needed her help. I made a mental note of her location so I could have her vehicle returned to her once we had safely gotten out of here, and with her car keys and few pints of her billy goats blood in hand, I got into her pick up and began the journey back to Damon.

I had almost driven past the shack it was so obscured. I hadn't realised last night how hidden behind overgrown shrubbery it was, but I was also possibly borderline delirious after the accident so it made sense I wasn't completely aware of my surroundings. I pulled the vehicle up as close as I could get it and hurried back inside to Damon to give him a drink. He would be disgusted by the animal blood I had on offer for breakfast, but my morals wouldn't allow me to compel the kind women to give me her own, and the goat was all I had to work with. At this stage it was better than nothing. I was desperately needing even just a sip for myself but he was more injured than I was, and I knew he needed the whole amount of limited blood I had on offer. The second we passed a blood bank or a farm that I could get more from I would fulfil my own needs, but for now, he was the priority. His eyes lit up a little when he saw me coming towards him carrying a jug, smelling the warm blood I had with his name written on it.

"Sorry, it took me longer to find a house than I thought" I told him, offering the jug to him. He extended his right hand to grasp the handle but nearly dropped it when the weight deemed too heavy for his weak grip. I dropped down so I was at the same level as him and held the jug up firmly to his lips, motioning for him to tilt his head back and drink. Without hesitation, he eagerly let the warm liquid slip down his throat, before coughing wildly as it hit the back of his pallet.

"Animal?" He choked, screwing up his blood soaked face

"It was all I could find. Just _drink_ " I cooed, watching as he followed my direction and tilted his head again. He drank most of it, and I noticed a slight change in the deathly pale colour of his skin before and stopped and looked at me

"Now you" He croaked

"I'm fine. You need it all, come on.." I cooed again, pushing it back to his lips. He greedily finished the jug before falling back against the wood paling. I gave him a few moments to let it start to nourish him slightly before placing the jug back down and grabbing his arms to lift him up. We needed to get out of her, we had overstayed our welcome as it was and there was no doubt that Caroline and Stefan were frantically worried about us. How was I even going to explain this one. I hadn't even told Damon about his car, but I would save that conversation for when he was feeling better. I struggled to hold his limp weight on my broken body but managed to get him securely inside the pick-up before getting into the driver's seat. Morally, I had felt awful about taking the vehicle, but we needed a way out and my purse and phone were back in the wreck. Come to think of it, we may have the local police searching for us by this point if they found the IDs. I'd have to get to a phone quick and get Stefan to help me sort out the mess. With the choked roar of the engine we were on our way, and I couldn't quite believe just how we had managed to get out of that one alive. One thing was for sure, whenever Damon and I were together; we were a magnet for danger.

X X X

We had been on the road for a little over two hours before I started feeling completely drained. I was weak and starving, and Damon had been passed out in the passenger seat ever since we had gotten on the interstate. I couldn't make it all the way back to Virginia like this, I couldn't even make it the hundred miles or so it would take us to reach Bree, so I made a decision, one that didn't sit quite right with me, to stop in at the next town and compel my way a blood bag and a bed. I pulled in to the Danny's Highway Motel just off the interstate and apprehensively compelled the Front Office Clerk for a suite. Damon was much weaker than I and he couldn't drive, and this seemed like the best plan to ensure we'd be back in Mystic Falls by nightfall. I climbed back into the drivers seat of the pick up and drove around to Block D where the room was, and after putting the vehicle in park, lightly shook Damon awake to let him know what was going on.

"Where are we?" He asked sleepily, opening his eyes and yawning

"Somewhere in Georgia. I couldn't keep driving like this. I need to rest, and more importantly, I need to _eat_ "

"Animal blood didn't do it for you huh?"

"I didn't have any" I told him as I removed the keys from the ignition. I could feel him staring at me intensely and turned my head to face him. He was waiting for an explanation "I'm fine I'm just…weak and hungry"

"Why didn't you have any?"

"There wasn't much and you were in worse shape than I was" I offered with a shrug "Come on, I'll get you inside." He was walking much better he was when I had gotten him into the truck but he was still struggling, and at this point, so did I. I didn't know if I had the capacity to compel anyone else today but I was in dire need of blood: human blood, and I knew I needed to get it soon if I was going to have the energy to get us back. I got Damon into the room and left him on the bed before going back downstairs to the truck. The Front Office Clerk had told me the town hospital was only a few blocks away, and thankfully, it was small enough that I didn't have to go far before being able to 'persuade' a nurse for five or so bags of O negative. Once I was safely back in the pick-up, I wanted nothing more than to sink my teeth into one and revitalise my severely weak and dehydrated body, but drinking blood in the car park of a hospital was a sure fired way to draw unwanted attention, so I controlled my hunger until I pulled back outside Block B a few moments later. I moved as quickly as I could with the precious cargo until I was safely inside the room. The look of desperation was written all over my face as I slammed the door and Damon sat up from the bed.

"Jesus Elena.." He commented, taking in my appearance "Did you get it?"

"Yes" I breathed deeply, throwing the stash on the bed and hungrily grabbing the closest one within reach. I ripped open the top and poured the merlot coloured liquid down my throat, feeling instant relief as it began coursing through my veins. Damon mimicked me, moaning lightly at the taste of our live source, and just as quickly as I had drunk the first, I finished my second. It would take a few hours until I was back to normal, but at least I felt like I could breathe again. I closed my eyes, letting the vitalising sensation of blood take over me, before sitting down and picking up the phone in the room. I dialled the number for Caroline's cell, thanking the lord that she had had the same number since high school.

"Hello?" She answered frantically

"Caroline. It's Elena"

"Elena!" She screeched, before I could hear the sound of tears rolling down her cheek "Oh thank god! Stefan has been on the phone with the county Sheriffs office in some hick town in Alabama! Apparently Damon's car was found completely wrecked on the side of the road but you guys were nowhere to be found! Stefan told them it had been stolen that night to call off the dogs. Oh my god Elena, where are you? What happened? Are you alright?"

"It's a long story. We're safe now. We're at a hotel just inside the border of Georgia. I need to rest for a little while then we'll be home and we'll fill you in"

"Elena!" She protested

"Please Care just…I'll be home in a few hours and I'll tell you everything. I need to go"

"Elena!' She protested again

"I love you, I'll see you soon" I told before hanging up. I didn't have the strength to go into the events of last night, she would want to know every single detail and I just didn't have it in me right now. It was selfish to hang up without explaining, but I had to do it. Damon gave me an all knowing look from across the room and it was only then that I had noticed he had cleaned himself up while I was gone. I was still a complete and utter wreck. I stood up before making my way into the bathroom to take a shower. I was covered from head to toe in blood. My blood, Damon's blood, and the remanence of the O negative I had just drank which was dripping down my chin. Not to mention the soot and dirt and god knows what else all over my body. Here I was thinking the meeting with Elijah would be the dangerous part of the evening, I never could have imagined the events that unfolded after he left. I stripped my clothes off and stepped inside the small shower, letting the warm water wash away the evidence of the night before. There were only two answers to my question: either Elijah had betrayed us, or Katherine was having us followed. No matter which way I thought about it, I always landed back on the latter. She was trailing us, or at least having a pack of her compelled minions trailing us, and whether or not she knew it was Elijah, she knew our meeting had to do with her, and she gave the order to have us taken out. Why else would humans have wooden bullets? Why else would they be shooting them at two vampires? It was the only explanation, and by god if it didn't scare the living hell out of me. We had been Katherine free for many months now, and that was because we weren't searching for her. But last night, the first time in months we had poked the bear, someone had tried to kill us, and that was not a coincidence. I'd lost count of how many times it was now that I had nearly died, and scarily, it didn't shock me anymore. What had shocked me was how close Damon had come last night. If that bullet had been even half an inch to the right, I'd be carting a rotting vampire corpse back to Mystic Falls right now, and that didn't sit well with me at all. Was all of this worth it? It seemed like if we left her alone, she left us alone, so was teaming up with Klaus and Elijah really worth the risk? I had hoped the steaming shower would help clear my mind but it only made me more confused, and even though I was feeling better, I still needed rest before the drive ahead.

I didn't much like the thought of putting my dirty clothes back on after getting cleaned up, and thank fully there was a bath robe hanging in the shower. I draped it over my wet skin and took a look in the mirror at the absolute mess that was staring back at me. Hopefully in a few hours the blood would have healed up all evidence of the car accident, and until then I didn't particularly want to look at my reflection. I opened the door of the bathroom and walked back into the room to see a shaken looking Damon sitting on the edge of the bed. He was as white as a ghost with his hand resting on his chin, and panic automatically coursed through my stomach at the sight of him.

"What's wrong?" I asked in shock, rushing over to sit on the second double bed that was opposite him. It seemed like it took him a little longer than usual to register the fact that I was there; that or he was just ignoring me; but something seemed so off about him. "Seriously Damon you're freaking me out"

"Why didn't you have any blood?" He asked suddenly, his eyes ripping back into focus and staring at me straight in the face

"Huh?"

"At the farm. You didn't have any blood. Why?" Hadn't we already been over this?

"I told you earlier. There wasn't much there"

"So.."

"So, you were weak. I waited" He didn't seem satisfied with my answer, it was the opposite; it actually seemed like it angered him a little "It's really not a big deal Damon"

"You needed it just as much as I did. Why didn't you have any?"

"Seriously? I told you why?"

"Yes but you're not answering my question properly"

"I didn't have any blood because you were weak and were in far worse shape than I was so I…I just gave it to you…that's a perfectly fine answer"

"No it's not. I don't understand. A vampire's most basic instinct is to feed. A vampires most powerful urge is to feed. _Why_ did you give me the blood.."

" _Because you needed it!_ " I screeched in frustration. What about this wasn't he getting? He was weaker, he had more wounds, he had more to heal; it wasn't rocket science

"I saw your face as you came through the door before Elena. You were painfully starving. I haven't seen a vampire that weak from hunger in a long time.."

"So what?"

"So why did you give it all to me"

"Because..I don't know….I'd rather just deal with the hunger than to watch you in pain" We were going round and round in circles, but something about what I had just said seemed to effect him. He rose to his feet and began pacing back and forth across the caramel shagged carpet and muttering inaudible words to himself. He was really beginning to frighten me.

"It just doesn't make sense…I just…..why….I just…." He sounded like a crazy person, and I didn't know what on earth to do. He stopped in his place for a moment, turning his head back to where I was sitting on the bed and staring down into me with the flames of a thousand fires "And you saved me…when we were being attacked…you threw me in the car…I remember…and you drove….you crashed….they must have been coming after us…the must have been coming and what….did you carry me?" His voice was bellowing with anger and although it was a recanting of the events of last night, it sounded like he was accusing me of something. Like he was _accusing_ me of saving him, like it was such a horrible thing.

"You were knocked out" I managed to answer. My words set him off again and he started pacing again "Damon…what is the matter with you?"

"You carried me? You were hurt yourself? And you carried me. You could have just left me there….why didn't you leave me there?"

"Why on earth would I leave you there?" I questioned in disarray

"I wouldn't blame you…..after everything I've done to you….you should have left me there….if it were me…"

"Well it wasn't you. It was me. And no matter how much of an _ass_ you have been….I could never leave you in the backseat of a burning car"

"Why!" He screamed, throwing his hands up in the air

"Because I love you too much. And even when you're at your darkest moment….I will still be there for you…. _always_ " His eyes began to well and he dropped down to his knees. His hands moved up to the nape of his neck and as he wrapped his hands around his exposed skin, he began rocking back and forth.

"Oh my god….oh my god… _fuck_ …..oh my god" My instincts took over and I flew off the bed, my feet carrying me over to him in a mere instant. His eyes were closed but he was continuing to rock himself to and fro while murmuring obscenities. I didn't understand what was happening or what he was going through but every part of me needed to comfort him in that moment.

"Damon please….what's happening….talk to me?" I begged, placing my left hand on his moving shoulder. He opened his eyes as soon as my skin connected with the fabric of his shirt and he stared at me for a few seconds before I saw his eyes change. A flutter of flickers appeared before they turned as light as I had ever seen them before his pupils were surrounded by the flurry of teardrops that started falling down his cheek

"Elena" He whispered before his eyes grew wide like a deer caught in the headlights "Oh my god….Elena….what have I done?" He started rocking frantically again, causing my hand to slip off his shoulder "Everything…everything I've done…..all those people…..what have I done…."

" _Please_. Talk to me!" I pleaded again before the sudden realisation of what was happening smacked me dead in the face.

"And you! Everything I've said…everything I've done…Elena…..oh my god….I'm so sorry….I'm so sorry" He was like a bucking bull, thrashing his torso in an out of control rhythm which I felt powerless to stop "I'm so sorry…..I'm so sorry…" The tears were really falling now, his face was flooded in them. "I'm so sorry….I'm so sorry..."

"It's okay" I cooed, unable to think of anything else to say. I knew to a certain degree what it felt like, to face everything you had been running from, but I hadn't flipped my switch like him. I couldn't comprehend the overpowering flush of emotions he was experiencing right now, and I didn't know how to begin helping him through it.

"It's not okay…..god Elena…..it hurts…..it hurts so much….make it stop….. _please_ " He was breaking my heart. Seeing him in this much pain was tearing my insides apart "Please make it stop….god…..please….it hurts…..turn it off…..make it stop…I need to turn it off" I knew his emotions were searing into his soul, I knew he was being ripped to shreds, but he couldn't go back now, he couldn't flip it back. I wouldn't let him. I fell down to my knees so I was level with him and took his face to my cheeks

"I know it hurts baby…I know it does….but you've got to stay with me…look at me" I brought his face close to mine "You've got to push past it, you can do this Damon…I'm right here with you"

"It hurts…it hurts" He gasped, struggling to breath. I couldn't comprehend just how much 6 months of emotions, all swirling through your body at the same time, felt like. The anger, the guilt, the sorrow; all of it, a vortexing kaleidoscope of feelings smashing through every barrier he had erected simultaneously.

"Stay with me Damon….it's going to be alright…I promise you it's going to be alright" I pulled his face towards mine and placed a reassuring kiss on his tear stained lips. He was so close, closer than he realised, he just needed to push through the pain. I let go of his face and held it in place a few inches from mine, staring deep down into his eyes and willing him to go on. They had changed. No longer were they the eyes of a soulless monster, they were bright and alive.

" _I can't_ ….it hurts too much…I can't…" I held his eyes in mine and forced him not to look away

"Look at me….stay here…stay right here with me…..do you feel that? Do you feel what we have? Hold onto it Damon….I know you're feeling the pain….I know you're feeling all of it, but _feel_ us instead. Feel how much I love you" I took his hand into mine and pulled it tightly to my chest over my heart "Stay here" There was a battle going on in his eyes, but suddenly, as I held his hand firmly on my chest, it seemed as if the war was over.

"How can you say that? After all that I've done. After how much I've hurt you…..how can you sit here and still love me…."

"I don't have a choice. It seems to be an always and forever type deal"

"You can't possibly….not after everything…especially how much your life has changed for the worse since meeting me.." I gripped his hand tighter to let him know I meant every word I was about to say

" _I love you_ " as soon as the words left my lips he tore his hand away from my chest and pulled me up so we were both standing on our feet before wrapping his arms around me waist and pulling me firmly into him. There was no confusion in his eyes now, no internal conflict; all that was staring back at me was lust. His lips crashed into mine, and for the first time since he had been back in Mystic Falls; they felt familiar. I opened my mouth to give him better access, but our fury for one another wouldn't allow us the type of contact we needed at this angle. Almost reading my mind, he lifted my body up from his grip around my waist and carried me the few steps to the bed I had been sitting on only moments before and threw me down roughly. I huffed lightly at the displeasing break of contact between us, but he lowered himself onto me in an instant and re-joined his mouth to mine. His hand moved from his side up the side of my bath robe before yanking it open in the middle of my body and revealing my flushed skin. The palm of his hand slid up past my navel and took my breast into the centre, causing a rough moan to erupt from my dry throat. My body was overly eager, I hadn't had sex since that day in Damon's office before my entire life had changed after all, but it wasn't just my months long dry spell that was sending me into overdrive, it was something totally different. I had never been touched like this, not as a vampire at least, and I could feel _every single fibre_ of it. I could feel the small groove of his fingerprints as his digits circled and pulled expertly at my erect nipples. I could feel each tiny bump in his lower and bottom lip as our mouth continued their erotic dance. I could feel every hair on his face brush wildly against my chin. And I could feel one of many orgasms brimming in my already wet sex. He hasn't even inside me yet, but if this is what sex as a vampire was like, I didn't know how on earth I was ever going to stop.

Damon tore his mouth away from my already chapped lips and moved his way down to my sweet spot: the nape of my neck. He went to work on the side just below my ear lobe that he knew drove me insane, and with every wet kiss and every dangerously hard bite, I was threatening to blow. I was growing edgy, enjoying every quip his mouth and hands were giving me but needing all of him at the same time. I had waited for this moment for so long, I had dreamed of it, and as much as I wanted to relish in it, as much as I wanted to savour every kiss and every touch, I need him inside me. I needed every last inch of him.

" _Damon_ " I moaned in exasperation "I need you…..i need you so bad right now"

" _Not yet baby_ " He answered between licks, sliding his tongue down the collar of my neck and continuing until my right nipple was between his teeth. He bit down hard before spinning his tongue swiftly in a glorious circle. My hips reacted by raising my torso towards the ceiling, and with one slip of his digits inside my dripping wet folds, then came plummeting back down onto the bed. I couldn't control the garish moans that the mixture of his fingers and his tongue were eliciting from my throat, and as his thumb moved from the outside of my walls and onto my clit, I knew I was about to unfold underneath him. He could feel my contractions starting to pulse and his cock grew cement hard from inside his jeans at the occurrence. I felt him move his free hand down to the prison of fabric between us, and without breaking contact with me, he expertly freed himself from them. I was too far gone, somewhere between pent up sexual frustration and my inevitable release, and with one last flick of my nipple with his wet tongue, I came completely undone. My orgasm began reaching new heights as he plunged his huge cock deep inside my already contracting walls, and I felt his body shake with bated anticipation as I continued convulsing around him. It was like nothing I had ever imagined existed. Every part of me was filled with an electric sensation of extraordinary pleasure, even in places I didn't know were inside of me. It was a type of euphoria that in my dizziest daydreams I couldn't describe, and the high was so unattainable that I didn't want to ever return to the ground. Damon lifted my torso up, completely unaware of the heights I was reaching, and drove himself deeper and deeper inside of me. I wanted him like this, I wanted him deep inside of me like this for the rest of eternity, and as I began to float back down into the reality of the room, my second little death swept in from my groin and hoisted me back up. It felt like my sex was going to blast us off from the bed, and as I began cumming with a forceful vitality that I couldn't capture, he fell apart inside of me. His hands gripped me so tight it felt like my skin was seconds from tearing away, but in that moment, I couldn't care. In that moment, we were a single entity, and all the pain and angst from our lives seemed to melt away.

He collapsed onto me, dropping his entire dead weight onto my own limp form, and our panted breaths filled the room as we both attempted to recover from the magic that had just occurred. After a few minutes, I heard the flutter of his eyes opening, and I mustered what little strength I had left in my body to do the same. There they were, the eyes that I had been longing to see for the longest of time. The eyes that had haunted my dreams for the past 6 months' worth of lonely nights. And finally, they were staring back at me.

"What….in the hell….was that?" I asked in wonderment. And I really did want to know….


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter Twelve- Plane Rides & Time

"What…in the hell…. was that" I gasped in bewilderment at him. It hadn't been posed as a question, it was more of a statement, but I still did want to know and understand the powerful act that had just occurred between us. Whether it was just that sex was completely different as a vampire, or that there was so many pent up emotions tied to the two of us that had been brimming at the surface for so long, or a mixture of both of those things; the last few minutes had been the most enigmatic of my existence. He continued staring down at me, and although his eyes were his own, and although I knew it was him, the real him, he looked shaken. "Damon?"

"I…" He squeaked strangely and blinking incredibly fast resembling a robot that had just been rebooted. I furrowed my brow and stared at him, attempting to understand what was going on inside his mind. The entire thing had to have been unbelievably overpowering for him. But before I could pose another question of begin to formulate my own theory he pushed his body up from mine and reached for the jeans he had torn from his torso only a few moments earlier. As he pulled them on, he completely dodged the section of the bed I was laying on and with one last obtuse look over his shoulder, he barrelled out of the door. It tinged my heart a little to see him outwardly run away from what had just happened between us, but in an attempt to see things from his perspective, I concluded that he may just need a little time alone to sort through it. He had, after all, just experienced 6 odd months' worth of emotions in the space of a few minutes, that has to take a lot out of a person. I wished I could be more of a help to him, that he could talk to me, but sometimes, you really just need isolation, and I needed to respect that. I was certain that he hadn't flipped the switch back so I was confident I shouldn't be concerned, so all I could do at this point was to wait for him to return so we could get back on the road. We would need to talk about it eventually. We would need to talk about everything. About us, about what this meant, about what we both wanted. But that was a conversation for another day. Right now, I had to regain my strength, we needed to get back on the road, and we needed to find answers about the two humans who had nearly killed and barbecued us last night. Add the potential partnership with Elijah and Katherine's maker into the mix and we had enough drama and angst to fill our time without putting our on again off again romance into the mix. One problem at a time. I let my head fall back into the pillow and curled up into the foetal position in an attempt to get my tired and sore body comfortable. I needed sleep, and then I would deal with the constant mess my life seemed to be in. As I closed my eyes and let my exhausted body melt into the cheap rent by the hour motel room bed, I hoped that when I woke I would have the strength to proceed.

I managed to nod off and fell into a deep and undisturbed sleep. Since my transition, I had rarely made it more than a few hours before waking up from some form of terrible nightmare, but for some reason, I slept soundly. It wasn't until a car in the parking lot of the motel backfired loudly that I arose from my deep slumber, and looking at the clock, I saw that it was nearly nightfall. I yawned uncontrollably as I sat up and stretched my arms; noticing that I felt nearly back to full capacity. The car accident and proceeding hunger had taken more out of me than I had realised and I was thankfully feeling much better. My eyes wandered around the motel room, noticing that everything was just as it had been when I had fallen to sleep a few hours ago- a sign that Damon had still not returned. I couldn't imagine he would leave me here, although, I couldn't be sure of anything these days. I didn't know how much of his old self that come back with him when he had flipped the switch, and heck, I didn't even know if it had been successful. For all I knew he was halfway back to Virginia without me right now. I decided to call home and see if they had heard from him, and if nothing else, ask for some advice. I picked up the handle of the old school room phone and dialled Caroline's cell number, more mentally prepared to have the conversation of what the hell had happened with her now that I had gotten some rest.

"Hello?" She answered, her voice sounding a little less frantic then earlier but worrysome none the less

"Care, it's me" I said gently, bracing myself for the lecture I was about to receive.

"Elena! Where are you? Are you nearly home?"

"No I'm still at the motel. I needed to recharge my batteries for a few hours before we got back on the road"

"Why did you need to do that? Were you hurt?"

"Mildly, yes" I admitted

"Elena, you've got to give me more than that. I am so angry at you but crazy worried at the same time..."

"I know, I'm sorry about earlier. I wasn't in a good way and didn't have the strength to talk"

"Well your 'batteries' are recharged now so you best start explaining yourself..." I chuckled at her words; she was scarily adorable when she was upset

"Cliffs notes version? Bree had information for us on Katherine, we went to meet someone relating to her past and have formed an...alliance I guess you could call it. After he left, Damon and I were on our way back to the car to head home when we were ambushed. Humans, with wooden bullets. Damon was hit pretty bad, as was I, and while giving chase the car drove us off the road. I managed to get us both out of there and we hid out in an old barn type thing until morning. I compelled a woman to give us her car this morning but after a few hours on the road I was just too weak to drive anymore so we've both been recovering here.." I finished my little spiel, conveniently leaving out the part of Damon's humanity possibly having returned and the most powerful sex of my entire life.

The silence on the other end of the line told me that Caroline was completely overwhelmed with the array of information I had given her, but that was to be expected. Then again, when was anything in our lives straight forward and easy? Every time one of us seemed to leave the house it felt like we had a near death experience.

"I just...don't even know what to say. Obviously I have a million questions but I know you won't answer any of them until you get home.." She knew me a little too well "I guess I just want to know if you're okay?"

"I was pretty banged up and very weak but, I'm fine now. Damon was the one who was in the worse shape. He came pretty close to getting a bullet in the heart"

"God. I mean, I despise the man but I wouldn't wish that upon anyone. Actually, now that I think about it..."

"Caroline" I scolded. I knew she was kidding, well, partially at least, but it wasn't something to be joked about.

"I'm glad you're okay...the both of you. Are you coming home now?"

"I will be as soon as I find Damon" I admitted "He hasn't, called Stefan in the last few hours by any chance has he?"

"No we haven't heard from him. Wait, what do you mean... _find_ Damon? I thought you said you had both been resting?" I hated lying to my best friend, I hated it more than anything, but I couldn't tell her what had really happened right now, not until I knew what that meant for us.

"We were. I just woke up from a nap and he's not here. I'm just getting ancy to get back on the road is all" The all knowing 'hmph' on the other end of the line told me she wasn't buying it- I really was a terrible liar. As if the heavens had been listening, the door of the cheap motel room door opened with a sheepish looking Damon walking through from the other side. He gave me a strange look before walking into the bathroom and closing the door "Never mind. Found him"

"Oh. _Good_ " The conversation Caroline could project with one word was incredible. She wanted to know every single detail as soon as I got back to the Manor.

"I'll see you in a few hours" I told her before hanging up the phone and looking longingly at the bathroom door. If I thought things were strange between us before, the lines had been blurred beyond comprehension now. I concentrated my hearing in order to penetrate through the door and noticed the only sound from the other side was the loud swish of water streaming out of the tap. I couldn't push him, it had been a long an traumatic 24 hours, it would have to wait. I exhaled in defeat as I rose off the bed and stretched myself. My wounds seemed to have healed up, and other then feeling mentally tired, I seemed to be nearly back to my physical peak. I jumped slightly as Damon opened the bathroom door fiercely and came galloping out with a large bag in his hand. I hadn't noticed it when he had come inside, too relieved to see that he was back in one piece. He avoided my gaze as he stopped a few steps short of the bed and after digging in the bag, threw something in my direction. I caught it, and looking down, noticed it was a clean pair of jeans and a hoodie.

"Thought you might want those" He told softly, silencing the confusion on my face. I looked down at my current attire and only remembered from the sight of the fluffy bathrobe that was hugging my body that the only clothes I had to wear home were covered in dirt and blood. I noticed that he had changed out of the clothes he had been wearing into fresh jeans.

"Right...thanks...I didn't even think of that" I heard myself saying

His eyes met mine for a split second before he tore them away and moved towards the chair on the other side of the room "Are you ready to go? I can drive if you're still feeling drained"

"No, no, I'm all good. I'll uh...just get changed and we can hit the road" It was certainly going to be a long drive back to Virginia if this awkwardness stayed in the air. I walked into the bathroom and swiftly got into the new pair of jeans he had picked up for me. It amazed me to know he knew my exact size, but it was Damon, he was more perceptive than he liked the let on. With a quick splash of water on my face I headed out the door and noticed he had already left the room. I did a quick scan of the room, and after grabbing my bloodied up clothes I made my way out the door and down to the pick up truck. Damon was already waiting in the drivers seat, tapping impatiently on the steering wheel. I hurried myself and climbed into the passenger seat.

"If you want to pull around front I'll check us out" I told him softly

"Already done it" He replied instantly as he started the engine and pulled out of the park. We sat in silence for a few moments, my eyes finding their way out the window as I watched the small town pass us by. It wasn't until we drove over the bridge of the interstate that I noticed he had missed the turn

"Damon, I90 was back there..." I told him quickly. He didn't seem to react to my announcement and instead kept driving in the same direction "Damon.."

"We're not taking the interstate. I arranged for my pilot to pick us up on an airstrip outside of town" Of course he did.

"Oh" Was all I could manage. Sinking back into my seat and continuing the car ride in silence.

Ten minutes later we pulled into the 'airstrip' which seemed to be a flat piece of farmland in the middle of nowhere. Low and behold, Damon's jet was sitting waiting for us, and I was actually mildly relieved to know we would be back in Virginia in a little over an hour. Damon motioned for me to board the jet without him as a nervous chauffeur looking man walked over to him at the door of the truck. As I climbed the stairs to the plane, I saw Damon hand him some money before the man climbed into the pick up and started driving back towards the road. I shook my head, wondering where he was paying him to take the truck to, before walking to my usual seat on the jet and falling down into it. I closed my eyes for a moment, thank full that somehow, Damon and I had managed to survive the ordeal of yet another attempt on our lives. I should be used to it by now. When I opened my eyes again, I noticed that Damon was standing in front of me holding a large paper bag. My mind really was cluttered at the moment, I hadn't even heard his footsteps on the plane. Without saying anything, he placed the bag in front of me, edging me to take it, before walking and sitting on the lounge in the middle of the plane. Curious as to what he had given me, I peeked down inside and noticed various items at the bottom of the bag. I moved the bag to empty the contents onto the side table next to my seat and noticed a brand new phone, a brand new wallet and the scorched remains of the one I had left behind in Damon's car last night. I took it in my hands, noticing that although the outside was burnt and destroyed, thankfully, my bank cards and ID seemed to be fine. I breathed a sigh of relief, thankful that I didn't have to replace everything, but curiously eyeing Damon programming his new iphone a few steps away from me. Had he gone back to the crash site? How did he have this? As I was about to ask him the question I heard him begin a heated conversation with Stefan on the phone, so instead picked up the new phone sitting next to the beautifully wrapped Chanel wallet. I turned it on and noticed that all of my contacts had already been brought over from my old one. How the...he had only been gone for a few hours? How had he organised this already. I heard him hang up the phone and I immediately rose to my feet and walked over to sit opposite him.

"Don't start" Was all he said, returning to his phone and not looking up at me

"With what?" I responded sharply

"The questions" He told bluntly "I know you've got them"

"Well do yourself a favour, get over yourself and just answer them" A saw a swift smile creep across the crease of his lips as he finally looked up from his phone to me

"Alright. I'll give you one"

"Three" I rebuffed, enjoying the way the smile spread across his face. He nodded his head in compliance and waited for me to begin my interrogation. I lifted the burnt purse up from my hands "You obviously went back to the crash site earlier?"

"The police towed the car. That and my wallet were the only salvageable things left. I compelled the clerk to turn them over to me. _Next_ " I had completely forgot that Caroline had told me local authorities had found the car and Stefan had told them it had been stolen. It made sense.

"How did you manage to travel to Alabama and back, get your pilot to charter your jet and replace not only your phone but mine in a few hours?"

"I'm a wealthy vampire Elena. I could have managed a lot more in that time frame if it were needed" He bounced his eyebrows up and down before turning his head "One more"

"Is your humanity back?" The words escaped my mouth before I had even realised I had said them. I hadn't intended on asking him that, well, at least not like this, but a part of me was happy I had mentioned the elephant in the room. He looked taken aback by my question, just as shocked as I was that I had asked it in such an indelicate and blunt matter. His eyes didn't leave mine, and as he began roughly strumming his fingers on the table to the side of him, they burnt right down into my soul.

"Yes" He finally answered

"Well what does that mean..." I began before he interjected

"Uh Uh Uh...I believe you had _three_ questions Gilbert. And three were asked. Thanks for playing" He returned his gaze to his phone

" _Damon Giuseppe Salvatore!"_ I warned, causing him to look back up from his phone immediately "So help me god I will take that phone out of your hands and jam it down your throat if you don't answer me!" He gulped loudly at my raised voice and I had to admit, I scared even myself with how angry I was. His eyes met mine again but this time, he looked scared. Not scared of me necessarily, but scared none the less.

"I don't know Elena" He spoke softly, his eyes still filled with the same fear of unknown "I don't know what it means. But as soon as I figure it out. I promise that you'll be the first to know love." He went to say something else before stopping himself short and taking a deep breath "I've done some horrible things in the last few months, especially to you, and until I can figure out a way to make them right...I...I just need some time"

" _Fine_ " I breathed, unsure of what else to say. His humanity was back, but now it seemed like a broken and guilt ridden man was all that was left behind.


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter Thirteen- The Date

"It's absolute bullshit is what it is!" Caroline screeched. I laughed lightly to myself before scolding her to keep her voice down. We hadn't gotten much chance to debrief when I had gotten home last night, so we had decided to take an extended lunch break together for a picnic and gossip in the park. The insane events of Sunday night in Alabama had only caused me to miss one day of work, but the insane volume of emails that had built up in my absence was overwhelming. I had attempted to sway Caroline out of our lunch date so I could try and get through them all but there was no way in hell or high water that she was going to go any longer without finding out every tiny detail of our roadtrip. "No, I will not be quiet. You have been torturing yourself ever since he got back into town trying to get him to flip the switch back, and now that he's finally done it, he tells you that he needs some _time_? Like, no, that is absolute bullshit" She was right, it was bullshit, what what else could I do?

" You really need to learn to form an opinion Caroline Forbes" I laughed lightly in a thinly veiled attempt of changing the subject

"Well we should have faked an attempted murder weeks ago if that's what it would take for him to turn his humanity back on" I hadn't quite gotten to the part about steaming hot motel sex yet, and in all honesty, I wasn't sure that I wanted to tell her. Caroline and I rarely ever kept secrets from each other, even with our sex lives, but this felt different somehow. It was such an intensely powerful moment that I didn't want to share it with anyone else, but maybe her input on the situation could help the confusing thoughts I was having. "It is rather sweet though that that was the kicker. Him nearly dying and you nursing him back to health"

"I guess. I just feel like I'm more confused than ever now"

"In what way?" She asked

"Okay so, I may or may not be leaving out a huge chunk of the story..." I admitted. Her eyes grew wide at my words and she started bouncing up and down like an excited little kid

" _You didn't_! Where! On the jet?" How on earth was she so damned perceptive? I hadn't even alluded that it was sex I was talking about yet she instantly knew

"No of course not" I responded coyly before finally getting the courage to talk about it "At the motel, right after his humanity had been turned back on. It just all happened so quick, one minute he was falling apart on the floor and the next minute he was..."

"Falling apart ontop of you!" She beamed with a devilish grin on her face

"Caroline!"

"Oh come on. This is a pretty epic moment Elena. You've needed to get laid for _months_.."

"It wasn't like that!" I defended. I knew she hadn't intended it to sound that way but her words made it seem like a drunken shallow encounter. It was so much more than that. There was no much emotion wrapped up in that one physical act, and it was something that I couldn't even begin to describe

"Alright _moody_ I'm sorry..." She forfeited "Well?"

"Well what?"

"Come on Elena. It's not only the first time in 6 months that you've slept with him, but it's the first time you've slept with someone since your transition.."

"Meaning?"

"You're going to sit there and pretend like vamp sex isn't on another level?" I eyed her wearingly, relieved and almost a little bit hurt that it wasn't just the fact that it was Damon and I that had made it so special. It was the vampire factor.

"I can't put into words what it was like Care...it was...the most intense thing I've ever felt" Her eyes met mine in understanding before a smile seared through her beautiful features

"See, there is an upside to immortality. It's not all doom, gloom and blood-lust" Her face suddenly changed into fury though "Wait a minute though, so he flipped the switch, gave you the most mind blowing vamp orgasm of you life, disappeared for a few hours then told you he needs some _time?_ That's double bullshit!"

"Pretty much" I agreed. "But what choice do I have Caroline? It's not like I can barge into his office and demand he give me answers to the million questions I have racing through my head. Let's face it, he's had his humanity back for a little under 24 hours now, he probably doesn't have the answers himself. And I can't begin to comprehend what he's going through right now, he's dealing with half a years worth of emotions, he's completely justified in asking me to give him some space..."

"Elena you seriously need to stop doing this" Caroline interjected

"Doing what?" I asked confused

"Making excuse for him and putting his needs ahead of your own"

"I don't.."

"Elena come on. Let's take a look back at not only his behaviour since he got back into town, but his behaviour in general since you guys started hooking up. Every time he did something awful, you justified it. You forgave him for it, and I'm sorry, I know he's going through a lot emotionally right now but so are you, and you need to put yourself first for once instead of being concerned with him all the time"

"I love him Caroline, what else am I supposed to do?" I asked seriously. She had a valid point, but wasn't that what loving someone was all about? Forgiving them when they fall short? Sticking by them?

"Make him fight for you. Make him scared to lose you.."

"I'm not going to play games with him Care. We're passed that"

"Yeah you are, but you have proved your loyalty and love to him; it's about time he proved his for you"

"Why is everything so black and white in your world? It's just so easy in your mind"

"Because it is. The two of you just complicate everything until all you're left with is a giant ball of angst and despair. How many existential crisis's have you seen Stefan and I have in our relationship? _None_. Because we are clear about not only how we feel about each other, but our expectations of the other one"

"Well not all of us are dating Saint Stefan" I shot at her, sounding a little too much like Damon when I used the nickname he had for his brother. But she was insulting me, making it seem like Damon and I were petulant children, and it wasn't fair "Talk to me when he turns off his humanity"

"Ouch, that was a little catty"

"Well we aren't the same Caroline. You can't compare your relationship with Stefan to my relationship with Damon. It's like chalk and cheese. Not only are we dating people who are polar opposites of one another but you and I are polar opposites of one another. You can't honestly sit there and tell me that you and Stefan are 100% perfect 100% of the time? It's just not possible. And even if it were, I wouldn't want that, because it wouldn't be real. Yes, Damon and I have had our problems and a lot of those problems could have been solved with us communicating better. But you can't pick and choose the parts of a relationship that you want, you have to take it as it is, the good and the bad"

"Alright, point taken" She said rolling her eyes "I didn't mean any offence, all I'm saying is; you stood by him, you didn't run away when things got tough and you proved your loyalty. Now? If he wants space, you need to take a step back and let him have it. But don't go running back to him the second he decides that he's ready for you. When that time comes, he needs to prove to you that he loves you. Actions are louder than words honey and lately, those actions haven't been so pretty"

"They've also been the actions of someone without any human emotion" I reinstated.

"And he needs to redeem himself for that. Whether he was truly in control of himself or not, he still hurt you, and he needs to make up for that" She exhaled deeply before crossing her legs on the picnic rug "I'm not trying to attack him or attack your relationship. I just want you to be happy. And although towards the end of your relationship, before you got turned, Damon and I developed somewhat of a friendship, there are times when I...I wish that you'd never met him. When you're good, you're love is beautiful; but when you're bad? Sometimes I think the pro's don't beat that"

" _How can you say that!_ " I roared. She was crossing a line and she knew it

"Lena, I'm not trying to upset you. I'm just telling you how I feel, as someone who loves you very much. You have to admit, our lives haven't exactly taken a turn for the better since the Salvatore brothers came into our lives, especially for you. You've lost your brother, you've lost Bonnie, you lost the privilege of living a human life? All for what? A _guy_? I love Stefan, don't get me wrong, but sometimes I wonder if that love is worth all of the pain we have endured"

"If you wish you'd never met Stefan and continued on with your perfect little existence than that's on you. _Do not_ proceed to tell me how I should feel or even for a second make me feel guilty for not resenting Damon for bringing this madness into my life."

"Elena" Caroline said softly in an attempt to calm me down, but I had flown too far off the handle. My emotions were already running on overdrive, and this was the last thing I needed to hear right now. I stood up off the picnic rug, too furious to continue sitting so close to her and picked up my handbag. I took a few steps away from her before turning around and looking her dead in the face

"You're supposed to be on _my_ side Caroline" And before I could let her respond, I marched through the park and back towards the office.

X X

I didn't speak a word to Caroline once she returned to the office. I hated fighting with my best friend and knew that what she had said to me had been coming from a place of concern, I was still furious with her. I could never insinuate anything of that nature to her about her relationship, and I knew the part of me that was so angry was the same part that tended to protect Damon like a lioness, but regardless, she had overstepped the line.

Three days passed and I still wasn't quite ready to patch things up with her. It wasn't that I was unreasonably mad, there had just been so many things that had happened of late and I needed a little solitude. I kept myself locked up in my office for hours on end, and the only form of contact I had with the outside world, including Caroline, were emails and phone calls. I had wanted to speak with Enzo face to face following the carnage that had occurred at the Miss Mystic Falls Pageant, but instead, like a child, I had Damon handle my meetings and I hid myself away. I had taken so many positive steps in the past few weeks, but finally, all at once, everything felt as if it was drowning me, and I too needed time to process it all. I knew it was cowardly, shielding myself from confronting my problems, but a part of me just needed a break. A part of me just needed to retreat back into my shell and bury myself in work; it was how I had coped before Damon had returned and well, old habits die hard.

Caroline sent me an email a little after 2 on Friday afternoon and said she would be leaving early for the day and didn't come into my office to say goodbye. She knew what I was doing, and she respected me enough to identify when I needed to be left alone, and honestly, I was actually quite thankful for that. We would be fine; I was confident out friendship could whether even the harshest of hurricanes and after losing my connection with Bonnie this year, I didn't want to lose another friend. I just couldn't right now. I tried to turn off the cogs of my over thinking brain and power through the flurry of merger emails I had, and by the time I heard my new personal phone ding at a half past 5, I noticed I had succeeded for a few hours. I ignored it, continuing on with my furious typing and wondering if it would be totally sad if I didn't go home tonight and instead stayed in the office. The living situation at Salvatore Manor had become awkward to the biggest degree, and although it hadn't really seemed that strange to me in his absence, now that Damon was back, I often wondered if I should find an apartment for myself in town. As if seeing him at the office wasn't bad enough, but I didn't have a refuge to hide out in at home without the possibility of running into him. Add my fight with Caroline into the mix and I had a place I most certainly didn't want to return to. All that being said, I knew I couldn't be a cower at the office and that I would have to return. That didn't mean I could go straight into my room and slam the door though. My phone dinged again and I picked it up to see two messages from Stefan. I slid my finger across the screen to open them:

 _Elena, sorry to disturb you but I was wondering if you had plans this evening? Around 7pm? I need to talk to you about something important._

That was strange. Stefan rarely ever texted, he preferred to speak directly over the phone. I immediately began to panic, thinking that it was to do with the company, and my usual self doubting nature jumped to the conclusion that I had done something colossally wrong.

 _It's about Damon. It really can't wait._ The second message read. Damon? Oh lord, what now. I was almost full to the brim of Damon related drama and I didn't really feel like adding any more onto my plate. When I felt like doing and what I would actually do were two different things and as expected, I texted Stefan back that I was free. What can I say? I am a masochist. Between me locking myself up in the office and him needing 'space', I hadn't seen him face to face since our flight back to Virginia on Monday afternoon; and other than a few company related emails, we had not spoken.

 _Great. Meet you at home?_ He replied almost instantly. I sent him the thumbs up back and reluctantly returned to my laptop.

I must have run through every single scenario in my head for the next hour and car ride home. Before my transition into an immortal being I was an anxious overthinking person, and now, well, my vampire brain was constantly swimming with thoughts that I struggled to turn off. I had quickly discovered early in my transition that vampires are capable of thinking of more than one thing at one time, and although this can certainly prove helpful in the day to day runnings of a large company; it proved miserable in my personal life. It quite literally meant that I could simultaneously worry about various different things at the same time, and in that moment it made sense to me why I had struggled to maintain a healthy sleep schedule in the past few months.

I pulled into the driveway of the old boarding house at five to seven and noticed that no other cars were in the driveway. If Stefan needed to talk to me in private, he no doubt had lured Caroline out of the house for the evening, and must have known Damon wouldn't be home ast he would not want to discuss something about him while he was home. Vamp hearing and all. I turned off the ignition of my car and walked inside the house, noting a delightful smell of fresh flowers coming from somewhere inside. I couldn't sense or hear anyone in the house which meant Stefan must be late. I decided on pouring myself a drink to pass the time, plus, let's be honest, a conversation with Stefan about Damon would no doubt be distressing; and only scotch could help that. I wandered into the parlour to the drink trolley and picked up my favourite crystal decanter from the crowded shelf. If there was one perk at living with the Salvatore brothers, it was their never ending supply of expensive whiskey. After over pouring myself a glass I sat patiently on one of the plush couches, staring aimlessly into the fire and pondering when exactly this little temper tantrum of mine was going to be over. Tomorrow was Saturday, and although I didn't have any pressing matters to get to at work, I would most likely find myself hiding out there for another day. It was borderline pathetic, I knew that, but it was comforting to me in my current state. I heard the slow lull of an engine pull into the driveway and sat sipping my scotch in preparation for whatever this little meeting was going to bring. He would no doubt be worried about his brother, and like usual, he would overestimate my ability to help him. Stefan was an incredible person and I highly valued his friendship, but I often thought that he put a little bit too much faith in me and my capabilities. It was an ego boost for sure, but it also gave me a paralysing fear complex of not wanting to let him down. His footsteps carried him from the car to the front door and I heard him brush his boots roughly on the welcome mat before opening the door and coming inside. I tipped the crystal glass vertically and poured the remaining liquid from it down my eager throat, willing the alcohol to give me the courage I was lacking lately. As I rose to my feet to make my way over to the drinks trolley, I noticed it was not Stefan standing under the arch to the parlour, but was instead met with the uneasy eyes of the oldest Salvatore. He shifted his weight from his front to his back foot and stared down at his feet.

"Hi" He greeted sheepishly, looking anywhere in the room but at me. Well I'm glad this wasn't awkward...

"Hi" I responded flatly, not in the mood to entertain his ungainly demeanour.

"I didn't expect you to be home so early. You've been working late this week..."

"Yeah well...you did my job, you know what it can be like" I told, continuing over to the drinks trolly to refresh my drink. I noticed he was still standing in the doorway looking at me, so I plucked up enough strength to at least be courteous to him in his family home "Would you like one?"

"No, thank you. I'm actually looking for Caroline...is she home yet?"

"Caroline?" I asked in confusion. Why on earth would Damon be looking for Caroline? My phone buzzed in my coat pocket and I slipped my hand inside to retrieve it.

 _Go outside to the deck. Have fun...and don't be mad at us- Stefan_.

The rolled my eyes as the realisation of the set-up sank in. I couldn't help but chuckle to myself, knowing that although it had been Stefan to text me, the entire thing had Caroline Forbes written all over it. She knew I wasn't quite ready to have the patch up conversation with her yet, so she used Stefan as the patsy instead. And I had fallen for it: hook line and sinker, and I had a feeling Damon had done exactly the same thing.

"Let me guess. You got a text from Caroline this afternoon, saying that she needed to talk to you about something important. Something to do with me?" I asked him with an almost impressed smile on my face

"How'd you know that?" He asked curiously

"Because I got the exact same message from Stefan. About you" I told honestly. They were playing matchmaker, and I had to admit, it was pretty adorable of them. Despite the insanity of the entire thing. Damon had asked for space and their idea of that was tricking us into spending time together.

"Ah, the old switcheroo huh" He laughed nervously "What did the text say?"

"They want us to go outside on the deck" I informed him and it wasn't until I turned around to look at him that I noticed he seemed accepting of the proposal.

"Well? Couldn't hurt to look...could it?" He looked almost excited and I couldn't help but smile at the boyish appearance he had in that moment. I shrugged and began walking towards him with my drink before following him through the long corridor that lead to the deck. Both of us gasped in surprise as the setting came into view from the open french doors. A circular white table decorated in fresh flowers and candles sat overlooking the grounds with three bottles of champagne to the side of the tiffany chairs cooling on ice. I heard Damon chuckle to himself as we got closer and I could feel myself blushing. It was a gallant effort, but I think it was going to take more than this to resolve whatever the hell was going on between the two of us.

"I swear to god...those two are the perfect match. They are way too meddlesome for their own good"

"They mean well" He rebuffed with a smile on his face

"I guess" I shrugged. I could feel him looking to me for an answer on how to proceed and quite honestly, I had no idea. I finally mustered the courage to turn my head toward him, and was instantly put at ease by the kind look on his face

"Well I mean...I don't have any other plans...they've gone to all this effort...we may as well indulge them" I wasn't expecting that. I exhaled deeply, thinking of our options, before ultimately giving in

"Alright" I smiled. We both walked toward our chairs and Damon pulled mine out for me using the manners I hadn't seen for quite some time. I thanked him softly before my eyes were drawn to two envelopes resting against the large vase in the middle of the table, each with our individual names on it. I handed Damon his before picking up the one addressed to me, curiously tearing it open to find the contents.

" _Elena, tell Damon about one of your favourite childhood memories...Elena, tell Damon a secret you have never told anyone_ " I read aloud before realising it was Caroline's handwriting. She had not only orchestrated the aesthetics of this surprise date, but was also apparently orchestrating the conversation " Uh seriously Caroline!"

"She thinks she's helping" I heard Damon say from underneath his chuckle

"This is just ridiculous"

"Oh come on it's not that bad...I'll start" He offered, narrowing his eyes at his own piece of paper " _Damon, tell Elena three things that you love about her_..."

"Damon you don't have to..." I began before he interuppted me

"You're loyal. You are honestly one of the most loyal people I have ever met in my entire life. It leave me in awe sometimes to see the lengths you will go to in order to honour the people you love" I blinked quickly in shock at his admission. I hadn't expected him to participate in this little game Caroline had created, yet he seemed to be the one encouraging it. So much for space. "You're a fierce, fierce, friend. And...you always stand up for what you believe is right, even if it means taking something away from yourself. You put your morals ahead of your own selfish need and thats...well...incredible" His blue eyes caught mine and wouldn't release them in an effort to show how much he meant he words he way saying to me. It should have pleased me, it should have delighted me to no end to hear him say such wonderful things about me; but instead, it confused me to the point of frustration. "Alright, your turn" He tore his eyes away from me to reach for a bottle of champagne and filled out glasses up while I looked at him baffled. "What?"

"I just...forgive me for being rude but, not too many days ago you asked me to give you some time and some space to figure things out and now...you're submitting to this thinly veiled attempt at sparking romance between us? You can't exactly blame me for being a little confused" He sighed at me words, knowing that I had every right to say them, but seeming a little disappointed none the less

"Yeah I did, and I can see why you're upset. But maybe this is a good thing? When is the last time you and I just sat down and had a nice night together? When is the last time we sat and just talked like regular people?" He had a sincerity in his voice that I hadn't heard in many months and it warmed my heart to hear that familiar sound again "Our lives have been filled with so many horrible things and, I hate to give Caroline credit but, maybe what we need is one night where you are just you and I'm just me? Maybe instead of time apart to comprehend everything that's happened we need to be ordinary people for the night"

"Because we aren't ordinary people Damon" I said truthfully causing a sadness to erupt in his eyes. I took the champagne he had poured for me between my fingers and took a sip, contemplating how to move forward. "But if you want to sit and pretend for a night then...I'll play along"

"Not exactly the answer I was looking for but I'll take it" He told with a sad smile. I rolled my eyes at him before bringing the paper in my left hand back up to eye level " _Elena, tell Damon one of your favourite childhood memories_...um...okay it was freshman year of high school and I was in that horrible transition between kid and teenager. We had a snow-day at school so Jeremy and I were home for the day and my dad decided to cancel his appointments at the clinic and he and my mom stayed home with us. We sat in the living room, wrapped up in blankets and drinking hot cocoa watching all of these olden day movies. Jeremy and I didn't really like them but my dad insisted that we watch _It's a Wonderful Life_. And I remember sitting there, looking at my parents and my brother and just being so...happy...just having so much love in my heart at how wonderful my family was. And knowing that even though I was growing up and everything was changing...that whenever I was with them I felt like a kid again...a felt like a kid who was so blessed to have the family that I did. It was like time stood still and we were the only four people in the world" I had to stop myself as the bitter-sweet memory cause a tear in my eye to develop and Damon gave me an understanding look.

"Thank you" He smiled

"For what?"

"You don't talk about your parents often. I know how much it hurts you to...so...thank you, for sharing that with me"

"Guilt is a hard emotion to push through" I admitted, seeing the shift in his facial expression at my words

"Yeah...I uh...feel like I understand that better than anyone at the moment" I held my tongue before deciding to proceed with the question I wanted to ask him

"How...are you? I mean, I don't even know if I'm really allowed to ask that but.."

"You can ask me whatever you wish to Elena. You know I won't hold anything back from you" He sighed again before taking a long sip of his champagne flute "I'm...holding it together, is the best way to put it I guess. It's not an easy thing, to have to confront months worth of dark and horrible deeds in such a short amount of time but...I've flipped it before so I'm...god...I don't know...I'm trying. It's difficult to do when the one thing I want to do to get me through it is the one thing I know I can't"

"What's that?" I asked

"Lean on you. Seek comfort from you. But that's not something that I'm prepared to do right now. It's not fair"

"Why?"

"You fought for me when at times you shouldn't have. You believed in me when I gave up on myself and it's because of you and how I feel about you that I was able to flip it back. That being said, I can't continue to have you fight my battles for me love, I need to do some of this on my own. And more importantly, I need to find my way back to the person who is worthy of someone like you, and until I can sort through my guilt and shame, I'm not going to bring you into it and cause you any more grief" My lip trembled as his words sunk in and I realised just what his 'time' was really about. He wasn't confused about how he felt about me; he wanted to make sure that when he came back to me, that he wasn't going anywhere again.

"You need to stop doing that"

"Doing what?"

"Putting me on a pedestal"

"You belong exactly at the height that I hold you at"

"Lately I'm not so sure" He eyed me intently, attempting to understand exactly what I was telling him but his furrowed brow told me he was confused. "Damon?" I asked softly, feeling a connection with him in that moment that hadn't been sparked inside me for many moons. "Can I ask you something?"

"Anything?"

"What were you like...when you were human?"

"Why the curiosity?" He pressed, more out of how to better understand my question than to evade it

"I have been thinking a lot lately...about who I am...about the things that are different about me since I became a vampire...and I feel as if I am drifting away from who I used to be, when I was human. I feel like the positive traits in me are getting drowned by the negatives and I guess I was just wondering, what you were like, and how similar you are to that now?" He sighed deeply as he dropped his eyes away from mine and reached over to refill my glass. I could tell from his demeanour that he was going to tell me something that I didn't necessarily want to hear, but something that would answer my question none the less

"There are many qualities about me that are similar to who I was as a human. My romantic side, my loyalty to family, my...well...cheekiness I guess you could call it. However, my more aphotic attributes, the ones that very rarely if ever came to the surface as a human, tend to be a bigger part of who I am now. As an immortal those traits seem to have been magnified"

"What kinds of things?"

"I'm inordinately stubborn; I can easily be cruel and spiteful where as as a human that side of me would only rear it's head if someone made an attack on my family; I'm possessive, dangerously possessive, as you are well aware; and anger, as a vampire my hot headedness has continued to be a problem. I am well aware of it but am powerless to stop it. I think that's one of the most dangerous things: that I can fly off the handle and impulsively do something that I'll no doubt regret later...and more often than not, particularly when my humanity switch has been off, it has lead to the death of someone" He was scarily aware of the flaw he deemed were amplified by his immortality, and I had seen first hand just how terrifying he could be "All in all, I am a darker and malicious version of the light-hearted human I once was. I have found the light shining through more since you came into my life but, in all honesty, I have no doubt in my mind that I was a better person as a human" His disappoint and pensive look told me that it hurt him to say it, but that he meant it. "I know it's not what you want to hear"

"I'd rather be displeased with the truth than comforted with a lie" I told

"That being said Elena, it doesn't mean that my past is your future. I rejected my transition, I spent many months revelling in the hedonism on the darker spectrum of vampirism. All I concerned myself with was the hunt and my vengeance on Katherine. That is not your path. You have friends who love you, you have a job where you make a difference...you have so many things tying you to your humanity that I don't see you letting go of it. You're going to be different, but different doesn't have to be a bad thing"

"It's not the difference that is worrying me as much as it's the detachment" I admitted, causing a frown of worry to spread across his face "I'm sorry I'm bombarding you with all of this, it's just, Stefan doesn't understand this type of thing. He makes it sound so easy and everything is a meadow with beautiful flowers in it kind of thing. I haven't had anyone who has struggled to talk to about it..."

"You can come to me with anything Elena...you know that"

"Yeah I can but it doesn't seem like the right thing to unload a bunch of vamp transition confusion onto a guy who has only had his emotions back for a few days"

"True, but when it comes to you I will always make an exception" He smiled lightly

"Stefan thinks I revel in my rage. He says its the easiest and most dangerous emotion to cling to" I admitted honestly "It scares me, because I know I do. The anger I've felt toward you in the past few weeks and the thoughts it has caused me...it frightens me. As a human, I never reached that level"

"You have to consider what has been happening to you Elena. Think of everything that I put you through lately, it's been a catalyst for the anger to get amplified. That doesn't make you a bad person, and besides, you're still very young. Jesus, if you saw me at your age you'd laugh at yourself for thinking you're in bad shape" He reached his hand over the table and placed it on mine "I think you're doing incredibly, and honestly; I don't think I've ever seen you more alive" His fingers slid down into mine and I felt my hand melt into him. We gazed deep into one another, seeing and feeling everything inside the other's soul for what felt like eternity before I finally broke myself away from his gaze

"Thank you" I whispered before drawing my hand off the table and standing up "I hope you don't think I'm being rude...this has been well, honestly it's been wonderful but...I'm just feeling a little overwhelmed. Would you mind if we took a raincheck?" He nodded his head at me in understanding and he rose to his feet

"Of course" He whispered back at me. I smiled goodnight at him and hoped that he understood that I wasn't running away, I too simply needed some time tonight to process the things we had shared with one another. As I turned to walk away, I felt his hand take mine and pull my body towards his as he placed a soft kiss on my lips. It wasn't an attempt at seduction, it was a soft a tiny kiss of reassurance. He pulled his face away from mine as his thumb gently slid down my jaw "I need you to know something Elena"

"What?" I whispered breathlessly

"However dark I got. However deep inside the soulless shell of a man that I warped into when I thought I had lost you; one thing never changed..." He cooed, bringing me back in and kissing my lips again ever so softy

"What?" I breathed again as he pulled away

"How I feel about you" His faced moved up and kissed my forehead firmly before he let me go out of his grip "Goodnight love. I'll see you tomorrow".

And with those six words he turned on his heel and left me standing on the deck, completely breathless and more confused then ever.


	14. Chapter 14

**A-N Sorry my lovelies! Life has got the better of me lately and I haven't had time to delve into the beautiful and angst filled world of Delena. Accept my apologies and enjoy :) I'll try not to go so long between chapters.**

 **-littledove**

Chapter Fourteen- 3 O'Clock Somewhere

I didn't sleep much that night, I had too many thoughts racing through my head and I felt almost powerless to find the answers to any of the questions longing in my conscience. Was I overreacting with Caroline who was obviously trying to help me? Where did I stand with Damon? When would it be safe for me to mend my friendship with Bonnie. But the most worrying, was I always going to be this uncomfortable in my own skin? My wind swirled like an endless vortex until I could see the early morning sunlight creeping in through the thin curtains hung over the window in the guest room I had been occupying for many months now. As much as I had appreciated Stefan allowing Caroline and I to live with him during my transition and hers, it still didn't feel like home, although if I was completely honest with myself, nowhere had felt like home since my parents had died. As a human, I had always been so certain in who I was and what was important to me, but as a vampire, I was struggling to comprehend even the simplest of my emotions. It felt like a rollercoaster that I had never ridden before. Some days I felt completely confident and in control of myself and my abilities, but other days, I felt like a time bomb ready to explode. Frustration could quickly turn into rage; hurt could spiral into grief in an instant and rejection could manifest itself into hatred. It was as exhausting as it was scary and although since that night in the woods I had confronted a lot of the emotions I had been running from, my penchant to fly off the handle in destructive anger was a part of myself that terrified me.

I was growing dreadfully weary of my overly analytical mind and longed to be able to just shut it all out and _be_ for a little while. Alas, I knew that was wishful thinking considering the cluster of madness my life was. Witches and vampires and diabolically evil ex-girlfriends meant that trouble and worry were two things I would inevitably have to deal with on a daily basis, the thought of which had me feeling drained. I needed to switch off and get lost in something for a little while, and although I immediately considered heading into the office and diving into the stack of emails in my inbox; I decided a more serene and therapeutic approach would be healthier. I overindulged in my morning blood bag, greedily going back for a second which was out of character for me but I reduced it down to being a little stressed. I wasn't a natural glutton, but something about this morning had me craving more A positive than ordinary. After my life force was successfully in my tummy, I let my feet take me lazily to the bookshelf that surrounded the walls of the parlour. It had been one of the first things that had caught my eye the first time I was in the room. A bookshelf and reading selection like that was akin to porn for a bookworm like myself, and although I had been dying to begin my attack on the shelves ever since I moved into the Manor, I hadn't read any of the books yet. Today was going to be the day that changed. After perusing the endless erray of fiction, non fiction, bibles and encyclopaedias, I settled on a classic children's novel: _The Lion, The Witch & The Wardrobe. _Considering I was in dire need of escaping the world of fantasy and the supernatural it probably wasn't the best choice, but it was a story my mother used to read to me over and over again when I was younger so it had some deeply rooted form of comfort in my heart. After my days reading material was in my hand, I made myself a cup of peppermint tea and headed out the back into the garden.

I didn't often come out here, and as I sat down on the swing hanging from the large oak tree, I cursed myself for not enjoying it more often. It was a stunning day; the sun rays felt incredible on my skin and the low buzzing of the bumble bees pollinating the many flowers was therapeutic. I cracked open the novel and watched the tiny particles of dust dance through the morning air like tiny snow flakes and for a moment, I was happy at the increased eyesight that accompanied being a vampire. My eyes dropped down to chapter 1 and began reading:

 _Once there were four children whose names were Peter, Susan, Edmund and Lucy. This story is about something that happened to them when they were sent away from London during the war because of the air-raids..._

I could almost recite this entire book, my mother had read it to me so many times. I can still remember the first evening she sat in the blue armchair beside my bed and catapulted me into the wondrous world of Narnia. The adventure and excitement had amazed me as a child, and I longed to experience the kind of perilous and courageous journey as our four heroes in the book did. As an adult however, faced with situations of danger that required bravery, I wanted nothing more than to be that ordinary child safe in her bed under the watchful eye of her loving mother. I could hear distant footsteps up in the house and gathered that one of my...house mates I guess was the appropriate word...was awake. I ignored the sound, becoming desperately lost in the words and the magical world written on the pages. I jumped slightly when the book flew out of my hands and over my head and it was only after it was torn away that I noticed Damon behind me. He moved from behind the swing and walked around to where I was sitting, falling heavily on the swing of solitude I had been enjoying all to myself.

"Hey!" I shrieked at him, curious as to why he was awake and bothering me at such an early hour.

His head was fixed solidly to the page in the book he had opened at random and he read out loud: " _At last they heard Aslan's voice 'You can can all come back' he said 'I have settled the matter. She has renounced the claim on your brother's blood'_." I scrunched my face up at the sound of his patronising tone "You're reading the Lion the Witch and The Wardrobe? _Really?_ "

"Careful Damon. Remember what happened last time you snatched a book out of my hands and criticised my reading choice?" I warned. A sly smile crept across his face at the memory.

"Who said I was criticising? I'm just surprised. C.S Lewis happens to be a personal favourite of mine" He grinned cheekily handing the book back in my direction. I took it from him greedily and placed it safely back in my hands.

"I wouldn't have picked that" I said truthfully. "You don't exactly seem like the kind to enjoy Children's Fantasy novels"

"He didn't just write the Narnia series you know. He was a poet, an essayist, a Christian apologist..."

"Okay...I get it...you're very wise and cultured.." I told rolling my eyes "You are suspiciously chipper this morning..."

"Why does that sound like an accusation?" He smiled

"Because it's you. And whenever you're joyful about something it worries me.."

"Are you insinuating I am up to no good?"

"I'm insinuating that I know you a little too well to think otherwise" He laughed at my retort and slapped my knee gently, causing a shot of goosebumps to move up my thigh.

"Why shouldn't I be in a good mood? The sun is shining, i've gone more than 24 hours without my evil bitch ex girlfriend trying to kill me and I haven't pissed you off nearly as much as usual..."

"Well it's still early" I smiled at him. I returned my eyes to my book and began reading again lightly before feeling his eyes still on me

"So what are you going to do on this glorious day Elena Gilbert?"

"I'm doing it.." I responded, lifting up my book in demonstration

"A magnificent day and you're going to spend it with your nose in a book?"

"I've spent most of my life with my nose in a book"

"Yeah when you were a boring human. You're a _vampire_ now...the world is your oyster...and you're wasting it just sitting here"

"There's nothing wrong with enjoying a good book for a day"

"There's nothing exciting about it either!" His voice sounded strange "Come on...let's go somewhere" I exhaled the breath I found myself holding and placed my book on my legs so I could turn and look at him

"And where would we go?"

"London...Rome...Paris...hell Florida even. Let's get in the car and just drive!"

"Damon, need I remind you of the last three roadtrips we have taken? They have all ended in one of us nearly being killed. Forgive me if the idea of number four doesn't sound too appealing"

"Alright no road trip then...we'll keep it local. What do you say to copious amounts of tequila shots at the grill?"

"Day drinking? You want me to go day drinking with you at the grill?" I asked raising an eyebrow

"Why not...it's 3 o'clock somewhere right? Besides, what do you have to lose?"

"Oh I don't know. What little dignity I have left" I laughed before crumbling at the sight of his ice blue eyes "Oh what the hell. Fine...but you're paying!"

"Excellent"

x x

Ten minutes later Damon and I walked into the Grill and sat ourselves down in a booth towards the back. I was happy to see it was fairly empty so the chances of running into anyone I knew were slim at this stage. The last thing I wanted was for a lower tier employee to see the CEO of their workplace completely bombed at the bar in the middle of the day, but something about today made me feel like I needed to blow off a little steam. The waitress walked over and Damon asked her for two scotches and four tequila shots, responding with nothing but a whimsical smile when my eyes bulged at his request. He certainly was in the mood to get completely hammered by the look of it. We sat in comfortable silence until our drinks arrived and after licking the salt he had poured on the side of my hand I downed the two shots sitting in front of me and eagerly sucked on the lemon in the centre of the table.

"God" I whelped sticking out my tongue in distaste at the bitterness coursing around my gums "I feel like I'm back in college"

"Whatever Gilbert. You don't really strike me as the keg party and tequila shots kind of girl"

"I'll have you know I wasn't always this boring and uptight" I told him with warning eyes "I used to be... _fun_ "

"Starting bar brawls in Georgia kind of fun?" He teased, bringing up the night back at Bree's bar when I had gotten grotesquely drunk

"I just had a little less on my shoulders you know. The only thing I had to worry about were my grades"

"And now?" He asked curiously

"Uh Uh...you don't get that kind of information unless I've had a lot more of those" I told pointing to the shot glasses. He smiled at me as if it were a challenge and motioned for the waitress for more. I should have known not to encourage him

"So why not go back to that then? I mean...it's not like you have the same responsibilities as you did when you first came back to town"

"What do you mean?"

"Jeremy's gone and he's due to start college in the fall, you don't have the house to worry about anymore and it's not like money is an issue thanks to your...compelling nature"

"So what are you saying?"

"I'm saying...what are you still doing here? Go back to school, finish your degree off, travel the word...there's more to life than working for my father's company in this dead end town"

"You work for your fathers company in this dead end town"

"Because I have a responsibility to it. You don't. There's nothing holding you here any more"

"Oh yeah there's nothing holding me here" I said sarcastically. Was he stupid?

"Enlighten me then"

"Again, another subject neither of us have had enough drinks to discuss" I told firmly.

"So what subjects are safe for us to discuss?" He asked with a smile

"Hmm I don't know...religion, politics..." He laughed deeply again before bringing his drink up to his lips. Well, this little expedition was going to be interesting.

An hour and _a lot_ more drinks later, my mind was feeling a little more at ease and my tongue a little looser. Damon and I had easily fallen into comfortable conversation and for the first time since he had gotten back into Mystic Falls...I found myself having fun with him, and hell, fun in general. It was strange, my relationship and my feelings toward him had been such a roller coaster, especially lately, and it was a little unnerving to be sitting, drinking and talking like the events of the past few months had never happened. Just a few days ago I had been furious with him, just a few weeks ago I wanted to kill him, and now? I was doing shots with him. Nothing in my life was easy or explainable, but instead of worrying about it and de-constructing every little thing like I so often did, I decided for once to just shut up and enjoy the ride.

"So how is little Gilbert? Have you heard from him lately?" Damon asked as we threw back our fifteenth tequila shot. I winched again at the taste but the more I drank the better they seemed to be

"Yeah a few days ago. He's hard to get ahold of these days he's pretty busy with extra curricular. He got early admission into Colorado Tech for the fall which is great"

"Colorado Tech? Next time we compel him remind me to give him better taste"

"There will be no next time. And that's a good school. I'm proud of him"

"Stanford is a good school. Yale is a good school. Brown is a..."

"Alright Mr Fancy Ivy League I get it" I said rolling my eyes "Listen he's a smart kid with a bright future, he'll do great at whatever school he goes to"

"All you need to do is make a trip out to Rhode Island. Get a meeting with the admissions dean and use your _compelling personality_ to secure him a spot. Hell we can go right now"

"Damon I'm not going to use _that_ for an unfair advantage. You need to earn the things that you get in life"

"Oh Elena. So young, so naive. I give you a few more months before that shitty car of yours breaks down and you compel Ernie at the BMW dealership for a 5 series"

"I will not!" I defended with a slightly drunken smile "If I want a 5 series I'll just have to work hard and save the money up to buy it just like everyone else"

"But you aren't every one else. You're special. And now that you're a...you know what...you're even special-er" I furrowed my brow at him with the smile still firmly grasped to either side of my mouth

"Was that? Dare I say? I compliment? From Damon Salvatore himself? What did I do to deserve such a greatly esteemed honour!"

"You went about an hour without gravely insulting me but you're back to square one now" He smirked. I took a sip of my scotch and noticed out the nearby window that Stefan and Caroline were walking hand in hand along the street. I felt myself flinch a little bit, the reminiscence of our fight still lingering in my brain and I shuddered when I noticed Damon was watching me.

"Still fighting with Blondie?" He observed

"What makes you think I'm fighting with Caroline?" I responded

"Oh I don't know, maybe because I have two eyes" He chuckled "You haven't been in the same room with each other all week and you've had that post-fight look plastered all over your face since we got back from Alabama"

"I don't have a post-fight look" I defended before softening in defeat "Fine maybe I do...it's nothing, I sort of, chewed her out the other day when we had lunch together"

"You stood up to Caroline Forbes? You've got bigger balls than I do Gilbert. That girl terrifies me"

"For good reason. She's not someone you want to go to war with, take it from experience"

"So what were you fighting about?"

"You...what else?"

"Ahh...I should have guessed" He said, making a strange little sound with his wet lips "Not my biggest fan of late I'm gathering"

"She thinks she's looking out for me but I think she over stepped her mark"

"She always does Elena. But that's what makes her such a good friend. She is constantly worrying about your wellbeing, and sometimes she can be a little bit pushy when she has an opinion about it but it's coming from a good place"

"I know it is and I've been meaning to apologise to her. I just, feel as if I'm always having to defend myself to her lately, and I'm tired of it"

"Defending yourself or defending me?" His question caught me off guard a little

"Both" I offered honestly "She didn't necessarily have as much faith in you as I did"

"Well I can't say that I blame her there" He shrugged. There had been a question that had been on my mind continuously the past few days, and I felt like I had just enough liquid courage in my stomach to ask him. I inhaled, trying to regain my nerve before resting my hands in my lap.

"Damon, do you remember it all? Everything that happened when your switch was off?" He hesitated for a moment, contemplating what he was going to say before leaning back in the booth and placing his hands behind his head

"Unfortunately, yeah. It's not like a dream or a black out. It's still you, it's just, the worst parts of you" He reached over for his scotch glass and took an eager sip before continuing "Unless you've experienced it it's not something that can be easily explained. You cannot simplify it as an evil alter ego who's rampaging around and ruining your life. That person, it was me. I have the memories the same as any other memories, they're just, one's I'm not particularly proud of. I know it may be hard for you to understand.."

"I felt like you were this whole other person" I confessed. I hadn't intended on doing this in the grill, on having this particular conversation in a public bar, but it just came out of me like word vomit

"I know. I behaved...recklessly, disgustingly.."

"It's just difficult for me to think about the person you've been the past few weeks and the person you are right now, sitting in front of me, as the same"

"I am. It's just the person sitting in front of you right now isn't blocking out his conscience or emotions. That is the difference"

"I'm going to tell you something, and if you ever bring it up again I'll punch you in the face" I warned "As horrible as you were, as appallingly as you behaved...now that I'm...what I am...I can see the appeal of it...of turning it off"

"It gets easier Elena. I promise you. Everything becomes easier to control...less overwhelming"

"You did it. Twice" I reminded him. I didn't mean it to sound so accusing but I could tell by the look on his face that he didn't appreciate my tone

"Yes I did. The first, being in my initial transition as a form of rejecting my nature. And the second, well, I thought I had lost you. You were the one thing tying me to my humanity and you were gone. The grief I felt in the moment, it was...it was the most infinitely powerful emotion I have ever experienced in my life...one I would not care to feel ever again. So I made a choice, a bad one, but the only one I felt could help me survive that moment. Imagine it Elena: think of how easily you can turn from being sad to being in despair. Think of the magnification that comes with your nature. Now imagine that while holding someone you love more than anything dead in your arms. In that moment I had to, or I honestly think I would have been ripped apart" I could feel my eyes begin to water but I promised myself I would not cry. I had understood it before, but hearing him explain it now, explain how his grief had spiralled into torment, it broke my heart as well as terrifying me to my core. I knew that if I had to experience it, if I had to watch him, or Caroline or Jeremy die, I would have made the exact same choice. The difference being, I'm not sure I would have had the strength to come back.

"I'm sorry that's a choice you had to make" I offered sombrely. "If the roles were reversed I'm sure I would have done the same thing"

"I'm not so sure. You are driven by your emotions and your humanity, without it, well, you wouldn't be much use to anyone"

"What did you do? After it happened? Where did you go for all those months?"

"I tossed my phone, got in my car and took off. I headed down to the keys for a few weeks and partied with some old college buddies of mine. Drank my way around the gulf, across Louisiana, Texas and eventually made my way out to L.A. That's when Stefan's guys started gaining in on me. I was out of control and not covering my _dining habits_ very well by then. I couldn't stay in one spot for too long...Stef knows what my patterns are like when my switch is off and it never took him and his goons too long to find me. I eventually started venturing out of the states: Mexico, Columbia, Panama, Belize...places where it's easier for people to disappear without authorities causing too much of a fuss. He always seemed to find me though the sneaky little bastard..."

"Dining habits? So you were...you were...feeding...on people?" I whispered the last sentence as low as I could and even though we were in a noisy bar, you could never be too careful whose ears were on you in this town.

"Yes, I fed directly from people. Some I compelled and let live, some I killed, some enjoyed it and didn't have to be persuaded or disposed of"

"How many people...did you... _kill_?" I shouldn't be asking him, I didn't want to know the answer. But a part of me just kept pushing. He shrugged lazily.

"I have no idea. 50...100 maybe. I didn't count" He admitted with a sad look on his face "I won't lie to you Elena...even though what I tell you might make you look at me differently...I won't sugar coat it"

"I don't want you to"

"It's important for you to know that side of it. That side of _who_ we are. It's why holding onto your humanity is so vital. Without it, we are merely predators consumed by hedonism"

"That's why it's so hard to flip the switch back? The guilt?"

"The guilt and the shame. The shame of knowing that you took someone's life without the blink of an eye. That they could have been someone's sister or brother or girlfriend or father. And you destroyed it, all for your own selfish desires." He bowed his head low to the table "It's not something that I want you to experience. But, unfortunately, because of our nature, it is inevitable"

"That I will kill someone?" I questioned lightly

"We are going to be around for a very long time. It would be naive of me to promise you that you won't. Especially considering they give us the very thing that keeps us alive" He shook his head suddenly and plastered a faux smile on his face "Sorry that took a...well...a dark turn...I didn't intent to frighten you"

"You didn't...you've just...given me a lot to think about" I told firmly "I appreciate your honesty. As supportive and helpful as Stefan has been...he neglects to tell me this type of stuff. He is more a 'glass half full' kind of guy"

"Ohh Stefan. Don't tell me he tried to get you on the bunny diet straight off the bat?"

"He did. It didn't work and after a few weeks he finally gave up" I laughed in memory of the first few weeks of my immorality, hunting forest animals with Stefan. I had given his way of life a try but I just couldn't stomach it. Human blood was a necessity for me; I didn't have as much discipline as Stefan did

"Not everyone is a problem drinker the way Stefan is. He doesn't understand that most of us aren't rippers" Damon commented lightly. Ripper? I could have to ask him about that another time. "Besides you're new, you need the good stuff"

"I wish I didn't need any of it" I admitted. He eyed me for a moment before choosing to ignore the comment. He obviously didn't want to open that can of worms, and if I was smart, I wouldn't want to either. It wasn't the time or the place.

"Never have I ever ruined a perfectly good day drinking session with deep and meaningful conversation" Damon smiled, tipping his drink toward me. He could tell I needed to lighten the mood, and he had chosen the drinking game route

"You're serious?" I grinned at him as he lifted his drink up to his lips again to show he was expecting me to drink "Fine, I'll indulge you" I copied his movement and brought my scotch up to my lips and took an eager drink. If he wanted to play, we would play. "Never have I ever toyed with the emotions of someone for my own personal enjoyment" He growled playfully at me before bringing his glass up to his lips and finished the rest of his glass. He motioned for the waitress to come over and instead of ordering by the glass like we had been doing all morning, he requested two bottles of their top shelf liquor.

"Are you trying to get me completely and utterly shit faced?" I asked him after he was finished ordering and the perky waitress who had been eyeing him ever since we walked through the door walked back behind the bar to submit his request

"No. But if you're gonna play dirty then so am I...and from the looks of it our glasses are going to need topping up fairly frequently"

"Who said I was playing dirty?" I asked coyly, feigning insult. He gave me an all knowing look at the waitress arrived back at the table with two bottles of Chivas Regal. Damon refilled his glass with a generous serving and topped up mine.

"Never have I ever...punched an ex in the face and secretly enjoyed it" He grinned. My hand didn't move from it's firm position on the table and his eye brow cocked at my lack of response "Well now you're just lying"

"No I'm not" I responded very matter of factly "I've never secretly enjoyed hitting an ex...I've openly enjoyed hitting an ex"

He chuckled deeply at my response, abiding by the rules and drinking himself as a loss "I've missed this"

"What?"

"Just hanging out with you. It's... _nice_ "

"Yeah it is" I managed to say from beneath my lashes, a little breathless at his frank admission. He gave me a sweet smile before getting up from the booth

"If you'll excuse me, nature is calling" He told before walking toward the back of the building. I exhaled the breath I had been holding and basked in just how surreal this was. Could we get back to who we were before all of this? Could we be us again? Only time would tell. I felt the wood of the table vibrate aggressively and I saw Damon's phone that he had left on the table was ringing. I ignored it, but as soon as it had finished ringing it started up again. I peered over the table and saw that it was Elijah calling, and not wanting to miss out on the what seemed to be urgent call, I reached over and answered.

"Elena? I was not expecting you. Is Damon otherwise busy?" He replied to my greeting

"Yes I'm sorry he's just stepped away for a moment. Was there something pressing I can help you with?" I asked

"No my dear nothing pressing. I just wanted to thank him for initiating my request so quickly. I understand you are at the local bar at the moment?"

"Yes we are" I responded a little confused

"That is good. The more the two of you are out in public together, the better chance we have of igniting Katherine's jealous streak and coaxing her out of hiding. Your participation in this endeavour is greatly appreciated" So that's why Damon had insisted on getting me out of the house today. It hadn't been to spend time with me, it had been him following the orders of Elijah.

"My pleasure" I responded stiffly before bidding him goodbye and placing Damon's phone back on the table. I wasn't upset with him that he was following orders from Elijah. I was upset that he had made me think we were having a genuinely good time. I sat in silence as I patiently waited for him to return to the rest room and carefully considered how I would bring it up with him. He would be pissed I answered his phone, but I felt like I had more of a right to be cross with him considering the shady move he had just pulled. A few moments later I saw him making his way through the now crowded grill and towards the booth before sitting down with his signature cheeky smile on his face.

"Alright Gilbert. Where were we?" He smirked.

"My turn" I told firmly, picking me drink up and looking him dead in the eye "Never have I ever tricked an ex girlfriend into drinking with me at the grill under the rouge of having a good time together when really I was following orders to try and provoke my other, much more sadistic and cruel, ex girlfriend" All the blood drained from his face at my words and a shade of guilt covered his face. He was trying to work out how I had figured it out, before his eyes dropped down to his phone still sitting on the table

"You went through my phone?" He asked in an aggressive tone

"No actually Elijah called. I thought it might be important so I answered"

"You shouldn't be answering my phone Elena"

"And you shouldn't be lying to me Damon. Not about this. You should have just told me. I would have gladly helped"

"Don't be angry with me"

"I'm not angry with you. I'm just disappointed. Your humanity might be back but it seems I still can't trust you" I told firmly as I stood up from the booth and walked towards the door.


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15- We were infinite

I walked the few blocks from the grill to the office, desperately wanting to avoid going home at all costs. Damon had not enraged me like he had in the last few weeks, he had just made me feel foolish. Foolish to think that we were connecting again when really it was part of a plan Elijah had requested. I knew he hadn't done it maliciously, I knew that he cared about me, but I was fragile at the moment, and if I was honest with myself: it hurt. And if I couldn't trust him to be honest with me, especially now that his humanity was back, well, he was no better than Katherine. I gave the weekend security guard a smile as I punched in my security codes and took the elevator up to the executive level. I liked it here on the weekends, it was quiet, with no one in sight, and I could really escape into my own thoughts. Or hide behind my work, because let's be honest, that's exactly what I was doing.

I sat down behind my desk and breathed a sigh of relief that I was finally in some solitude. I waited for my laptop to boot up and without premption, started thinking back to what Damon was saying at the Grill. I didn't have my parents house or Jeremy to worry about any more, and there really wasn't anything holding me back from returning to New York to resume my degree. I could get away from this all. Get away from Mystic Falls, from Damon, from Katherine, from the town that had taken almost everything from me. It was a tempting thought, but until I was completely comfortable with my immortality and more in control of myself, I wasn't ready to be seperated from the support network I had here. Maybe in a year or two...

I heard the buzzing of the elevator and rolled my eyes impatiently when I saw Damon come walking out into the foyer. It felt like a million years ago that he used to sit in this office while I busied myself around him as his personal assistant, and it brought an unexpected smile to my face to remember just how nervous he used to make me when he would get off that lift in his designer suits.

"I thought I'd find you here" He greeted as he walked into the office

"Please Damon, not right now. Can we do this later" I begged him hoping on the off chance that for once in his life he would give into a request I had.

"You need to stop overreacting" He said, completely ignoring my request. Well, it looks like we were going to do it right now

"Overreacting?" I repeated

"Yes, overreacting. You and I need to be more open with each other"

" _Open with each other_ " I scoffed, completely bewildered at the words coming out of his mouth "You just lied directly to my face and you're lecturing me about being more open with each other?"

"I didn't lie to you Elena. Elijah suggested that you and I spend more time together around town so word got back to Katherine. I wanted to spend some time with you today so I asked you to the Grill. Two birds with one stone"

"Yeah well, you still should have told me"

"Alright maybe I should have. But if I did, would you have been able to relax and have such a good time? Or would you be over thinking everything and telling yourself that I was only out with you because I _had_ to be?" He knew me a little too well and it was annoying at times "Elena, you have to stop jumping to conclusions. I know I haven't given you any reason to trust me recently, but you need to start asking me questions instead of making assumptions and storming away in a huff" He threw his hands up in the air in frustration before taking a few steps and sitting on the edge of his desk "I've hurt you lately. I know I have. And I'm sorry for that. But if you and I are ever going to get back to the way we used to be, if we are ever going to get back to _us_ , then we need to start communicating better. It doesn't have to be this hard" I felt my breath hitch at his words before gaining the courage to speak

"Is that what you want? To go back to the way we used to be?" I questioned with a slight tremble in my voice. His faced morphed into something I hadn't quite seen before but I got the feeling he was being condesending

"Elena...come on" He growled as his hand skimmed over the surface of my desk and grabbed mine "How could you think I could possibly want anything else?

"I don't know...it's been a rough and confusing past few months" His grip around my hand tightened

"Hey. Look at me" He told firmly "No matter what happens. No matter how bad things get or how confusing they may seem. I'm never going to stop loving you. I couldn't...even if I tried...and I've tried, believe me"

"I know you do...I just...I'm not that same girl any more Damon. The girl I was before you left. The girl I was before you turned your humanity off. There are so many things about me that are so different now..."

"And I'm going to enjoy finding out every single little one of them" He reassured me "You stood by me and helped me find my way back when I was lost. Let me do the same for you"

"What if you don't like the person I've become?" I asked seriously. It was a question that had played on my mind over and over the past few days. I wasn't that same innocent naive human that I was when we first fell in love. Immortality had changed me. I was darker now.

"Impossible" Was his instant response

"You say that with such confidence. How can you be so sure?" He smirked cheekily at me, like he knew the answer to a question I hadn't even asked yet, and although it irked me that he had his know it all jackass grin on his face, I somehow found it charming. Suddenly, his gaze broke from mine and he hopped off the desk and walked over to the bar cart that was still in the corner of the office. When I had redecorated the place in order to make it bearable for me to work in here day after day, it was the one piece of his original office furniture I couldn't bring myself to cast aside. He swiftly filled two crystal glasses to the brim with amber liquid and returned to his position on the edge of the desk, thrusting the glass in front of me "What is this for?" I asked

"You and I are going to sit here and hash out this self loathing vamp attitude you seem to have developed since your transition. And in order to do that we are going to need alcohol...lots and lots of alcohol"

"I am not self loathing" I defended, but huffed in defeat when his questioning eyes told me my statement wasn't fooling anyone

"Yeah well tell that to your face; cos it's telling me a whole other story" He grinned. He moved from the desk to the chair directly in front of the desk and leaned his body back so he could stretch out and place his feet on the table. "Alrighty Gilbert. Let's start from the top"

"The top?"

"Yes the top. Your first day of your transition"

"Yeah? What about it?"

"Well? You woke up, you realised you were becoming a vampire...describe"

"Uhh...I don't know. I was on the couch at the Manor. Caroline and Stefan were there. I kept asking where you were and they wouldn't tell me. All they told me was Katherine had compelled me and I'd hurt myself again, but this time it was too late. Caroline fessed up to giving me her blood just in case and I flew into a rage at her for doing it without my permission. They kept trying to tell me what was happening but I just wasn't taking any of it in, I was too concerned with you and why you weren't there.." I saw the look of sadness on his face at my words and I had to prevent myself from walking across the room and throwing my arms around him in comfort. I sensed a feeling of failed obligation for him not being there during my transition, but it wasn't his fault. It was anyone's fault; it was just a huge mess

"So you flew off the handle. Then the head and body aches started kicking in, your sensitivity to light.."

"Yeah it didn't take too long actually. Before I knew it the physical pain was far worse than the mental pain and I was just so...hungry. Caroline and Stefan encouraged me to feed and eventually I downed a blood bag and well..the rest is history. It wasn't until after my transition had been completed that they told me everything that had happened. About your switch, about you taking off. It's kind of strange that they waited so long to tell me"

"It's not actually" He said almost immediately "They know as well as me what you would have done. You would have flown out of there guns blazing in search of me. You wouldn't have given up until you found me and you wouldn't have fed. And well...where would we be then?"

"I guess I never really thought about it like that" I admitted

"Okay so we've gone through the initial stage; what about after it? The first few days?"

"It was just as miserable. Stefan took me out into the woods and tried in vain to get me to feed off animals but I just couldn't keep it down. It just felt so surreal...everything...like this entire new world had opened up yet I was completely and utterly uncomfortable in my own skin. Everything hurt...it hurt to think, it hurt to breathe...because I knew you were out there somewhere with your humanity off and it was all because of me"

"I think the word you are looking for Elena is _guilt._ And trust me when I say that it is the emotion that vampires handle the worst"

"Guilt?"

"You felt responsible for it. For me taking off and switching my emotions off. For you dying and Caroline and Stefan having to help pick up the pieces. You like to be the one who is finding solutions for people. You like to be the one to help others, and when something happens that you feel is your _fault_ , you spiral a little. You did it as a human and now, that behaviour is magnified ten folds" I paused for a moment in an attempt to comprehend what he was explaining to me. It did make sense, I knew that I didn't feel guilt very well, and consciously, I hadn't realised I was perhaps holding onto guilt about Damon's dark months as much as everything else. "You can't be the saviour all of the time Elena. It's okay to accept help from people every once in a while"

"I have been feeling guilt. It's one thing that Stefan and I talked about when you first came back because I was just so... _angry_ all the time and he told me it was a defence mechanism because I didn't want to deal with what was really going on. I guess it makes sense"

"Anger is easy. Anger doesn't hurt as much. Trust me, I know from experience" I furrowed my brow slightly at his words "When I came back into town, my switch wasn't completely off. The second that I found out you were still alive a tiny part of my humanity crept in, whether I wanted to admit it to myself or not. But as soon as you open the door for one thing, it all comes flooding back in, even the stuff that you don't want to. So I clung to anger too. Anger that in my absence you seemed to take over my old life. You moved into the Manor, you had my old job at my fathers company, and subconsciously I knew that you hadn't done any of that to hurt me, in fact on the contrary, you were helping Stefan out in a time that my departure was threatening to cause major havoc to our partners and the companies stocks; but instead of acknowledging that I was experiencing emotions again, I blocked them out and focused on rage. It's completely normal and common for our kind Elena, and you can't beat yourself up about it, or it will consume you"

"That's exactly what Stefan said. Anger will consume you"

"It will. It's a toxic emotion and after a while if that's all you're holding on to, it's pretty easy for you switch to flip itself. What brought you out of it? The anger that you felt for me?"

"It's still there. It's almost... _comforting_ to fall into. You're right, it doesn't hurt as much as what you're truly feeling. But it was the night you brought that girl home and I hit you. As soon as I'd done it the old part of me thats somewhere inside knew I had stepped over the line and done something awful. And I ran, I ran out of the house and deep into the woods and after a while I just dropped to my knees and suddenly, it all just came out of me. I fell apart. All of the things I'd been suppressing since my transition, all of the guilt, just poured out of me and honestly, I felt like I was being torn apart. I realised that I had been pretending I didn't still have feelings for you because it was easier then trying to deal with the mess we were in. I pretended that I hated you and clung to anger because it was easier to focus on what a hurtful asshole you were being than to try and help you through it. I'm better since then, I know I am, and I try not to fall into the rage as much but it's still hard. I used to believe I was a good person with a strong moral compass and now; well, most days I just feel like a monster. A monster capable of so much cruelty" He nodded in acknowledgement of what I was saying, and unlike when I had these kinds of discussions with Stefan, I could tell he could relate to my words.

"I know it may not mean too much to your right now Elena, but I want to give you some advice that someone once told me: you are not the monster that you think you are. You are capable of love and joy and light. And even sometimes when you fall short. Sometimes when you feel like the monster inside of you is consuming you...I will follow you into the dark, and bring you right back." I couldn't help but smile at him as I remembered the words I had so naively whispered into his ear so long ago were repeated to me.

"What idiot told you that?" I smiled softly

"Oh some girl I used to date. I think you'd like her actually; she's the most extraordinary person I've ever met" I took a deep breath, knowing the risk I was taking with this next statement, but in the moment, I felt closer to him then I had since his return home

"I wish it was you Damon. I wish it had been you to help me through all of this from the beginning" He placed his scotch on the desk and walked around to sit right in front of me. He reached his hand out and placed it gently on the side of my jaw in a sign of compassion

"I know" He whispered

"You have no idea how many nights I found myself in your room...just hoping and praying that some way or some how you would come home to me and tell me what I should do or how I was going to get through it. I feel awful and ungrateful because Stefan has been beyond patient and beyond wonderful but...he wasn't you. If I _had_ to go through this I _wanted_ it to be _you_ that taught me...I _needed_ it to be you because now...I'm a mess...and I feel like I'm never going to find my way back to who I used to be"

"Oh Elena" He cooed softly, his right thumb gently skimming the grove between my jaw and my cheekbone "I never wanted this for you. This was my biggest fear from the moment we became involved...that you'd be frozen like me. That you'd never get to live a normal and _human_ life like you were supposed to. And for that, I'm so so sorry" He reached down and placed a kiss on my forehead, lingering for much longer than he perhaps should have, causing tiny bumps of excitement to spread all over my body. He leant back, breaking the contact his lips had against my forehead but never shifting his powerful gaze from my own "I love you. I know I don't deserve to say that to you after what I've done, I know that's probably the last thing you want to hear right now, and it's the last thing I should be saying while everything is so chaotic; but I want you to know that I do. You are the single driving force that has brought me back from the edge time and time again. You are my entire world Elena, and I promise you, this time...I'm going to be there. I _promise_ you, this time, I won't let you down" I had risen to my feet before the last words had left his tongue and in an instant, my lips were on his. I couldn't control myself, every single fibre of my being needed to touch him, to feel his skin against mine, and what started out as a soft chaste kiss had soon moved into a a passionate frenzy. My tongue darted into his already open and eager mouth and I felt a hot tingle in my core as his connected with mine and began an elegantly synchronised dance. My hands connected themselves around his neck and as soon as my skin was on his, I heard a deep growl erupt from his throat and he pulled me firmly against him. I was lost to him, any time his hands or lips were on mine I was completely and utterly lost to him. This was the only thing that made sense, he and I together, and no matter what had happened or how deeply the cuts of the past had scarred me; it was becoming increasingly clear that the two of us together was the only thing to heal my broken and tortured soul. I felt his grip on me loosen and just as quickly as out heated exchange had erupted, he pulled gently away from me. I stood panting and chapped lipped as he smiled sweetly and ran his finger across my cheek

"We can't do this every time Elena. Just...throw caution to the wind and become engrossed in one another"

"We can't?" I asked confused

"We need to do it properly this time. I can't risk losing you again...I _won't_ risk losing you again. And if that means we have to wait a little bit longer until we are both ready...then as much as my heart and my body is screaming at me to do the exact opposite, it's what I'm going to do"

"I miss you and I love you...I can't see there being a better reason then that to through caution to the wind" I told honestly. His eyes scrunched and he pinched the bridge of his nose with his free hand while his other remained tightly gripping my waist

"Can you ever make this easy for me Gilbert?" He growled in frustration, but we both knew that once we started, once our hands had been on each other and the flurry of kisses and touches had ignited a fire: nothing on earth could extinguish it.

"I need you" I told honestly, and although I was on the cusp of intoxication, I knew it was true " _Please"_ His lips returned to mine and in one swift movement he placed his other hand around my waist, hoisted me up and sat me on the desk. I wrapped my legs around him eagerly, impatiently wanting to feel him inside of me again. It had been like no other experience I had ever had in the seedy hotel room on our roadtrip gone wrong and I was desperate to lose my senses in him again. He pressed himself firmly against me and the rock hard erection that was now pressed against my upper thigh told me he was just as ready as I was. His lips broke away from mine and made their way from the curve of my jaw down to my neck, nipping the skin he knew almost made me come undone with a single bite. There was no turning back now, we had passed the point of return, and neither of us would be satisfied until the elegant melancholy of our release came about. He growled in frustration and ripped my shirt from my body before burying his mouth in my eager bosom. My fingers began running through his hair roughly, tugging and pulling as his expert tongue circled and flicked my nipples. He was perfect, and we were perfect together. He growled again before lifting his face up to look at me again

"I need to fuck you Elena... _right now_ " It wasn't a question, it was a statement, and I was in the exact same frame of mind. It was furious and hurried and passionate and as much as I would love to drag it out, as much as I would enjoy letting him take his time with me and explore every inch of my body with his mouth and his fingers; I needed him this very second. He tore the dark denim jeans from their resting place on my hips the tossed them somewhere into the room and growled in arousal as he realised I was not wearing any panties. Even though I didn't think it was possible, it seemed to fuel his fire more, and within a second his own had joined mine on the marble floor of the CEO office and he was thrusting himself deep inside me. He paused as we both basked in the moment of his rock hard cock filling me up to the brim and as my head flew back he began thrusting in and out of me, firmer and firmer each time, I realised just how complete I felt. He moved his right hand that had been gripped around my waist up past my chest and wrapped his long fingers around my neck, choking me slightly. He didn't have to be as gentle with me anymore. I wasn't a delicate and fragile human that he could accidentally break with his extraordinary strength. I was just as strong as he was, maybe even more in my new age, and he no longer had to hold back. He could give everything to me, and I was accepting it with great pleasure. " _Fuck_ " His pace quickened and the sight of me quivering beneath him with one hand on my waist and one on my throat was nearly pushing him over the edge. I could see it in his eyes.

"Do it" I encouraged, knowing he needed it as much as I did

"Not yet" He growled, enjoying the bliss of our connection too much. He slowed the motions of his hips down, no longer moving rapidly inside of me, instead, falling into a slow and powerful rhythm in an attempt to prolong our tryst. He placed his hand back on my hip and pulled me tightly against him and I shuddered at the altered angle that had his cock reaching even further inside of me. My head flew back, almost overwhelmed by the sensation and my orgasm suddenly began exploding as his wet lips connected with my neck and bit me roughly. I fell apart, piece by piece then suddenly all at once and felt every sense in my body disappear into the stunning abyss that only Damon Salvatore could create for me. Time and space stopped and everything else except for my body, his body and this perfect moment was infinite. _We_ were infinite.

 **A/N My sincerest apologies for my long absence my loyal readers. A mixture of the busyness of life and a terrible case of writers block have gotten the better of me. Forgive me? And enjoy :)**


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